The Struggle Against Desire
by theoriginalmikaelsons
Summary: Last Sacrifice Dimitri's POV ! Follow Dimitri's story as he and Rose attempt to uncover the lost Dragomir and keep themselves alive. Emotions are on a high for the ex-Strigoi as he slowly rediscovers himself and learns to love not only himself once again, but learns to extend that love and support to those around him. ON INDEFINITE HIATUS.
1. Chapter 1

**New and improved ! This is the new Chapter 1 to _The Struggle Against Desire. _The story is the same, obviously, but I have added a few extra paragraphs that go into extensive detail about Dimitri and his thought process. **

**I will be doing this for all chapters where I see fit as there are things I would like to edit before continuing. **

**Read and Review ! **

**Bronte xox**

****Chapter 1 - The Great Escape.****

I was never one to like being isolated from the world. Yet here I sat, curled up on my bed for the sixth day in a row. I was feeling extremely claustrophobic, bored, and more than anything, worried about Rose. I knew, without the shadow of a doubt, I had hurt her so badly when I told her that my love for her had faded, but that didn't mean I didn't stop caring about her. It was because I cared so much for her that my love was gone - because I had terrorized her... _used _her for food, to satiate my ever present hunger as a Strigoi. There would always, however, be a part of me that yearned for her. Even now, curled up in isolation, feeling hollow, I knew I still cared for Rose. It was only after I had been thrust into exile, and with nothing to do, that I had begun to realize that, although I no longer loved Rose, I still cared deeply for her and felt concern for her wellbeing. Was it the overwhelming desire to protect her that made me close off, made me stay away? I couldn't be sure. There was nothing that I was sure of anymore.

I was under house arrest, wallowing in my ever present despair. Strict rules had been placed on me after I took down those guardians that were coming after Rose. I didn't blame them for chucking me in here and posting guardians around my room. I had undone all the progress I'd made toward becoming accepted within the Moroi world again. All that effort and unwavering persistence on Vasilisa's part to get me back into the community had been shattered in a split second. One moment of loss of thought and reasoning, and I was once again ostracized. Ever present was the feeling that I would never be welcomed back into the world that I had grown up in and devoted my life to in the most literal of senses. My life felt void of reality being surrounded by whiteout white walls and no company. The silence in my room was deafening and it unfortunately left me with infinite amounts of time to think, let my mind wonder back to the past, focus on the present, and stress about what the future held for me. My time as a Strigoi had left me emotionally scarred and tortured, and I knew it would affect me for the rest of my life. My future. . . It looked bleak, to say the least.

Being Stigoi . . . it changed me. How could such a horrifying and damaging experience like being forced to become the creature you loathed and had spent your entire life destined to destroy, not cripple you beyond repair? Every day I was wracked with guilt and sorrow. Not for myself, but for the lives I took, the people I hurt and most of all, shattering my family who I was yet to speak to. I didn't even know if I could speak to my mother. There was a possibility that when the time came to contact her, she would not want to see me, not want me back in her life. My mother - warm, gentle and loving - would most likely be terrified of me, much like the rest of the Moroi world were. How could anyone trust a monster? No mother in their right mind would trust someone who used to be a Strigoi to come back into the lives of her children and grandchildren. It hurt me to realize that I wouldn't blame her one bit if she decided that she never wanted to see me again. I would probably take the same course if my children were in danger - not that children would ever be a prospect for me. Not after everything I had endured over the last few months.

My soul – if I even still had one, which I doubted – had been ripped from the world of the living and thrust so violently into the world of evil in such a violet way. I didn't think there would ever be a time when it felt whole within me again. Stirogi didn't possess a soul. Was a soul something that one could ever get back once it has been tainted? I didn't think so, although Vasilisa had stressed countless times to me that I did have a soul, that it had been resurrected when she brought me back from the undead.

I looked up when I heard a tap on the door, startled out of my unrelentingly abusive thought process. The guardian stationed inside my room looked at me with gauging eyes, shifting uneasily on his feet, before moving toward the door. He opened it slowly and peered out. I heard a faintly familiar voice. A man's voice, laced with a slight Turkish accent. Abe. There was no doubt in my mind that that was in fact Ibrahim Mazur. Rose Hathaway's infamous father.

He appeared in my door way, stepping inside, my guardian following him. I wasn't allowed privacy, especially when people were visiting. Not that I'd actually had any visitors. I don't know how Abe got in here. But, he was a man of power. And he liked to throw his power around in order to get his own way.

"Mr. Belikov!" I winced at the obvious drop of my official title as a guardian. _Oh well, I guess I'll have to get used to it eventually._

I nodded in acknowledgement. "Ibrahim."

"Oh come now, Dimitri. Call me Abe." He flashed me an overwhelmingly white smile. He was dressed in a grey suit which was played up by a bright purple dress shirt underneath and a multicolored handkerchief in his breast pocket. It took some getting used to, but the overall affect was very Abe. It was a similar outfit to what he had worn at Rose's hearing. _Quirky._

"What do you want?" I asked a little more rudely than I had originally intended. Abe had never shown any ill will toward me, and there was no reason I should encourage it. Being in the position I was in, there was no way I should be trying to push people away. I needed all the allies I could get.

"Well, I am here on behalf of Vasilisa Dragomir," I sat up straighter to listen. He had caught my interest. Abe looked around, his eyes sweeping over the guardian and then a stack of western novels sitting on my night stand. He walked over to them and picked up the top one. I couldn't see what it was called. "She wanted me to check to see how you're doing as she was unable to get over here herself, what with the funeral to organise and an outfit to assemble." As he talked, he slipped a tiny piece of paper inside the book and set it back in its place. I glanced at the guardian. He had missed the small movement. It was a bad miss on his part. Guardians were trained to see and hear everything. Abe slipping paper inside a book was something even a novice should be able to see. But, for once, I was glad that a guardian had slipped in his duties. It made my life a little easier.

"So," Abe said turning back to me. "How are you doing in here?" he surveyed the room. "Small place." He muttered. I ignored him. He should try being locked up in this closet of a room. It was a nightmare for someone who was brought up being in on the action, and for me to be sitting around doing nothing was like my own personal version of Hell wrapped up in a little box. I was itching with anxiety every time I heard a noise outside, wanting to jump into action and get myself out of here.

"Vasilisa sent you this," Abe produced a small jewelry box from the pocket inside his jacket. He handed it to me.

I carefully took the box from his outstretched hand. Opening the box, I saw, nestled in the deep plum silk, was a men's wristband made from platinum. There was an intricate design engraved around the band, and I realized with a start that the design was an exact replica of the pattern on my old silver stake. My heart clenched a little at the thought of my lost life and career as a highly regarded guardian. I shook off my morose feelings. I gently lifted the band from its box and flipped it over. There was another engraving on the other side. _Bravery. Loyalty. Love. _The words were all in Russian. I knew Vasilisa had put a lot of thought into this gift. For a moment, I allowed myself to feel a little contentment, knowing there was someone who I hadn't hurt and who still cared for me. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, I was feeling emotions other than hatred, guilt and anger. There wasn't just contentment; I also felt a small tug in my heart. It wasn't of an intimate nature – it was more that I knew for sure that someone cared for me and that I truly wasn't alone.

"Thank Lissa for me, please," I said quietly to Abe, not trusting my wayward emotions not to choke me up. "And thank you for bringing it to me. That was very kind of you."

"It was no problem, really."

Hesitating briefly, I asked the question I was burning to know the answer to. "How's Rose going?" I asked in an undertone, ensuring my guardian couldn't distinctly hear what I asked.

"She's . . . Well, she's not great," Abe said, worry creasing his brow. I realized suddenly, that, although he didn't know his daughter well, he genuinely cared for her, maybe even loved her. "She's scared, although trying not to show it. She wants to be strong." _Of course, _I thought. Rose was the strongest person I had ever met. I used to think of her as a warrior - brave, beautiful and passionate. Unhindered, thoughts of Rose curled up in a stark jail cell, cold and dark, made my blood run cold and my anger spike at the injustice of it all. No one as good and pure as Rosemarie Hathaway deserved to be locked up in a cell to rot.

I nodded in response to Abe's words, deciding that I had heard enough. "Well, thank you for dropping by. If you don't mind, I'd like to rest," I told him, glancing briefly at the book that held the little note.

"Of course, Mr Belikov," Abe said grandly, returning to his usual demeanor. He swept closer to me and held out his hand to shake mine. Meeting his hand, Abe slipped a roll of bills into my own hand. "It was nice to see you," Without another word, the mobster left the room, sweeping past the guardian with a swift nod in his direction. Money? What do I need with money? I shoved it quickly out of site under my pillow.

I didn't immediately dive for the book like I so desperately wanted to. No, instead I waited and waited for half an hour, although it felt like about ten hours. Eventually, I thought I'd left enough time so as to not look suspicious, and leaned over and grabbed the book. I flipped through the pages as though looking for my page. I found the folded paper about mid way through the novel. Small cursive handwriting covered every inch of the square of paper. It read;

_Dear Dimitri,_

_I hope Abe managed to deliver this paper to you safely, and out of sight of the guardians. I also hope you enjoy your gift. It's a '_thank you in advance' _gift for what I'm about to ask you to do. As you know, Tatiana's funeral will take place tomorrow and we have decided that now is the time for Rose to leave Court. With you. We have devised a plan to break out Rose. But, we are going to need your assistance. A diversion will take place at the funeral tomorrow – a diversion that will need all guardians present. We are relying on your guardians being called in to help clean up._

_Before our distraction takes place, Mikhail and Eddie will take up a post near your building and wait for the guardians to go and assist. They will then go about getting you out. Obviously they won't leave you totally unguarded; but we are hoping for a limited number of guardians staying back. We can't afford for this to take up too much time._

_Once you are out, you will accompany Mikhail and Eddie to the prison. Guardians will need to be fought once again in order to get deeper into the prison where Rose's cell is. Adrian will meet you there and use spirit to ensure that Mikhail and Eddie are not recognised. They will explain to you in detail about that when they see you._

_The money Abe gave you is for you to use when you get Rose out of court. Basically all you have to do is keep her safe and out of the way while we look for answers here at court. Eddie will give you a map and a set of keys to a car when you see him._

_Please, Dimitri, keep her and yourself safe. Don't do anything stupid that could get yourselves killed. Hopefully it won't be long before I see you again._

_Stay safe, love Lissa. xx_

There was a number scrawled at the bottom, along with a name. Sydney Sage. I was to make sure to call her so she would be able to tell us where to meet her. I bit my lip in thought. I admit, I was nervous about their plan. What if something went terribly wrong? And what exactly was their planned diversion? I slipped the paper into my pocket and reached back under the pillow to retrieve the bills, also putting them in the pocket of my jeans. I looked at my clock. It read 12:53am. The funeral was taking place during the day time, so it would be harder to escape, but I trusted Lissa and the rest of her friends.

I settled down in bed, and waited impatiently for sleep to come.

Instead of a peaceful black sleep, I dreamt – no, I was wracked with nightmares. Glowing red eyes – my eyes – haunted my dreams. Stalking my prey – a pretty red-head girl of about eighteen – I slipped into a natural hunting crouch, readying myself for the coveted attack on the girl. She would scream, yes, and it would be my favourite part watching her terror turn to a blissful high and then her head would lull to the side as I drained her petite body of all its thick, hot blood under the glowing moonlight.

A low growl built in the back of my throat as I breathed in her scent. Yes, she would be perfect. My mouth was already pooling with venom as I thought about the feast that lay not five feet ahead of me. I slinked closer to the girl, closing the formidable gap between us.

I lunged to attack and . . . I woke with a start, sweating, gasping for breath. I clawed myself up into a sitting position, running my hands through my hair in frustration and, yes, fear. My heart racing, I glanced at the time. Middle of the night for us nocturnal creatures. My guardian, who was lounging in a chair near the door looked my way. He wasn't a bad person, just doing his job, and I often wondered if he felt pity for me.

"You alright?" He asked quietly, furthering my suspicion that he didn't like me being locked up anymore that I did myself.

"Fine," I said shortly, covering the fact that my heart was beating rapidly and sweat was still beading on my forehead.

Sliding out of bed, I ventured over to the bathroom, welcoming the cool of the tiles under my over heated skin when I leant on the wall. With still shaking hands, I cupped water in them and washed the icy water over my face, relishing in the cool of it. Looking in the mirror, I shuddered at what I saw. Dark bags hung under my sleep-deprived, albeit warm brown eyes. My skin was waxy with stress, aging me about ten years.

"I need to get out of here," I griped quietly. "Tomorrow, you can make it until tomorrow." The mantra formed in my head and I went with it, repeating it over and over as I slipped back into bed, cuddling down under the warm blankets.

Once again, I allowed sleep to claim me, although still frightened of what horrors of my past my unconsciousness would unwittingly dredge up.

I awoke early the next day in anticipation of the day's events having, thankfully, slept soundly for the remainder of the night. It was about two hours before the funeral procession would start. I still had plenty of time. I got up and went into the bathroom to shower and change. I pulled the money and note from my pocket at set it on the bathroom sink.

The warm water of the shower helped to calm the nerves as it washed over my back, loosening the tension I knew was pent up in my muscles. I let the water run over me until the hot water started to dwindle. I turned off the tap and stepped out. I changed into clean jeans and a clean t-shirt. I slipped a thin black hoodie on over the top.

I made my way back into my room and sat on the bed. I could hardly go about casually packing a bag without raising suspicion, so I relaxed back onto the bed, taking one of my worn, but much loved, western novels. All I could do now was wait for Eddie and Mikhail.

Almost three hours had passed when I heard scuffling outside my door. The guardian inside looked at me, then quickly headed for the door.

"What's going on?" I heard him ask.

"Something's blown up over at the funeral procession. We need all hands on deck. Ensure that no one leaves before we find out who did this." A man with a deep voice answered him briskly and formally – just the way a guardian should respond in an emergency.

"Ivanovic, you stay here and watch him."

Good. Only one guardian was staying. I had hoped for this. I made sure I had everything, and I was ready to go when I heard more movement outside, this time there was also a thump as Ivanovic, I presume, hit the ground. Hard. The door flew open and Mikhail, Eddie and Adrian Ivashkov stood there.

"Hey Belikov," Adrian greeted me. I just nodded to him.

"Alright, we don't have time to waste. I trust you got Lissa's note?" Eddie asked.

"Yes." I nodded in assent.

"Good. So the plan hasn't changed. You, and I hope you're prepared for this, but you're going to be the one who takes the fall for this one. Also, Adrian will make sure that you are the only one seen when we take down the guardians inside the prison. Okay?" I nodded. I was prepared for this. I had assumed as much. But, if it meant I was going to be able to get out of here, and get Rose out, I was all for it.

Eddie threw over a pair of keys for a Honda. I put them in my pocket along with the cash and Lissa's note. "You'll also need this." He passed me a map. I opened it. It was a map of the U.S. I scanned it quickly and found a tiny town located on the map. It had a bright red circle around it. "This is where you're taking Rose." Eddie said, pointing to the town in West Virginia. By the size of it, one could hardly call it a town.

"And what role are Lissa and Christian playing in this?" I asked, worried. They, as Royals could not afford to be caught up in a jail breach.

"Safe and sound. No one will suspect a thing." Mikhail said mysteriously, banishing my fears for them.

"What about Abe? What's he done in this?" I knew without a doubt that the old mobster guy had a hand in all of this. From what I had heard of his reputation, this kind of thing was totally his scene. I couldn't help making a link back to Rose – she was very much like her father. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

"He orchestrated the whole plan. He was the mastermind behind it all. We blew up the statues over near the procession using his recently converted C4." I raised an eyebrow, but otherwise didn't say anything. Abe was known for his out there and generally dangerous plans. This certainly fell into both those categories. In all, I was completely unsurprised about his role. C4, though, seemed a little extreme. And dangerous.

Adrian checked his watch. "Come on guys, we've got to run if we want to make it in time."

We all hurried out the door and across the grounds toward the court's jail. There were no guardians stationed around the prison, for which I was thankful. They were all over at the site of the explosion. We quickly slipped in through the gates. We came into contact with two guardians whom we took down quickly, but we made a fair bit of noise. A group of guardians – three of them - came rushing up the narrow corridor. We met them with force. I knocked two down to the ground where they lay unconscious. I stayed back with Adrian while Eddie and Mikhail went further into the jail.

We could hear thumps as people hit the floor, but from what I could see, there weren't all that many guardians in there. The scuffling sounds stopped and we could hear Mikhail and Eddie make their way deeper in the corridor. They had handled their jobs admirably, taking down their attackers quickly and efficiently.

"What's going on?" Rose's demanding voiced sounded down the corridor. The sound of her voice made my heart constrict. She sounded good, like herself. It seemed that she was able to stay strong while being locked up. She may have been thrown in a high security jail for suspicion of murdering the queen, but nothing could dampen the girls' attitude. No, that was still firmly intact.

"Nice to see you too," Eddie said a little sarcastically.

"Did you guys..." she trailed off. Although I couldn't see her face, I knew she would be frowning in deep concentration, trying to figure out what was going on. The keys in Mikhail's hand flashed in the light. She must have seen them. "Did you two just take on every guardian in this building?"

Mikhail unlocked the door as Eddie answered her. "Rose, there are no guardians in this building. Well, maybe one. And these guys." Eddie gestured in the direction of the earlier fight where the guards lay unconscious.

When she hurried out of her cell, which had ironically been mine, my breath caught in my throat. She looked a mess. Her long waist length hair was a tangled mess, but still exotically beautiful. Rose definitely needed a little bit of TLC. So it was a good thing Adrian was around. Because he's her boyfriend and I'm her... were we even friends? I wasn't sure.

"The rest of the guardians are all checking out the explosion," it seemed to have suddenly dawned on her. "Oh no. You had Christian blow up ancient Moroi artifacts."

"Of course not," Eddie said with derision evident in his voice. "Other fire users would have been able to tell if he did."

"Well, that's something," she said.

"We used C4," Mikhail explained offhandedly.

"Where on earth did you –" her eyes landed on me standing at the end of the hallway. I continued to survey the surroundings, my arms crossed over my chest. Rose's eyes bore into me, like her gaze alone was enough to pierce my soul, and to be honest, it once had looked right into my soul. Not anymore though. That was history.

"You're here too?" asked Rose, still staring at me with such uncertainty, like she wasn't sure I was actually there. "Aren't you under house arrest?" I was about to answer her when Eddie jumped in.

"He escaped," said Eddie in a sheepish tone. "It's what people would expect some violent probably-still-a-Strigoi guy to do, right?"

"You'd also expect him to come bust you out," Mikhail added, playing along with Eddie's game. "Especially considering how he fought for you last week. Really, everyone is going to think he busted you out _alone. _Not with us."

I still said nothing, even though I wanted to just whisper her name. But, I kept quiet. I couldn't help my gaze wondering as it slid over Rose, looking for any sort of injury. I breathed a small sigh of relief when I found she was physically okay.

"Come on," I finally said. "We don't have much time." We literally had about twenty minutes tops if we wanted to get out of here alive. But if they didn't hurry up, we were all going to die. Rose didn't move, instead she kept talking.

"There's no way they'll think _he _did it alone!" she exclaimed. I'll admit, my pride was dampened a little. Didn't she think I could take on these guardians alone? She continued. "They saw your faces." She said with a wave of her hand in the direction of the still unconscious guardians.

"Not really," Adrian's voice sounded from just behind me. He stepped through the door way. "Not after a little spirit-induced amnesia. By the time they wake up, the only person they'll remember seeing will be that unstable Russian guy. No offence." He threw the last line at me.

"None taken."

Rose stared at us, looking between Adrian and I. Slowly a grin spread across her face, lighting her eyes up. "Lissa lied to your mom earlier," she said. "You're supposed to be passed out drunk somewhere." To be honest, I was almost proud of the fact that he _wasn't _in fact passed out drunk. I had to hand it to him, even though it had been a tough week, he had managed to stay away from his spirit numbing vices long enough to be able to produce enough power to ensure that the guards would only remember me.

Adrian smiled in response to Rose's own smile. He truly was smitten. "Well, yes, that would probably be the smarter – and more enjoyable – thing to be doing right now. And hopefully, that's what everyone thinks I'm doing."

I could feel my agitation growing at all the meaningless, time wasting chit-chat going on. We had to get the hell out of here. "We need to go," I said firmly. They all turned to me, their light banter vanishing instantly. Eddie and Mikhail grew serious, their guardian masks slipping into place, ready for action. Rose looked ready to follow orders. And Adrian seemed as though he was okay with continuing.

Rose made to take a few steps forward, closer to me, but Adrian threw out a hand to stop her. "Wait – before you go with us, you need to know something." My patience was reaching breaking point, and if we didn't get going now, I was going to walk down there, pick Rose up and take her to the car by force. Ivashkov was just wasting time. "She _does._" Adrian insisted, meeting my gaze. He knew I was going to protest. "Rose, if you escape... you're more or less confirming your guilt. You'll be a fugitive. If the guardians find you, they aren't going to need a trial or sentence to kill you on sight."

Every set of eyes in the room now rested on Rose, gauging her reaction to the ultimatum she was given. I knew the odds of her getting a fair trial here at court were slim to nothing. If she stayed, she was just counting down the days until her death. If she escaped with me, she would have a chance. It was still a slim one, but it was there, and it was the best thing we had. I was a man of rules, I always abided by them, but in this scenario, I was all for breaking them. Rose reached her decision.

"Let's go." She said with finality.

We all hurried out of the building. I was anxious to get going with the plan. I could hear Rose say to Adrian; "You've got to be using a lot of spirit to pull off all those illusions on the guards." She observed.

"I am," Adrian agreed. "And I don't really have the power to do it for very long. Lissa probably could have made a dozen guardians think they'd seen ghosts. Me? I can barely make a few forget Eddie and Mikhail. That's why there had to be someone they remembered to attract the attention, and Dimitri's the ideal scapegoat." Glad I could be of assistance, I thought.

"Well, thank you." Rose murmured.

"Yeah, well, I'm supposed to be crazy right?" I would have said crazy wasn't quite the right word where Adrian was concerned. Insane, delusional, annoying. Take your pick. "And there isn't much I wouldn't do for you. The stupider, the better." I felt a flash of jealousy shoot through me. Why was I jealous? It wasn't like I was in love with Rose anymore.

We emerged onto the main floor of the prison. As I'd hoped, all the rooms and halls were still virtually deserted. The group hurried out the door and into the fresh air.

"Now what?" Rose asked.

"Now we take you to the getaway car," Eddie said.

The garages of the court weren't that far from where we were at the prison, but they weren't exactly just around the corner either. And we had a fair bit of ground to get across without being detected. Rose spoke my thoughts. It had always amazed me how in sync we always seemed to be.

"That's a lot of open ground to cover," she observed, scanning the area around us.

"I'm using spirit to keep us all vague and nondescript," Adrian muttered, trying to keep pace with us as we moved quickly across the Court grounds. He was doing well considering he didn't have the years of training the rest of us did. "People won't recognize us unless they stop and stare directly at us."

"Which they probably won't," said Mikhail. "If anyone even notices us at all. Everyone's too worried about themselves to pay much attention to others in all this chaos."

Everyone could see that Mikhail was right. Even though the church where the funeral was being held was a fair distance from the court's prison, enough time had passed that anyone over there had made it to this part of court. Some were seeking cover in their own houses, others were looking for their guardians for protection. And there were some who were heading to the garages, where we were bound for.

"People are freaked out enough to actually try to leave court. The garages will be crowded." Rose noted.

Mikhail obviously saw this as a possible advantage to us. "That could help us. More chaos."

"What's Lissa doing during all of this?" Rose asked.

"Lissa needs to stay innocent. She can't be linked to any part of the escape or explosion," I told her, my eyes never wavering away from the direction we were going. "She has to keep herself visible with the other royals. So does Christian." I could feel a slight smile tugging at my mouth. I fought to subside it. This was a serious time, and not one for smiling. People's lives were in the balance here. Mainly mine and Rose's. "Those two would certainly be my first suspects if something exploded."

"But the guardians won't suspect them once they realize the blast wasn't caused by magic," Rose mused quietly. "And hey, where _did _you guys get a hold of C4? Military grade explosives are kind of extreme, even for you."

But no one had any time to answer Rose's question, because out of nowhere, three guardians were blocking our path. Apparently we had been wrong when we thought they would be all out at the church. Without even thinking about it, Rose and I leapt into action, fighting together as if we had just been doing it in practise yesterday. Defensives instincts kicked into overdrive as Rose and I fought to make sure that they wouldn't be able to get a direct look at the others. It didn't matter if we were noticed, because we would take them down before they had the chance to alert anyone else. I knew Rose would be battling the same inner fight I was right now. Fighting against our own was not something we took lightly. It went against every I had been taught. Guardians fought _together _not against each other. It just wasn't right. And to make it even harder, they were guardians I knew and liked. Two of them were court guardians that I had always been friendly with and the other was a friend of Rose's from St. Valdimir's, Meredith.

I let Rose take Meredith whilst I concerned myself with the other two, much larger guardians. My aim here was to seriously maim but not kill. Never kill. I took them down easily and efficiently. They were out cold, but would recover, probably with a concussion and a few nasty bruises to the head.

Glancing around told me that Rose had done what she had to do and Meredith now lay on the floor, knocked out. Rose's face was contorted into one of anguish and regret. Eddie sought to comfort his friend.

"You did what you had to do," he said with a sympathetic smile. "She'll be okay. Banged up, but okay."

"I hit her hard." Rose worried her lip with her teeth.

"The medics can deal with concussions. Hell, how many did we get in practice?"

We continued, finally arriving at the garages. Rose had been right, they were extremely crowded. People, mainly Moroi, were rushing to get cars and to get out of court. Someone was even asking if anyone knew how to hot-wire a car.

I kept my head straight forward and walked purposely toward the Honda Civic. We hurried through the people, making our way to the further side of the garage. A man stood near the grey Honda, arms crossed as he studied the windshield. He heard our approach and turned to face us.

"Abe!" Rose exclaimed when she lay eyes on her father.

Abe flashed her one of his trademark, unnaturally white smiles.

"What are you doing here?" I demanded. He wasn't supposed to be here. That wasn't part of the plan. He, like Lissa and Christian, needed to remain innocent in this. He, above all would be number one on anyone's list of suspects. Rose was his daughter after all. And he was her 'attorney'.

Abe merely shrugged his shoulders. "Vasilisa will make sure a few people at the palace swear they saw me there during suspicious times." He turned to face Rose. "Besides, I couldn't leave without telling you goodbye, could I?"

Rose shook her head. "Was this all part of your plan as my lawyer?" I don't recall explosive escapes being part of legal training."

"Well, I'm sure it wasn't part of Damon Taurus' legal training." Abe's little smile never faltered. "I told you Rose. You will never face execution – or even a trial, if I can help it." He paused for a moment before continuing. "Which, of course, I can."

Once again, I could feel my impatience building. Abe needed to shut up so we could leave. At this rate, someone would see us and we'd all be chucked in a jail cell.

"If I run, it's just going to make me seem that much more guilty." Rose mumbled.

"They already think you're guilty," said Abe. "You wasting away in that cell won't change that. This just ensures we now have more time to do what we need to without your execution looming over us."

"And what are you going to do exactly?"

"Prove you're innocent," said Adrian. "Or, well, that you didn't kill my aunt. I've known for a while you aren't all that innocent." I ground my teeth together at the double meaning in his words.

"What, are you guys going to destroy the evidence?" Rose asked, ignoring Adrian's words. She heard his meaning too and let it slide.

"No," Eddie said. "We have to find who really did kill her."

"You guys shouldn't be involved with that, now that I'm free. It's my problem. Isn't that why you got me out?"

"It's a problem you can't solve while you're at Court," Abe told her seriously. "We need you gone and safe."

"Yeah, but I –" I broke off her last sentence. I was getting frustrated at all the time wasting.

"We're wasting time arguing," I growled. I looked over to the other garages. Everything was still in a state of chaos and thankfully no one had noticed us yet. I handed Rose one of the silver stakes Eddie had given to me before. "I know everything looks disorganised, but you'll be amazed at how quickly the guardians will restore order. And when they do, they're going to lock this place down."

"They don't need to," Rose said slowly. "We're already going to have trouble going out of Court. We'll be stopped – if we can even get to the gate. There are going to be cars lined up for miles!"

"Ah, well," Abe said, twiddling his thumbs. "I have it on good authority there's going to be a new 'gate' opening up soon over on the south side of the wall."

Rose seemed to have finally realized who had supplied the explosives. "Oh lord. You're the one who's been doling out C4."

"You make it sound so easy," Abe said with a frown. "That stuff's hard to get a hold of."

My patience had finally reached its peak. "All of you: Rose needs to leave _now_. She's in danger. I'll drag her out if I have to." I meant it too. I would pick her up and carry her out. She knew that.

"You don't have to go with me," she shot back at me. "I'll take care of myself. No one else needs to get in trouble. Give me the keys."

I almost laughed outright at her request. Like I'd let her behind the wheel of a car. She would probably have it wrapped around a tree within three miles of court. She was being ridiculous.

"Rose, I can't really get in any more trouble. Someone has to be responsible for helping you, and I'm the best choice."

"Go," Eddie said, giving Rose a quick hug. "We'll be in touch through Lissa."

Rose hugged Mikhail, murmuring something I couldn't quite catch.

She hugged Adrian longer that the rest, and when he leant down to kiss her lips, I turned away. Once again, seeing her with Adrian made my heart jolt in a painful way and I still couldn't figure out why. They really were perfect for each other, and no matter what kind of reputation Adrian had, I could see he truly loved her. Otherwise he wouldn't have done all he had done for her. That was an act of love.

"Adrian, thank you for – "

Adrian held up his hand to stop her. "It's not goodbye, little dhampir. I'll see you in your dreams." Once again, unwitting jealously made an appearance. I squashed it, reminding myself that I was only jealous because they could have a loving relationship with each other without having to worry about reputations as monsters.

"If you stay sober enough." She joked.

"For you, I just might." Adrian said with a wink.

A loud booming sound interrupted the goodbyes. A flash of light was visible to the right of us. People screamed, probably worried it was another attack.

"There, you see?" Abe seemed quite pleased with himself. He bounced around a little on his feet. "A new gate. Perfect timing."

Rose gave him a hug. Abe gave her a fond smile. "Ah, my daughter," he mused. "Eighteen, and already you've been accused of murder, aided felons, and acquired a death count higher than most guardians will ever see." He paused. "I couldn't be prouder." Funny thing was, he actually sounded pretty damn proud of his daughter. What father wouldn't want to have their daughter on the run from the feds? I thought sarcastically.

"Goodbye, old man. And thanks."

Finally we were in the car and speeding toward Abe's 'new gate'. A few people had turned up to see what the commotion was about this time, but fortunately for us, no officials had made an appearance just yet. I manoeuvred the car neatly through the gap in the wall.

"Why is our getaway car a Civic?" Rose asked. "It's not really great for off-roading."

I didn't look at her, even though my mind was telling me to. Even just in her presence, I was affect by her. I pushed it aside. I didn't love her anymore. Which was a good thing. She didn't need someone like me in her life in _that _way. No, Adrian was good for her. I wasn't. Plain and simple.

"Because Civics are one of the most common cars out there and don't attract attention. And this should be the only off-roading we do. Once we hit a freeway, we're putting as much distance between us and Court as we can – before abandoning the car, of course."

"Abandon – " I could see her shake her head, letting it go. "Look, now that we're out of there, I want you to know that I mean it: you don't have to come with me. I appreciate your help in the escape. Really. But hanging out with me won't do you any favors. They'll be hunting for me more that you. If you take off, you can live somewhere around humans and not be treated like a lab animal," I cringed at the use of words. "You might even be able to slink back to court. Tasha would put up a good fight for you."

I didn't answer her for a long while. I was lost in my own thoughts. Did I want to go back? No, I didn't think I did. Being free was the best feeling I had felt in a long time. Even when I was restored to a dhampir, I didn't feel_free._ I still felt like I was trapped. But, now, with the prospect of being out in the open air, free to do as I wished, being back at Court was sounding much less appealing. I finally felt _alive _again. As for Tasha putting up a fight for me, I wasn't sure it was her I wanted fighting for me. Something inside my head whispered; _it's Rose. Always Rose. She's the one you want to fight for you every day._ I ignored the voice. It wasn't true.

I finally answered Rose. "I'm not leaving you. None of your Rose-logic arguments are going to work. And if you try to get away from me, I'll just find you." I knew I would find her, and so did she.

"But why?" I don't want you with me." I frowned. That hurt. Why wouldn't she want me with her? I answered my own question; because I hurt her. Because she hated me for what I did to her. And that was completely understandable. I expected her to shy away from me after what I said to her. Any person would be upset.

"It doesn't matter what you want. Or what I want. Lissa asked me to protect you."And that is exactly what I planned on doing even if Rose intended to spend the entire time being resistant and difficult. I knew I could just take her by force if it came to it.

"Hey, I don't need anyone to – " I cut her off, already knowing what she was going to say. She didn't think she needed anyone to protect her. Well, bad luck. I'm here to stay.

"And," I continued over her. "I meant what I said to her. I swore I'd serve her and help her for the rest of my life, and she asks. If she wants me to be your bodyguard, then that's what I'll be." I gave her a look that hopefully conveyed the 'no arguments' message to her. "There's no way you're getting rid of me anytime soon."


	2. Chapter 2

**Howdy all. This is chapter two for The Struggle Against Desire. Like chapter one, its new and improved with more detail added and hopefully I've dealt with any grammatical errors. **

**Original readers will note the changes, although for the most part, it is the same. I'm just perfecting it.**

**Read and review ! **

**Chapter 2 – Wayward Emotions. **

I glanced over at Rose. She seemed lost in some deep thought as she stared out the window, her head resting on the door. Her expression was impassive, no emotion there to read. She was probably planning her escape from me. It wouldn't work though. I knew she meant it when she said she didn't want me to be going on this journey with her, but whether she liked it or not, I wasn't going anywhere. I planned to honour my debt to Lissa until the day I died. I knew her too well. I would find her. Those words sent chills down my spine. I remembered saying them to Rose when I was still a Strigoi. It was true though. I would always be able to find her. Like two magnets, drawn together and powerless to stop it, we were always drawn to each other. That's how Rose and I were.

We had been on the road for about an hour and the silence within the car was getting thicker by the second. It wasn't an awkward silence per se, Rose and I were always comfortable around each other, but I felt the need to break it anyway. I needed to know what she was thinking. So I decided to speak my assumption rather than question her.

"I know what you're thinking," my voice shattered the silence. Rose's head jerked up and she stared at me.

"Huh?" she stared at me, blinking her eyes rapidly, clearing whatever thoughts that had been running avidly through her mind.

"And it won't work," I added. "You're planning how to get away from me, probably when we eventually stop for gas. You're thinking maybe you'll have a chance to run off then." Rose glared at me with narrowed eyes. So I _had_been right. She was planning on making a break for it. I laughed a little on the inside.

"This is a waste of time," she spat angrily, gesturing around the Honda Civic. I raised one eyebrow at her. Waste of time, huh? I felt my irritation with her spike. Sure we should just go back to Court where she will be executed on the spot after what we did tonight. Even _I _would be locked up at the very least. I didn't want to go back there anymore than the rational side of Rose did. We had taken a huge gamble breaking out of Court and if we went back on it now, the consequences would be disastrous. No, there was no turning back now. We had to wait and let our fates rest in the hands of our friends and allies. We had no other option. I would run until Rose's name was cleared, until she was able to return safely to the world who had shunned us both.

"Oh? You have better things to be doing than fleeing the people who want to lock you up and execute you? Please don't tell me again that this is too dangerous for me." After everything that I had been though and I had done, there wasn't much I should be afraid of doing. My mind was telling me I was doing this because Lissa asked me and because I wanted to use it as a chance to get out and see the world again. But, my heart was telling a very different story. Somewhere deep down, I knew I was doing this for Rose. Because I would always do anything for my Roza. But I didn't want to acknowledge those rampant thoughts. It reminded me too painfully of the past, of the life I had lost and would never be able to get back. I pushed it all aside, focusing on the here and now, on getting us as far away from Court as possible.

I looked back at Rose who was still giving me a death look. If looks could kill, I'd be in big trouble. "It's about more than just you. Running away shouldn't be my only concern. I should be helping clear my name, not hiding in whatever remote place you're undoubtedly taking me to. The answers are at Court." Rose said defiantly.

"And you have lots of friends at Court who will be working on that. It'll be easier on them if they know you're safe." I told her firmly, not wanting to start an argument with her now in the small confines of the Civic. We couldn't afford to fight. We had to maintain a united front and work together in unison – support each other. That was the only way we were going to get through all this alive.

"What I want to know is why no one told me about this – or, I mean, why Lissa didn't. Why'd she hide it? Don't you think I'd have been more helpful if I'd been ready?" Rose said, her anger spiking again.

"We did the fighting, not you," I said. "We were afraid if you knew, you might give away that something was up."

"I would never have told!" She looked outraged, aghast at the thought that we didn't trust her with the important information.

"Not intentionally, no. But if you were tense or anxious... well, your guards would pick up on those kinds of things." We had all been taught to look out for changes in a person's demeanour, looking for anything suspicious. Rose's guardians would have picked up on her edgy body language very quickly. This plan would have been thwarted before it even begun to take place.

"Well, now that we're out, can you tell me where we're going? Was I right? Is it some crazy, remote place?"

I didn't answer her. There was a small smile playing around my lips and I fought hard to keep it from becoming a fully fledged grin. I knew Rose was going to _hate_ West Virginia. There was nothing to do there, and for someone like Rose, who loved to be in the midst of action, being holed up in a small hotel with no cable in a small town with no mall, would be absolute torture. I could already tell we were going to get into arguments about the living state we would be in for who knew how long. Rose was too flighty to stay locked up in a four-walled room. I knew she would go stir crazy. I probably would too, although I was better at dealing with my emotions than what Rose was.

"I hate not being in the loop." She grumbled defiantly. That smile was growing bigger, I could feel it.

"Well, I have my own personal theory that the more you don't know, the more curiosity is likely to make you stick around with me." I told her with a grin. That got her. Once again, I had effortlessly guessed what she was thinking correctly.

"That's ridiculous," replied Rose. She sighed. "When the hell did things get so out of control? When did you guys start being the masterminds? I'm the one who comes up with the wacky, impossible plans. I'm supposed to be the general here, now I'm barely a lieutenant." She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

I smiled and began to say something back to her, but one glance in the revision mirror made me stop and freeze for a few seconds. Lights flashed in my mirror. It was dark now, and there were more cars on the roads than before, but it was easy to detect a follower. They never wavered from your path, always keeping directly behind you. We had a tail. "Derʹmo" I swore through my teeth.

"What's wrong?" Rose asked.

"We have a tail. I didn't think it would happen this soon." I said through my clenched teeth. I had to think quickly now. There was no room for hesitation or mistakes. Our lives rested precariously on the ledge of a very steep cliff that would ultimately lead to our demise if we so much as took a slight wrong turn.

"Are you sure?" she asked, fear lacing her words. I yearned to reach out and grab her hand between mine, to comfort her, but there was no time for that. I needed to act fast.

I didn't reply. Of course I was sure. I swore again in my native language, and then I swerved the car across two lanes, just avoiding a collision with a minivan that honked at me. I ignored it. I saw the exit at the right and I quickly cut across and onto the exit, barely missing hitting the exit ramp's rail. I glanced in the review mirror and saw that our tail had made the same drastic change in direction.

"The Court must have gotten the word out pretty fast," I said, still keeping one eye on the car behind us. "They had someone watching the interstates." I spat angrily.

"Maybe we should have taken the back roads." Rose suggested.

I just shook my head. "Too slow. None of it would have been an issue once we switched cars, but they found us too soon. We'll have to get a new one here. This is the biggest city we'll hit before the Maryland boarder." I quickly formulated a plan in my head, hoping to God it would work. I had no other choice. We had to give them the slip as soon as possible and get a new car. A sign on the side of the road indicated that we were in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.

"What exactly is your plan to get a new car?" Rose asked a cautiously. _Hot wire Rose. Duh._I didn't answer her question, instead I began to tell her what to do, improvising as I spoke, pushing dangerously past the speed limit. I didn't want to kill an innocent, but we were more important now.

"Listen carefully. It is very, _very_important that you do exactly as I say. No improvising. No arguing. There are guardians in that car, and by now they've alerted every other guardian around here – possibly even the human police."

ʺWouldn't the police catching us create a few problems?ʺ She asked.

ʺThe Alchemists would sort it out and make sure we ended up back with the Moroi.ʺ I told her. The Alchemists were a society of humans who helped to protect Moroi and dhampir interests, keeping our existence a secret from the human world. If humans knew we existed, they would be tempted to experiment with us. They were much to curious for their own good.

When I spoke next, it was in a commanding tone, urging to her that there was no time for arguments. ʺNo matter what you think of the choices everyone's been making for you, no matter how unhappy you are with this situation, you know—I know you do—that I've never failed you when our lives were at stake. You trusted me in the past. Trust me now.ʺ I almost pleaded, hoping she wouldn't remember what I was remembering. I had in fact failed her in the past. I promised her on the night the academy was attacked that I would never leave her, yet a mere few hours later; I had been defeated by Strigoi. But I would never fail her again if I could help it.

ʺOkay,ʺ Rose said quietly. Of course she would remember it. It was the day I had hurt her. The day I left her. ʺI'll do whatever you say. Just remember not to talk down to me. I'm not your student anymore. I'm your equal now." She said firmly.

I glanced over at her in surprise, taking my eyes off of the road. "You've always been my equal Roza." I said. The use of her Russian nickname slipped out of my mouth before I could stop it. I worked to control my emotions, slipping my guardian mask back into place. Now was not the time to be vulnerable. We had armed guards to escape. Thankfully, Rose didn't acknowledge my slip us.

Finally I spotted a sign, the sign I was looking for. It read _Westland Cinema._ ʺThere. Do you see that movie theatre sign?" I asked, pointing to the large, brightly lit sign ahead of us.

Rose gazed down the stretch of road ahead, scanning the signs of all the restaurants, looking for the important one. At last she spotted it. "Yes." She said.

"That's where we're going to meet." I told her. Rose looked a little bit apprehensive at the thought of us splitting up. I could see she wanted to protest, but she held up her end of her promise. No arguing over the decisions I made. They were all made in her best interest.

I reached into the pocket of my duster and pulled out the piece of paper that had the Alchemist's number on it. Sydney. ʺIf I'm not there in a half hour, you call this number and go without me.ʺ I told her firmly and with an air of finality. I so did not need an argument with her now.

She looked aghast, and, despite her earlier promise, started to protest my words. ʺWhat do you mean if you're not —ah!ʺ she was cut off by my sudden swerve of the Honda through a red light, once again, narrowly missing a number of cars. To be honest, I was quite proud of my awesome driving skills. The sudden move had had the effect I was hoping for. Our tail missed the turn off for the mall and sped past us. They hit the brakes quickly, realizing their mistake, as they hurried to turn around. I knew we only had seconds before they caught up again, and we needed to use those precious seconds to our advantage. My heart was racing beneath my chest, reminding me painfully that I was alive. _For now. _Adrenaline washed through me, urging me on.

The mall parking lot was crowded, which was what I had been hoping for. More people and more cars to blend in with meant that it would be harder to be detected. Of course, there was always the possibility that there were already guardians stationed around the mall, readying themselves to find us at a single moment's notice. It was around 8'o clock. Prime entertainment time for human teenagers. I drove around for a bit, looking for a parking spot. I finally shifted the car into a handicapped spot, disregarding the penalty signs for illegal parking.

I quickly slipped out of the car, Rose following along closely behind me.

ʺHere's where we split up," I said jogging toward a set of doors. ʺMove fast, but don't run when we're inside. Don't attract attention." I said desperately. We needed to blend in, because I had an unsettling feeling that there would be guardians around here somewhere, and Rose and I walking together would attract way too much attention, what with my height and Rose's attractive looks. We were much too conspicuous together.

"Blend in. Wind through it for a little bit; then get out through any exit but this one. Walk out near a group of humans and then head for the theatre.ʺ I told her. Rose stood there for a few moments, and I began to worry she had frozen up in shock. I gave her a light push in her lower back, urging her forward. "Go." She finally moved toward the escalator while I took off along the main floor. I allowed myself a final glance at her retreating figure to make sure she was okay. She was a little thinner than normal, but otherwise well. She held herself high, but still inconspicuously. Just as I had asked her. I took a deep breath and turned from her, trusting that she would be fine, and briskly set off through the crowded mall.

I needed to find a phone and then an exit. Or whichever came first. I found a good exit, and quickly ducked out into the night air. A pay phone stood to the left of the exit. I quickly jogged over to it. I had memorised Sydney's number and after slotting some coins into the machine, I dialled the number and waited.

After the second ring, a girl answered on the other end with; "Sydney Sage."

"Sydney? It's Dimitri Belikov." I said a little uncertainly, hoping she knew my name.

"Oh thank God, Dimitri. I was expecting a call from you about an hour ago. Is everything okay?" Her voice had a distinct air of professionalism, but she sounded a little uncomfortable.

"Yes, well, we had a tail when we hit the interstate, so we're in Maryland now, at a mall. We're going to get a new car and then meet up with you soon." I said, quickly filling her in on the events.

"Okay, well, I'm in Roanoke, in Virginia. Can you get here in a few hours and meet me?"

"Yes, we can do that. Where should we meet you?" I asked.

"Get off the second exit and about three miles down a road, there's a McDonald's. I know Rose well enough to know she would be starving. I'll have a tan SUV." Wait, she knew Rose?

"You know Rose?" I asked, confused.

"I'll explain later, or Rose can. Just go get a car. Now." And with that the line went dead. I replaced the receiver on the hook and went in search of a suitable car. I eventually came across a Honda Accord. Yes, another Honda, but they had good performance and they were inconspicuous. There weren't many people around, and I hoped the car didn't have an alarm set. I tried the door. Not locked. Who didn't lock their cars? And what were the chances that I'd find the unlocked one. I wasn't going to question my luck. Instead I opened the door and went about starting it up. Once I had the motor running, I jumped in the car and kicked it into reverse. Now to find Rose.

The car handled well as I sped over to the theatre, keeping a look out for Rose. My watch told me that the half an hour I had set was up. It had taken forty minutes, a little longer than I expected. I rounded a corner and saw Rose standing on the sidewalk, her hand resting on her pocket. I stuck my head out of the driver's side window. "Rose!" I pulled the car up alongside the curb. Rose whipped around and the relief was obvious on her face. She didn't waste a second in hurrying around to the passenger side and sliding into the seat.

I glanced over at her. Ripped sleave, hair a mess. She had been in a fight. But that didn't matter; she had gotten away and was safe now.

I pressed down hard on the accelerator and sped off, back onto the highway, driving as fast as I could without attracting the attention of police. Police on our tail was the last thing we needed right now. I kept taking fleeting looks into the revision mirror, constantly checking to make sure we hadn't been followed. So far, so good. If we attracted another follower, I didn't know how we were going to slip away from them once we were out on the open highway. I felt vulnerable. There were so many things that could go wrong. We were counting on too much to go our way. Sighing, I pushed my negative thoughts aside, and focused on navigating my way through the dense traffic and onto the busy main road.

Rose broke the silence that had filled the car. "Is there anyone behind us?" She asked nervously, glancing behind us.

I shook my head. "I don't think so. It will take them a while to figure out what car we are in."

"Did you hotwire this car?" she asked, then, she rephrased her question. "Did you _steal_ the car?"

ʺYou have an interesting set of morals." I noted mildly. ʺBreaking out of jail is okay. But steal a car, and you sound totally outraged.ʺ I smirked.

ʺI′m just more surprised than outraged," Rose said, slumping back against the leather seat. She sighed. ʺI was afraid . . . well, for a moment there, I was afraid you weren't coming. That they'd caught you or something.ʺ Rose's voice dropped away, a little spark of anguish masking her voice. My heart skipped a beat and my breath caught. I couldn't allow any pain to come to her, especially not where I was concerned. I didn't need her worrying about me, fearing for me. That was my job. I glanced sideways at her. Rose's face was impassive as she stared out the windscreen, keeping her eyes averted from my own.

ʺNo. Most of my time was spent sneaking out and finding a suitable car."I said, keeping the emotion from my voice. Rose didn't say anything about that, and once again, silence fell over the car. God, I was so unbelievably exhausted. Too much had happened today, too many emotions strung ruthlessly through me without a thought spared for my still fragile state of mind. I almost felt as if I was bordering on the edge of depression. I always felt so tired these days.

At last she said; "You didn't ask what happened to me," Rose sounded a little displeased.

ʺDon't need to. You're here. That's what counts.ʺ I said flippantly, glancing over at her rumpled appearance. She wasn't hurt, I could see that.

ʺI got in a fight.ʺ

ʺI can tell. Your sleeve is ripped.ʺ I pointed to her arm where there was a tear in her shirt.

She looked down, toying her finger in the gash. "Don't you want to know anything about the fight?" God this girl was persistent.

My eyes stayed on the road ahead of us. ʺI already know. You took down your enemy. You did it fast, and you did it well. Because you're just that good.ʺ Of course she was good – more than good, even - I had taught her. She was an excellent and brave fighter. One of the many things I regret in my life was missing her field test. I knew she would have been the best one out there. I could picture her in battle, like a warrior, never fearing a thing. Rose's voice brought me out of my riviere.

ʺOkay. So what now, General?" Rose began. I almost smiled ruefully at her uncanny ability to drag me out of the depths of my sadness and make me feel whole again. "Don't you think they'll scan reports of stolen cars and get our license plate number?ʺ

ʺLikely. But by then, we'll have a new car—one they won't have any clue about.ʺ I said matter-of-factly.

Rose frowned, a small crease appearing above her eyes. I wanted to reach out and smooth away the creases with my fingers. I held back, knowing I would regret touching her. I had to keep reminding myself that not only did I not love her anymore, but she had a boyfriend waiting for her back at Court. As much as Adrian had irked me ever since I first met him back at the ski lodge all those months ago, I knew without the shadow of a doubt that he loved Rose with all he was capable of. I couldn't take that away from him. I didn't _want _to take that away from him. I wasn't worth of love.

ʺHow are you pulling that off?ʺ Rose asked sceptically.

ʺWe're meeting someone in a few hours.ʺ

ʺDamn it," she swore. "I _really_hate being the last one to know about everything.ʺ I fought back a smile at her pout, once again marvelling in her ability to make my mood soar once again.

The rest of the journey to Roanoke was spent in a comfortable silence. As we neared the city, I started looking at the exits ahead of us. I found the second exit and, without bothering to indicate at the the turn off, I swerved the car and onto the exit ramp. As I turned, I continued looking behind us for anyone suspiciously following. There was nothing behind us except a grey Mercedes Benz with a family in it.

I found the McDonald's Sydney had mentioned and pulled in. Rose looked at me hopefully. "I don't suppose that this is a food break?" she gave me a sweet smile, and right on cue, her stomach grumbled, indicating that she was in fact hungry.

"This," I gestured to the restaurant, "Is where we catch our next ride." I drove around the parking lot searching for Sydney's SUV. Rose perked up a little and I followed her line of sight. A girl, a little older than Rose, stood against a SUV, her back to us. I pulled into the vacant parking space next to her. Rose was out of the car before I had even stepped on the brake.

"Sydney?" she said.

The girl turned around, a rueful smile spreading across her face as she took in Rose. She held up a McDonald's bag.

Sydney walked over to us, a large McDonald's bag clasped between her fingers. I looked her over. She had short blonde hair and was dressed perfectly in black slacks and a matching black jacket. It looked expensive. The Golden Lily tattoo that identified her as an Alchemist glistened on her cheek. Although she appeared to be at ease, I couldn't help wondering how uncomfortable she felt around us. From what little experience I had with Alchemists, I knew they instinctively shied away from us, despite working closely with our kind.

"Hey Rose," Sydney offered us both a small smile. "Figured you'd be hungry."

**Thank you for reading ! **

**As a guide; I hope to edit and replace at least one chapter per day, although it may not go like that. I'm going to try my best to stick to it, but sometimes real life gets in the way. If things go according to plan, I may be able to have a brand new chapter for you next weekend ! So keep the wonderful reviews coming and thank you all for your continued support. I really do appreciate it.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Second edit today ! it's not taking all that long, although so far each chapter has had about 2 thousand words added to it. I sincerely hope you are all re-reading (original readers) and beginning to read (new readers) each chapter because I am working hard to make them be alluring. I mean, we all like to know what goes on in Dimitri's head don't we !**

**Read and review, my lovelies. **

**Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns all rights. **

**Chapter 3 – Conflict. **

Rose looked really happy to see Sydney, and I reminded myself to ask one of them about that later. Clearly they knew each other from some other time. But, an Alchemist being friendly with dhampirs was not a common thing amongst the Moroi world and it baffled me slightly, although I shouldn't have been surprised. It was hard not to like Rose. Alchemists were created to help protect humans from us, not socialise with our races. We were monsters in their eyes. But looking at Rose and Sydney, I could tell that Sydney didn't really hold any dislike for Rose. Although, I noted, I seemed to be a different matter all together. Sydney eyed me uneasily, shifting her stance to a more self-preservation one. I frowned a little. I wouldn't hurt her. I knew that news of my . . . _transformation _would have undoubtedly reached the Alchemists. I wondered if that was adding to her discomfort.

Rose was looking at Sydney's brand new Honda CR-V that was sporting Louisiana plates and a rental sticker. "What the hell?" she exclaimed suddenly. Sydney and I looked at her questioningly as she looked at the car as though it had offended her. "Is this daring escape being sponsored by Honda?" I smirked, but didn't say anything. Neither did Sydney. Rose sighed in frustration.

"Are we going to New Orleans?" she asked as we piled into Sydney's car.

"No," Sydney said. "We're going to West Virginia." And there it was. I hadn't planned on disclosing our destination to Rose, knowing she would flip out over it. But, Sydney didn't seem the type to beat around the bush. She was an all business kind of person. Abrupt in a way. Rose's head whipped around to face me, eyes narrowed in suspicion. I almost cowered at her glare.

"I assume by 'West Virginia' you actually mean Hawaii," she said hopefully. "Or someplace equally exciting." Ah, I was right once again. It truly did frighten me how well I knew her and how without difficulty, I could guess her reactions and emotions without a second thought. We were so tuned to one another's likes and dislikes, it was hard not to know what she was thinking. Although, when I didn't know what was running through her overactive mind, I found myself growing increasingly frustrated. I always wanted to know what she was thinking.

ʺHonestly, I think you're better off avoiding excitement right now,ʺ Sydney pointed out. The carʹs GPS device directed her to her next turn, leading us back toward I-81. She frowned slightly. ʺAnd West Virginia's actually really pretty.ʺ Somehow, I just didn't think "pretty" was going to cut it for Rose. She wanted somewhere with action. Not a place of tranquil environments. It just wasn't her scene. To be perfectly honest, it wasn't what I was particularly interested in either, but I knew it would be safe – or, I thought with a sigh of resignation – as safe as Rose could ever be. She seemed to draw trouble to her unwittingly.

Rose ignored her, instead asking another set of questions. "Why are you helping us?" From my position on the back seat, I had a fairly clear view of Sydney's face, and I could see a faint scowl contort her face.

"Why do you think?" she asked a tad sarcastically.

"Abe." Rose said simply and without hesitation.

Sydney sighed and slumped back in the driver's seat. "I'm starting to wonder if New Orleans was worth it." Abe must have gotten her a transfer from wherever her last post had been. Evidently she owed Abe. Rose's father did not do favours lightly. This was a way of repaying her debts to him. I couldn't imagine what had been so terrible that she needed to pull some strings with Ibrahim Mazur. I think I would rather die than enter an agreement with the mobster. Although he appeared to just be a concerned father back at Court, I knew he was incredibly dangerous. His reputation preceded him.

"Okay, so why are we going to West Virginia?" Rose asked.

Sydney opened her mouth to reply, but I cut her off. "Not yet." I warned. I didn't want her to know that she was about to be holed up in a hotel until her friends back at Court could find the real murderer of Queen Tatiana Ivashkov and clear Rose's name. Until that happened, she wasn't going anywhere. It was obvious to me that if we told her the fine details of our plan, Rose would put up a huge fight and I just wasn't in the mood to reason with her just now. I needed to rest. Hours of driving and a daring escape took a lot out of you, especially when I hadn't slept properly in . . . well, since _before _everything happened back at St. Vladimir's. I wondered briefly if I would ever feel comfortable enough to sleep soundly again. I felt aged with the lack of sleep. I never felt truly at ease and it built up a hell of a lot of tension throughout my already exhausted body. I sighed and rested my head back on the headrest in the back seat. I closed my eyes briefly, but reopened them when Rose spoke.

Rose turned from the front seat of the Honda to face me. "I am so sick of this! We've been on the run for six hours now, and I still don't know all the details. I get that we're staying away from the guardians, but are we seriously going to West Virginia? Are we going to make some cabin our base of operation? Like, one on the side of a mountain that doesn't have plumbing?" She wasn't totally off the mark with her assumption there, although I was sure that Abe had arranged a hotel that actually had plumbing. That should make Rose a little happier, I thought sarcastically, fighting back a sigh of frustration at Rose's insistent frustration. I was nearing the end of my patience with her. It shocked me. I was rarely ever angry with her. Even when she had refused to leave me alone shortly after I was released from prison despite my insistence that she do so, I hadn't been truly angry with her because I knew she had been only doing it out of concern. But now, what with being so exhausted and with my emotions reaching breaking point, I felt incredible annoyance at the girl I once loved and cherished.

Sydney gave her a scornful look. "Do you actually know anything _about_West Virginia?" she asked exasperatedly.

ʺYou know we've been set up, right?ʺ Rose asked her defensively. ʺWe didn't really do anything. They say I killed the queen, but—ʺ

ʺI know,ʺ Sydney interrupted. ʺI've heard all about it. All the Alchemists know about it. You two are at the top of our most wanted list.ʺ she shifted in her seat uneasily, looking back at me quickly before facing the front again. She seemed quite comfortable around Rose, but I sensed that I made her a little troubled.

"I didn't do it," Rose insisted, taking on a self-protective tone. She appeared to have the constant urge to get it across to Sydney that she really was the innocent one here. It was important to her that Sydney knew that.

Sydney didn't acknowledge her comment. Instead, she said, ʺYou should eat. Your food's getting cold. We've got a little over three hours to go and won't be stopping except for gas.ʺ Rose sighed in defeat. She knew she wasn't going to get anymore answers from the Alchemist for a while.

Rose looked inside the McDonald's bag and pulled out two enormous servings of fries and three cheese burgers. Her eyes seemed to light up when she saw the food. She turned in her seat and held out a cheeseburger. "You want one? Gotta keep up your strength." She said with a small smile of encouragement. I hesitated briefly, before cautiously reaching out and taking it from her. My fingers brushed the back of her hand, and I felt a rush of warmth throughout my body. The skin on my fingers where I had touched her was burning like a fire. I pushed the feeling away.

I looked down at the burger in my hand. Food was still something that was foreign to me, after my time as a Strigoi. Strigoi didn't need food, they only needed blood. Even the smell of the fried food was strange. I hadn't eaten much since I was restored, and I knew I had lost weight and strength. But Rose was right, I needed to be ready for attack, ready for anything. And that meant eating.

Rose also passed me a serving of fries and then turned back and began shoving food into her mouth as quickly as possible, not bothering to offer Sydney any. Most girls – especially teenage girls – would be self-conscious about stuffing McDonald's down, but not Rose. That was one thing she would never be ashamed of. Her love for food.

I glanced down at the floor and saw a backpack with the name _Rose. H._ written on it. I picked it up and looked inside it. The bag contained clothes and basic toiletries. I handed the small backpack over to Rose. "I think this is for you." I told her. I picked up the other bag with_Dimitri. B_scrawled across the top in black marker.

Rose began pulling out the clothes from the bag. ʺShorts, shirts, and a dress. I can't fight in these. I need jeans.ʺ she scowled. I knew what she was unhappy about. The clothes were impractical - she _did_need jeans rather than shorts and dresses. Although... the dress _would_look extremely cute on her.

ʺThat's gratitude for you,ʺ said Sydney dryly. ʺThis happened kind of fast." She gestured around the car. "There was only so much I could put together.ʺ

As I looked inside the bag, I caught sight of something brown and leather. _A duster!_I thought gleefully.

ʺA duster?ʺ Rose exclaimed, as she watched me pull out the long, leather coat. ʺYou managed to get him a duster, but you couldn't find me a pair of jeans?ʺ she asked with an incredulous huff.

Sydney didn't seem to be too perturbed by Rose's outrage. "Abe said it was essential. Besides, if all goes like it's supposed to, you won't be doing any fighting.ʺ I only hoped we wouldn't have to do any fighting at any point during this hideaway, but chances were, we would run into Strigoi or guardians along the way.

The rest of the car ride was fairly silent. Rose slouched back in her seat, her eyes shutting, although I could tell she was with Lissa and not asleep from her breathing.

"So how do you know Rose?" I asked Sydney quietly. She glanced at me in the rear vision mirror.

"Rose didn't tell you?" I shook my head.

"Oh, we met in Russia." I cast my eyes down, trying to banish the memories my beloved country now held within it. Sometimes I didn't know if I would ever be able to go back without feeling guilty or afraid of my past. I knew what I did there would haunt me forever.

"Can you tell me what happened in Russia? I never really got the details." I asked softly, not sure if I really wanted to know what Rose did in my beloved country before I found her.

"I met Rose in Novosibirsk one night. I knew there would have to be a guardian or an un promised drop-out around somewhere from the amount of Strigoi bodies I had to get rid of. I found her as she was leaving a bar late at night. We ran into some trouble with Strigoi. Rose saved me." She said offhandedly.

"She was looking for me." I stated the obvious. Sydney nodded in answer.

"Of course, I didn't know that at the time. In fact, I didn't know for a while. I called Abe and said I found her and he told me to go with her. So, I was under strict instructions to not leave her side. We ended up at your family's home." I frowned a little. I missed my mother dearly, as well as my sisters and my grandmother. I wondered briefly if they had liked Rose. _Of course they would have liked Rose, _my subconscious murmured. I knew my mother would have adored Rose. The more girls in the family home the better. Mama loved all her daughters and I knew she would have welcomed Rose into the family with open arms.

Lissa had told me a little about what happened there, but I hadn't heard it first hand from Rose or Sydney.

"When Rose told your mother and sisters what had happened, I realised that it was more than a student teacher relationship between you. Your grandmother did too. She also kept saying that Rose had to keep going, that there was hope." She looked questioningly at me.

"Yeva is, well, I guess you would call her a fortune teller. She _knows_things that others just don't know. She probably did know that I was going to come back." I muttered. Thoughts of my grandmother made me ache. I missed her as much as I missed my mother. Some might say that Yeva is totally insane and delusional, but she had always been there for me when I was growing up and I loved her so much. I only hoped that I would see her again one day.

"Dimitri?" Sydney murmured quietly, pulling me out of my train of thought.

"Yeah?"

"I know that you think it was all Lissa who brought you back, but I know that Rose spent a long time, and did a lot of illegal things to figure out how to restore you. Prison breaks, conspiring with criminals, breaking so many laws – following a lead that might have led her to nothing at all expect more heartache. She dedicated herself to finding you and bringing you back. I know what Vasilisa did was incredibly brave and well beyond all expectation from a Moroi and you should be thankful to her for that, she deserves your loyalty to her. But, having said that - the plan - that was all Rose's idea. And she deserves credit for it, not to be pushed away and for you to worship Lissa."

I sighed. "I know Rose did amazing things, there is no way I'm not going to deny that. But, _please,"_ my voice grew desperate. "You have to know that I can never forgive myself for what I did to her in Russia. I used her for food. How can I go back to her after everything I did? I can't love anyone anymore, Sydney. I just don't have that capability anymore. You can't even begin to understand how much damage being Strigoi and then being brought back does to you. I can barely live with myself." I let the words rush out. This was the first time I had ever said these words to anyone, and to a complete stranger? I was desperate for someone to understand, to _know _how I feel every single day. Taking a calming breath, I continued, my voice returning to normal. "I never hurt Lissa, that's why it's easier to talk to her and be close to her. I don't owe her for anything except saving me. That is my only debt. The debt I owe Rose . . . I can never make up for what I did nor can I ever repay her for all she did to ensure Vasilisa was able to bring me back. It really is just too much to repay. It's impossible." I finished flatly.

"You'll figure it out, you know?"Sydney said softly. "There will be a way to make it up to her. Just by being here, helping, you are taking a huge step toward giving back everything she gave you. You just haven't realised it yet." With that, Sydney fell silent, leaving me to ponder her words. Was I giving back to Rose? I had myself convinced that this was all for Lissa, because she asked me to do this and I had vouched to do anything she asked of me. But perhaps there was a small part of me that was endeavouring for redemption . . . I couldn't be sure. With a sigh, I leant back against the seat and allowed my eyes to shut, although I didn't sleep. I had to stay on guard.

Rose opened her eyes as we neared West Virginia. It really was very pretty, although it was hard to see as it was now dark.

After a long drive we eventually arrived in a small town. We passed a Diner and one set of traffic lights. Abe didn't do things by half. It really was the safest place he could have found for his fugitive daughter. Sydney drove the car to a small shabby hotel, simply labelled HOTEL.

Rose and I hung back at the desk while Sydney checked us in under fake identities. I was glad the tired looking desk clerk didn't ask for any ID. We walked down the hall for a bit and then Sydney came to a halt in front of a room.

"We're not all staying together?" Rose asked.

ʺHey, if you guys get caught, I don't want to be anywhere near you. I'll still be nearby though'ʺ Sydney said with a smile.

Rose's eyes seemed to widen in realisation as she eyed me warily. "We're sharing a room?" she asked uncertainly. I, too, had realised this, and could feel the slight discomfort creeping up on me. I hadn't shared a room with Rose since we were in Russia. And then it had been about power on my part.

Sydney appeared to be very oblivious to the awkward situation she had put us in, as she shrugged and turned to her room. "All the better to defend yourselves." She left abruptly.

Rose and I locked gazes for a moment before we both entered through the door. Very much like the rest of the hotel, the room was far from fancy, but for what we wanted, it was perfect.

Rose surveyed the room as I locked the door with a _click_and then retired to the lone chair in the room. I was exhausted, but still managed to remain on guard and vigilant. Rose sat down on the edge of the bed and faced me.

"So what now?"

"Now we wait." I said simply.

"For what?" she asked, eyebrows furrowed.

ʺFor Lissa and the others to clear your name and find out who killed the queen.ʺ Obviously.

I watched Rose carefully for a reaction. She was fighting the urge to burst out in anger. As much as I had tried to help her control her anger, her control was still far from perfect, but it was an improvement from the spontaneous, act-before-I-think girl I met merely months ago.

ʺWhat are _we_going to do?ʺ she demanded. ʺHow are we going to help them?ʺ And there was the outburst I had been waiting for. To be honest, I was proud that she held it in for so long.

I sighed. ʺWe told you earlier: You can hardly go looking for clues at Court. You need to stay away. You need to stay safe.ʺ

Rose's eyes almost popped out of her head as she gestured around the boring room, her mouth agape. ʺWhat, and this is it? This is where youʹre stashing me? I thought . . . I thought there was something here. Something to help.ʺ

"It is helping," I said calmly. ʺSydney and Abe researched this place and decided it was out of the way enough to avoid detection.ʺ

Rose shot up from her position on the old bed. ʺOkay, comrade. There's one serious problem here with your logic. You guys keep acting like me staying out of the way is _helping_.ʺ

ʺWhat′s a serious problem is us repeating this conversation over and over. The answers to who murdered Tatiana are at Court, and that's where your friends are. They'll figure this out.ʺ This conversation was beginning to go round and round in circles; Rose asking what we're doing, me constantly repeating myself. I may as well have been talking to a brick wall for all the progress we were making.

ʺI didn't just get in a high-speed chase and jump state lines to hole up in some crappy motel! How long are you planning on 'staying out of the wayʹ here?ʺ She shot back.

I crossed my arms over my chest and breathed in a deep breath. ʺAs long as it takes. We have the funds to stay here indefinitely.ʺ I muttered. Gosh, I was so tired.

ʺI probably have enough spare change in my pocket to stay here indefinitely!" That probably wasn't too far a stretch of reality. This hotel wasn't expensive to stay in. "But it's not happening. I have to do something. I won't just take the easy way out and sit around.ʺ

ʺSurviving isn't as easy as you think.ʺ I growled, my frustration building. I didn't normally lose my temper with Rose, but I was getting tired and as much as I said it, staying holed up in this hotel was going to kill me. I truly was a hypocrite.

Oh God,ʺ Rose cried out, her voice portraying frustration as well. ʺYou've been hanging out with Abe, haven't you? You know, when you were a Strigoi, you told me to stay away from him. Maybe you should take your own advice.ʺ I flinched visibly at her words. Every single day, I regretted everything I ever did as a Strigoi. There was nothing to be proud of when your 'life' revolved around being a terrifying, murderer. That's all Strigoi were, murderers, heartless murderers. As much as I tried to keep up the façade, I knew that Rose, more than anyone, could see right through it. Just as I could see her emotions and feelings as though they were painted in florescent pink on a banner and strung from the roof. It was just so easy for me. Even Lissa, her best friend, didn't understand her in the same way I did.

Regret flashed across Rose's face. ʺI'm sorry,ʺ she said. ʺI didn't mean—ʺ

ʺWe're done discussing this,ʺ I said harshly, turning my anguish into anger. ʺLissa says we're staying here, so we're staying here.ʺ

The guilt that filled her eyes moments before vanished, replaced again by irritation. ʺ_That′s_why youʹre doing this? Because Lissa told you to?ʺ

ʺOf course. I swore I'd serve and help her.ʺ I said simply.

Something inside Rose snapped, and any control she was exercising evaporated into thin air in an instant. ʺForget it,ʺ Rose growled. ʺI am _not_staying here.ʺ she snapped.

She had made it to the door before I finally reacted. It was poor reaction time on my part. It was because I was exhausted. I flew out of my chair with lightening speed and grabbed Rose, throwing her against the wall. I pushed aside the brief flare of guilt. I wasn't supposed to manhandle my own kind. And I felt even worse treating Rose like this. ʺYou _are_staying here,ʺ I said evenly, hands gripping Rose's wrists in a tight grip. So tight in fact, that a pink line was forming around her arm. ʺWhether you like it or not.ʺ

As I held her, I watched the conflicting emotions flash across her face. I could almost see the crazy ideas and schemes flickering through her mind as she figured out which would best suit her achieving her end goal. I was too busy getting lost in her eyes that I wasn't prepared when she finally made her decision on which plan to go with.

She kneed me in the stomach – hard. She caught me off guard, causing me to falter momentarily in shock and a flare-up of pain in my gut. My laps in reaction gave Rose just enough time to slip out of my loosened grip and grab a hold of the bold on the door before I came around to myself and respond to her actions. Once again I had a tight clutch on Rose. I threw her down on the bed face first forcefully, but not hard enough to cause her any harm. I held her down with my own body making sure to hold her arms and legs in place in case she decided to lash out again. Despite my weight crushing her, Rose still managed to wriggle, just not enough to get out from underneath me.

I leaned down close to her ear, "Stop this," I breathed, my lips not an inch from her ear. ʺBe reasonable for once. You can't get past me.ʺ I felt her shudder involuntarily beneath me.

ʺI'm not the one being unreasonable,ʺ she spat, attempting to turn her face toward my own. ʺYouʹre the one caught up in some noble promise that makes no sense. And I know you don't like to sit out of the action any more than I do. Help me. Help me find the murderer and do something useful.ʺ Rose stopped squirming. I hoped that our argument had distracted her enough to forget that she was still being held captive.

ʺI don't like sitting around, but I also don't like rushing into an impossible situation!ʺ I growled back, my frustration and anger boiling hot just beneath the surface of my exterior.

ʺImpossible situations are our specialty,ʺ Rose noted dryly. She glanced down at her wrists where I had them pinned against her sides. I hadn't relaxed my hold on her one bit. I wasn't the type to get distracted so easily.

Suddenly Rose lashed out again, but this time I was ready. I held her down tighter, throwing almost all of my weight behind it. All Rose managed to do was flip herself over so we were now face to face. I warily found myself aware of how close we were. I hadn't been this close to Rose since... I pushed the flood of images of the cabin out of my mind. It didn't do well to dwell on the past. That's what my mother had always told me – live in the moment, not the past.

ʺOne day,ʺ I said quietly. ʺYou can't even wait one day?ʺ It never ceased to amaze and irritate me at how impatient she truly was.

ʺMaybe if we'd gone to a nicer hotel. With cable.ʺ

I gritted my teeth. ʺThis is no time for jokes, Rose.ʺ I said warningly.

ʺThen let me do something. Anything.ʺ She was pleading with me now.

ʺI. Can't.ʺ the words actually pained me to speak and I felt agonized. One of the many things Rose and I had in common was our desire to get out there and do something. It was taking all of my self control to not give in and go on some suicide mission with her. In the end, it was the memory of my promise to Lissa to protect Rose if it killed me. Rose's safety was the only thing keeping me here in this small, cramped hotel room.

As I stared into Rose's liquid chocolate eyes, I could see that she understood that we both felt exactly the same. We both craved being in the thick of the action, both felt the need to always protect the ones we loved and cherished.

Something in Rose's eyes changed and in a split second, she had moved her face closer to mine and crushed her lips to my own. Once again, I was caught completely by surprise. My body froze, shocked. The last time I had kissed Rose was as a Strigoi, but for me, those kisses and touches meant nothing then. I didn't _feel_the love I once held for her. Possessiveness and power had been the main emotions flowing through my un-dead body as a dark creature of the night.

But now, I could feel the old sparks of electricity between us as I found myself kissing her back, relishing in the feel of her soft, warm lips on mine and the jolt of electricity that ran through me when we touched. Was it possible that I still had feelings for this goddess? Before I even had a second to process my thoughts, Rose's fist collided with the side of my face. It took Rose not a second to shove my astonished body off of her, and within a couple of seconds she was out the door, slamming it behind her.

"Shit," I swore, tearing off after her. I opened the door and immediately smashed straight into a cleaning cart. Another obscenity escaped my lips. I quickly thrust the cart out of my way and ran down the stairs just as I heard Rose yell to the receptionist; "There's a guy chasing me!" _Great, just great_. I thought to myself. That was all I needed. I wasn't too worried about the guy at reception being a problem; I knew if he tried to catch me, I could easily overthrow him in less than a second.

As I rushed through the lobby area, the receptionist called out to me, but I didn't spare him a second glance. Running out onto the darkened and deserted street, I came to a halt. I had to think about where Rose would go – which way she would head. I looked around the mountain streets and decided that Rose would most definitely _not_go into town. She knew that would be too easy a place to be found in. Instead, I opted for the woods.

I fought my way into the thick wooded land. It was really dark, even with my enhanced vision, it was still a little difficult to see clearly. I allowed myself a couple of seconds for my eyes to adjust to the engulfing darkness before I started walking at a quick pace through the trees and underbrush.

I knew I would find Rose eventually, I would just prefer it to be sooner rather than later – she was a fugitive after all.

Every ten minutes or so, I would stop and listen for any sounds that would indicate someone being nearby. All I could hear though was the sound of my own breathing and that of the occasional scurrying of some animal across the forest floor.

Finally, after almost an hour, I heard the sound I had been waiting for – the sound of footsteps only a person in a hurry could make. I slowed my pace, making my steps quieter. It wouldn't to any good if she knew I was around, that would only give her enough warning to hightail it out of there. No, I needed the element of surprise here. For once that night, I had to be the one to catch _her_off guard rather than it be the other way around again.

Eventually I rounded a large sycamore tree and saw her. Just over a hundred yards ahead, Rose was walking, head bent down, hands stuffed in her jacket pockets. I steeled myself, and started running after her. She didn't notice me until I had slammed into her body, causing us both to come crashing to the hard ground.

"Oomph," she grunted.

Using my weigh once again, I held her down. I could see the cuts on her hands and face – cuts that I had just caused. I swallowed my guilt. They were just scratches, they would be gone in a day or two.

I leaned down over her. ʺYou should have just hidden in town,ʺ I said, slightly amused at how easy it had been to find her. ʺIt would have been the last place I looked. Instead, I knew exactly where you'd go.ʺ

ʺWhatever. Don't act so smart,ʺ She said through gritted teeth, trying to break out of my firm hold.

ʺYou made a lucky guess, that's all.ʺ

ʺI don't need luck, Roza," I smirked. "I'll always find you. So, really it's up to you how difficult you want this situation to be. ʺWe can do this over and over, or you can do the reasonable thing and just stay put with Sydney and me.ʺ

"It's not reasonable!" her voice was one of contempt. "It's wasteful!"

ʺHow many times do I have to explain the logic behind what we're doing?ʺ I couldn't keep the exasperation from seeping into my voice. I was hot, tired and annoyed. Normally, I would never be one to complain or lose my temper, but I really just wished I could be at home with one of my westerns. I loved the western world, all the rules were clear and you were either hated or loved. No in-betweens. And there was just something about the free lifestyle that I sometimes wished I could be the one to have the privilege of having.

ʺUntil you give up.ʺ Rose brought be out of my thoughts as she pushed against my chest with her body, trying to free herself. Unfortunately all it did was bring our bodies closer together. I had to fight hard against the stirring feelings burning within me – feelings that I didn't yet understand.

I pulled Rose to her feet, still keeping her hands pinned securely behind her back.

ʺI am _not_letting you and Sydney risk getting in trouble with me. I'll take care of myself, so just let me go!ʺ she was resisting walking, so I just tightened my grip on her hands and all but dragged her. Being the difficult person she had always been, Rose stuck out her leg to snag her foot around a slender tree trunk, bringing us to a standstill.

I groaned aloud and readjusted my grip in order to bring her away from the tree. Doing this almost provided her with an escape opportunity, but I quickly readjusted my hold on her again and walked closely against her.

"Rose," I sighed wearily. "You can't win."

"How's your face feeling?ʺ Rose asked rhetorically. To be honest, I could feel the throbbing of the beginning of a bruise.

I began to pull her along again. Rose continued to make it excruciatingly difficult and annoying by letting herself fall heavy and limp against my side.

ʺI'm seconds away from just tossing you over my shoulder,ʺ I growled.

ʺI'd like to see you try.ʺ Rose retorted. I rolled my eyes.

ʺHow do you think Lissa would feel if you got killed?ʺ _How do you think _I _would feel if you got killed? _ I shuddered to think of anything bad happening to Rose. She didn't deserve to be put through anymore pain and suffering. My grip on her tightened to a point where I suspected I was starting to pinch her skin. ʺCan you imagine what it would do to her if she lost you?ʺ _If I lost you?_ A little voice in the back of my head continued. I pushed it aside.

Rose was silent for a few moments as she pondered over my words. She tilted her head back to look at me. ʺHave a little faith, comrade. I won't get killed,ʺ Her lips formed a stubborn line of perpetuance. ʺI'll stay alive.ʺ

I exhaled noisily in frustration. ʺThere are other ways to help her than whatever insanity youʹre thinking of.ʺ I snapped.

I stumbled when Rose went limp in my arms, bearing all her weight on me. ʺWhat's wrong?ʺ I asked in suspicion.

Rose didn't say anything, instead she stared off into the darkness of the forest. Finally she murmured quietly; ʺYou′re right,ʺ

I furrowed my brow, confused. ʺRight about . . . ?ʺ I asked

ʺRushing back to Court won't help Lissa.ʺ This shocked me. Rose was hardly ever rational, and rarely ever agreed to reasonable ideas.

ʺI'll go back to the motel with you, and I won't go running off to Court.ʺ More shock hit me. I remained silent, waiting for her to continue.

I heard her intake of breath. ʺBut, I'm not going to sit around and do nothing. I _am_going to do something for Lissa—and you and Sydney are going to help me.ʺ

I let out a sigh, wondering what she could possibly have in store for us. Knowing Rose as well as I did, it was probably going to be some insanely dangerous scheme that could potentially get us all killed.

The only way I was going to find out was to wait and see. I resolved myself for the wait as we ventured back out onto the main road.

**Please, I implore you, let me know if you enjoyed it. Original readers should be able to pick up on the new text in the story ! **

**Critical feedback is welcomed. **

**~Bronte.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 all edited and improved. **

**NOTE: there was an issue with the previous replacement with the character's names coming up as 'I' for some reason. I put this down to a glitch with my auto correct as I have their names down for autocorrect to capitalize the first letter. Sorry for the inconvenience.**

**I also received a PM from a reader pointing out spelling mistakes. I'd just like to point out that they aren't spelling mistakes – just Australian English. I am trying to keep it American English, but force of habit makes me return to the way I was always taught to spell. Sorry for the confusion, though, and I will try harder to ensure that I stick to American English. **

**Once again, thank you all for your continued support. It means the world to me !**

**Read and Review !**

**Chapter 4 – A New Idea. **

As Rose and I emerged from the thick of the trees, all that was visible around the motel ahead was flashing blue and red lights, police officers and bystanders trying to get a closer look at the action.

"Shit," I swore under my breath. _Well done, Rose, _I thought sarcastically. This was just what we wanted to avoid – attention!

"The whole town turned out," Rose said incredulously.

I sighed. ʺYou just had to say something to the desk clerk, didn't you?ʺ I asked exasperatedly.

I tugged Rose to a standstill in the shadows of an old abandoned building. She worried her bottom lip with her teeth. "I thought it would slow you down." She said uncertainly, obviously now regretting her rash actions. I had no idea how Sydney got out, but her car was missing, so I guessed she hadn't gone too far. She would not have left us.

Shaking my head I said in a resigned voice; "It's going to slow us down now." Out of instinct, I swept a glance across the scene surrounding the motel, pin pointing the details that were of importance. This was an automatic thing to do for me. It had been drilled into my brain since I was a child. "Sydney's car is gone," I noted with gratitude. "That's something, at least." I muttered. There were not many positives I could pull out of this. Rose had just put us back to square one within a matter of hours. She couldn't even last _one _day. Frustration pulsed undiluted through me and it took an effort not to snap at Rose. Getting angry would not do any good now. We didn't have time for arguments.

Rose's eyes widened. ʺIs it? We just lost our ride!ʺ she whined. I ignored her attitude.

"She wouldn't leave us, but she was smart enough to get out before the police came knocking on her door." I looked around the road. Come on. She has to be close, and there's a good chance the police might actually start searching around if they thought some defenceless girl was being chased down.ʺ I added derision to the word _defenceless. _Rose was the furthest thing from being incapable of looking after herself.

I made the decision to take the road that lead into town. I assumed Sydney would have gone this way, being that it was the only way to get out of the area, and we needed to get out of here now that Rose had stuffed up this part of our plan.

About a half-mile outside of town, we spotted a CR-V pulled off on the road's shoulder. I didn't need any lights to be able to identify the Louisiana licence plate as Sydney's.

Rose sauntered past me and tapped lightly on the driver's side door. Sydney visibly flinched inside the car. She wound down the window, her expression mixed with anger and worry, which faded into one of relief, but her anger was loud and clear on her face.

"What did you do?" She snapped angrily. I wasn't the only one who was annoyed with Rose's spur of the moment decisions. I had frequently witnessed her daring actions back at St. Vladimir's Academy. Back at school, those things could be dismissed as she generally didn't endanger anyone's life, but now, however, we couldn't afford slip ups – not when we were being hunted by armed guardians. "Never mind. Don't bother. Just get in.ʺ

Rose ducked her head in shame as she and I complied with Sydney's orders. Sydney started the car's engine without another word to either of us and drove the car back in the direction we had originally come from. I assumed we were going to stop soon and figure out where to go next, and, hopefully, hear Rose's newfound idea.

Three for four miles down the road, Sydney slowed the car to a stop at the corner of an intersection. She turned off the motor and turned around to confront Rose in the backseat.

"You ran, didn't you?" She raised an eyebrow at her.

"Yeah, but I got this—" Rose began.

Sydney cut her off by holding up her hand. "No, don't. Not yet. I wish you could have pulled off your daring escape without attracting the authorities." she said with a note of annoyance in her voice.

"Me too," I agreed.

Rose's face went mildly contorted. "Hey, I came back, didn't I?" I looked at her, one eyebrow arched. _Like she had come voluntarily_, I thought. Rose shied away from my steady gaze. She knew exactly what my look conveyed. I vowed that from now on, I would do absolutely anything with my power to ensure that she didn't do anything else that was classified as life-threatening.

"And now I know what we have to do to help Lissa." I sighed and resigned myself to the fact that we were going to have to hear her out. She wouldn't rest until we all knew exactly what her new idea was. Although I was curious, I also knew that it would most likely be dangerous. Everything we did lately seemed to be dangerous, not to mention, completely stupid and irrational.

I said; "What we have to do is find a safe place to stay."

"Just go back to civilization and pick a hotel. One with room service. We can make that our base of operation while we work on the next plan." Rose insisted.

"We researched that town specifically!" I exclaimed. "We can't go to some random place—at least not nearby. I doubt they took down my plates, but they could put out a call to look for this kind of car. If they've got that and our descriptions, and if gets to the state police, it'll get to the Alchemists and then it'll—" I cut Sydney's frantic rambling. She was getting more and more agitated by the second.

"Calm down," I said softly, touching her arm. The touch was not one of intimacy, but in the rear view mirror, I saw something flash in Rose's eyes – jealousy, perhaps – I did not know for sure. "We don't know that any of that's going to happen. Why don't you just call Abe?" I suggested gently. For some reason, I felt an oddly protective feeling toward Sydney. It wasn't anything intimate, but more of a brother's affection for his younger sister. I realized, with a pang of pain, why this feeling was so familiar yet old. It was how I felt guarding Ivan Zeklos before he had been killed. I had dedicated my life to him, considering him as more than a Moroi I guarded, but as a brother. That was how I felt about Sydney. I liked Sydney, despite her stand-offish nature around us – me in particular – and felt the need to protect her and keep her safe out of harm's way. It had been ingrained into my mind since I was a little kid – _they come first. _Although Sydney was by no means a Moroi, she was still the most vulnerable of our little group. I felt the need to protect her. She was, after all just an innocent Alchemist who had been dragged here to go on the run with a couple of fugitives.

Sydney's face fell and she murmured; "Yeah," she mumbled, ashamed. "That's exactly what I want. To tell him I messed up the plan in less than twenty-four hours.ʺ I kind of wanted to comfort her. _She _hadn't messed it up. Rose, on the other hand, with her impulsive nature, had thwarted this well laid out plan to keep her safe and off the radar of anyone in our world. Once again, I felt the now all too familiar spark of frustration with Rose. It was becoming more and more frequent. I just wished that she would listen to what people told her to do. We only wanted to keep her safe and alive. She was making my job a hell of a lot harder than it should have been. I felt like I had let Lissa down. Her note had said _"Don't do anything that could get yourselves killed." _I let out a frustrated sigh. I really needed to sleep. Maybe then I wouldn't be so on edge and about to break.

"Well," Rose said in a bright tone. "If it makes you feel better, the plan's about to change anyway—"

ʺBe quiet,ʺ Sydney's abashed expression vanished as soon as Rose opened her mouth and was replaced by one of clear annoyance. ʺBoth of you. I need to think.ʺ

Rose caught my eye, but nothing was said about Sydney's bitterness. I was burning to ask Rose how she intended to help Lissa whilst thousands of miles away from Court, but I just had to wait until Sydney was ready to calm down and listen too.

I watched as Sydney pulled out a map of the Virginia. She stared fixedly at the many towns and cities dotted around the state. Finally she folded it back up and faced the front of the car – out the windshield. She pressed her lips together in a thin line, a frown of concentration forming above her green eyes.

Eventually she let out a breath and started the car. She switched the GPS on and programmed in a location; _Altswood, West Virginia. _What was in Altswood? I thought.

As if reading my mind, like she so often seemed to be able to do, Rose voiced that very question.

"Nothing," Sydney said simply, some of her earlier frustration evaporating as she pulled the car back out onto the stretch of road. . ʺBut it's the closest place to where we're going that the GPS can find.ʺ I furrowed my brow, but didn't ask questions. I got the impression that Sydney didn't like to talk to me much.

Instead I turned to Rose. ʺSo what's going on with Lissa? What's this great plan of yours?ʺ I looked at Sydney. ʺRose says there's something important we have to do.ʺ

She bit down on her lip and raised an eyebrow. "So I gathered," she said dryly.

I looked back at Rose expectantly. "Well, what is this fantastic new plan you have?" I asked rather sceptically. Who knew what she had devised and considered to be a better idea than staying out of trouble and away from the guardians?

ʺSo, it, um, turns out I has a brother or sister. And I think we should find them.ʺ I was taken aback. There was no way Lissa could possibly have some long lost sibling. Being from a high-profile family like the Dragomirs, a secret like that would have been next to impossible to keep in amongst the Moroi community.

Rose pulled out a piece of paper with elegant script swirling across the page. She read it aloud for Sydney and myself. What she said last just about shocked both Sydney and I to our cores.

"Signed, Tatiana Ivashkov," Rose folded the note with a flourish and looked at us expectantly.

"You have no proof that Tatiana wrote that note." I pointed out, a thousand thoughts running through my mind. Could it be true? _Was _there another Dragomir somewhere out there and we just had no idea about it until now? As much as I wanted to do something that involved actually helping, much like Rose did, I was still unsure. Rose receiving a letter from our dead queen whilst she was also being pursued for Tatiana's death seemed extremely suspicious and ironically timely. Everything and everyone was suspicious as far as I was concerned.

ʺThe Alchemists have no records of another Dragomir,ʺ said Sydney, confirming my thoughts that there was no way there would be some illegitimate Dragomir child. The Alchemists had records of all Moroi and dhampirs, to keep track of us.

ʺI don't really see why Tatiana's spirit would want to deceive me,ʺ Rose argued. ʺAnd the Alchemists aren't all-knowing. The note says this is a pretty heavily guarded secret from Moroi — it makes sense it would be secret from the Alchemists too.ʺ I frowned, deep in thought. I didn't really believe that this was true, but the thought that there was a slim chance that it _was _in fact true, made me want to pursue it. First though, I had to voice my other thought.

ʺYou've said before that it's not always clear what the ghosts are trying to say. Maybe you misread her."

ʺI don't know . . . ʺ Rose trailed off thoughtfully, a small crease forming between her deep chocolate eyes. ʺI think she did write this note. My gut says she did.ʺ The small frown deepened as she scrutinised me. ʺYou know it's been right before. Can you trust me on this?ʺ It was true, her first instincts were generally the ones I would go for. Rose was a very intelligent person, and this was no exception. I sighed, resigned to the fact that we would have to break my promise to Lissa to keep Rose out of harm's way. Chances were, this would get messy – and dangerous.

ʺBut if we decided to search for this alleged sibling, we'd be going against Lissa's instructions to stay put.ʺ I worried my bottom lip as I thought.

ʺYou believe that note?ʺ exclaimed Sydney incredulously. ʺYouʹre _considering _listening to it?ʺ

ʺTechnically, yes. But if we could actually prove she wasn't the last in her family, it would help her a lot. We can't ignore the chance, and if you manage to keep me out of trouble while we do it then there shouldn't be a problem.ʺ _Much easier said than done, Rose, _I thought warily. If anything happened to her, Lissa would kill me, literally – and I would probably let her do it. As much as I had pushed Rose away over the past few weeks, I couldn't deny that I wouldn't be crippled with grief if anything happened to her. She was too strong to be taken down. Rose had often said that she regarded me as a God of sorts – why, I had no idea – but this belief led her to believe that I was impenetrable, that I could never be hurt. Of course, we now knew that I was _not _indestructible. The way she regarded me was ludicrous, but I believed whole heartedly that _she _was the incredibly brave and strong one of the two of us. Not many people would have the nerve to travel across the globe in search of the very monster who wanted to kill them. _That_ was bravery.

I toyed with the platinum band hanging around my wrist. _Bravery, _it read. But was I really brave? I didn't feel it, which was for sure. But I hoped, with all the hope I had within me, that I would someday feel the bravery that I had felt before all of this turmoil. I shook my head to free myself from my current train of thought. I had never been one to get lost in thought, but now . . . well, a lot about me had changed.

ʺOkay,ʺ I said with an air of finality. Once I committed myself to something, I stuck to it like a magnet to the fridge. ʺBut where do we start? You have no other clues, aside from a mysterious note.ʺ I pointed to the folded note still clutched in Rose's hands.

"Obviously this is a secret," Rose said slowly. _A huge secret, in fact, since no one had ever heard of it until now. _ʺA big one," _It was as if she could read my mind like an open book._ "One people have apparently wanted to cover up—enough that they'd try to steal records about it and keep the Dragomirs out of power.ʺ I had never thought about it that way. Most of the time Rose and I were on the same wavelength, but there were times, like this, when she thought about things more abstractly. I smiled a little ruefully. _And so the student surpasses the teacher. _

"This woman that Eric Dragomir was funding would most likely have been the child's mother." Rose said to myself and Sydney. ʺYou could look into that case some more.ʺ She turned to Sydney now.

ʺWhoa, hey. How was I not even part of this decision process?ʺ Sydney cried out. For a moment, I had almost forgotten that the Alchemist was part of this. I noticed that whenever I was with Rose, I seemed to be completely oblivious to those around me. I couldn't work out why. Was I still affected by her presence? I shook off the thought. _I have no feelings for I anymore, they died with my soul._

ʺMaybe breaking Lissa's orders is no big deal for you two, but _I'd _be going against Abe. He might not be so lenient.ʺ Sydney looked more than slightly worried about Abe. He _was _pretty scary.

ʺI'll pull in a daughterly favour,ʺ Rose comforted her. ʺBesides, the old man _loves _secrets. He'd be into this, believe me. And you've already found the biggest clue of all. I mean, if Eric was giving money to some anonymous woman, then why wouldn't it be for his secret mistress and child?ʺ I still had a hard time processing the reality that Eric Dragomir may have another child out there somewhere.

ʺAnonymous is the key word,ʺ Sydney said dryly. ʺIf your theory's right—and it's kind of a leap — we still have no idea who this mistress is. The stolen documents didn't say.ʺ

ʺAre there other records that tie into the stolen ones? Or could you investigate the bank he was sending money to?ʺ Rose asked.

ʺYou really have no idea how 'researching recordsʹ works, do you? It's not that easy,ʺ she sighed in a tired way. I knew exactly how she felt. It had been a while since any of us had slept and the last day's events had had a big emotional effect on all of us. ʺIt could take a while.ʺ

ʺWell . . . I guess that's why it's good we're going somewhere, um, secure, right?ʺ Rose's question brought forward the knowledge that I had no idea where we were going to be stopping. I rested my head back against the headrest – fighting back the impending fatigue.

"Secure..." Sydney muttered, shaking her head. ʺWell, we'll see. I hope I'm not doing something stupid.ʺ _So do I_, I thought grimly. We couldn't afford to be caught. If we were caught, there was no way Rose and I would walk away alive. Sydney would be dealt with by her colleagues. Silence fell in the car and I glanced back at Rose. Her eyes were closed, but she wasn't sleeping. No, she was with Lissa. I looked at the GPS. It told me that we still had just over an hour before we arrived at our destination – wherever that was.

I settled back into my seat, attempting to relax the tense muscles in my back. Sydney looked over at me. "Why don't you go to sleep?"

I shook my head. "I don't want to. If something happens, I need to be awake and ready. You need to be protected."

She looked sceptical as she pursed her lips into a thin line. If I wasn't mistaken, I could have sworn I saw a fleeting look of annoyance and disapproval flash across her features. "Nothing is going to happen in the car. And how much help would you be if you're so tired you can hardly keep your eyes open?" Sydney asked rhetorically.

I shook my head once again. "I. Can't." Even I could hear the almost agonised and desperate tone in my voice. I heard it as well.

"Why not?" she asked gently.

I sighed. Why did I feel so comfortable talking to Sydney about these things when I couldn't even bring myself to tell Rose? I knew the answer of course. I hadn't terrorised Sydney, therefore I had nothing to fear from telling her. She could judge sure, but I was used to judging gazes. I judged myself. "I just... I see things when I sleep. _Horrible _things." I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to banish the images pushing their way into my mind.

"From before?"

I just nodded.

Sydney, sensing that I wouldn't – couldn't – say anymore on the matter, let it drop and changed the subject. "How does I sleep sitting up like that?" I looked behind my seat. Rose was sitting straight in her seat, face the picture of calm.

"She's not sleeping." Syndye looked at me weirdly, and then realisation came over her.

"Oh, she's with Vasilisa." She said nodding.

"Lissa," I corrected automatically, knowing how much Lissa hated to be addressed by her given name. She had needed to remind me of it dozens of times back at St. Vladimir's. "Yep, she will probably be like that until we get there. By the way, where are we staying?"

"I won't say just yet. I'm still thinking about it. This better not be a mistake though." She muttered.

I rested my head against the window and just relaxed, although I knew I would not sleep. Ever since I had changed back, I had been _haunted _by constant nightmares. Most of the things I saw were things that had actually happened. Biting Rose's neck, sucking the life out of her. Tormenting her. Abusing her. Holding her against her will. Threatening her. So many things that I had done wrong. I was sure I would never fully get over it.

After a while Sydney pulled the car over and got out her laptop. I shifted in my seat to peer at Rose. "Rose," I said softly as to not startle her back into the car. "Everything okay back there?" I already knew that Rose would know I was talking about how things were back at Court and not in the actual backseat. She just nodded.

"Where are we?" she asked curiously.

"Altswood." I told her.

ʺMakes our last town look like New York.ʺ she said with her eyebrows raised.

I ignored her. Sydney pulled the car out onto the road and continued. We passed a small, closed gas station and ventured deeper into the darkness. This small town was also set in the mountains. Sydney slowed the car to a crawl and we drove for a few minutes before she stopped the car and switched off the engine. There were other cars around, cars that were fairly run down and old.

"Are we at a campground?" Rose asked.

Sydney ignored her and instead turned to me. "Are you as good as they say you are?"

"What?" I asked, a little startled.

"Fighting," she said as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

I thought for a moment. Although I was out of practise, I knew I could still very easily hold my own. Rose could look after herself too, and between the two of us, we could protect Sydney from any danger.

"Pretty good." I ventured.

Rose snorted in derision from the backseat. "_Very _good." She emphasised the first word.

"I hope it's enough," Sydney said as she opened her door and slid out of the car.

"Aren't you going to ask about me?" Rose asked, slightly offended.

"I already know you're dangerous, I've seen it."

"Why'd we stop?" Rose asked.

"Because we have to go on foot now," Sydney turned on a flashlight and cast the beam of light around our surroundings. The light shined upon a snaking path ahead of us, although I didn't need the light to be able to make it out with my heightened eyesight.

"There," Sydney indicated to the path and began walking down it.

"Wait," I put my hand on her shoulder to halt her. Sydney flinched a little under my touch, and I quickly withdrew my hand, muttering an apology I wasn't sure she caught. I moved in front of her. Rose immediately took up the spot behind Rose. This was the standard guardian formation, only it was usually used when guarding Moroi, not an Alchemist. But the process worked the same – protect the ones who can't protect themselves.

I pulled my stake out of the leather sheath attached to my jeans. I saw Rose do the same as we proceeded in deeper into the wooded area. It was very dark, even with my stronger sight and the flashlight casting the path ahead in a soft glow.

"Where are we going?" I asked quietly.

"To people I guarantee won't turn you in." That left me with even more questions, and I was sure Rose had a ton more too. I held them back though. We had to just trust that Sydney knew what she was doing, and that this wouldn't get us killed.

Up ahead I caught the distinct sound of rustling of bushes. It was too loud a sound to have been caused by wild animals.

Out of the bushes came a hoard of strangers. Armed strangers. I took up a defensive stance.

**Thank you all for reading ! **

**Also, I plan on having all chapters updated and done by Friday of this week, and then hopefully a brand new chapter by Sunday, relying on everything going to plan this week.**

**~Bronte. **


	5. Chapter 5

_I am so proud of myself. Thats two chapters in less than 24 hours ! _

_Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns all. I do not in any way profit from this story. All rights belong to Richelle Mead. No copyright infringement is intended. _

_Enjoy this chapter, I have cramps in my hand from typing :(_

Chapter 5.

Upon closer inspection, I was able to safely say that they were Moroi and dhampirs and not Strigoi. I looked around in confusion. Of all the places we could have gone, and Sydney brings us to all these Moroi. But she had said that she could guarantee they won't turn us in. I was finding it hard to trust her on that one. I held my stance with my silver stake clasped firmly in my hand. I was ready for attack. But none came.

Among them were a number of fire users who were lighting the path with the balls of flame in their hands.

The closest man to us, I suspected he was the leader of this group, stepped forward. I tightened my grip on my stake. Moroi would be easy to deal with if it came down to a fight, but the dhampirs looked fierce and like they could give us a challenge.

The man's sharp eyes roamed over our small group. His stare came to a rest on Sydney. He reached out to grab her and I instinctively moved to protect her.

"Wait," Sydney said. I pulled back to give them room but so that I was still close enough to strike out if need be.

Moving his hand up to her face, the man jerked Sydney's face to the side to give him a better view of the golden lily tattoo on her cheek.

"Lily-girl," he muttered to the others around him. His companions relaxed a little at his words.

"Your here to join us?" the Moroi leader directed his words as Rose and myself.

"We need shelter," Sydney said quietly. "They're being chased by tainted." The tainted? I frowned. It sounded as though she were referring to the people back at Court who were after me and Rose.

"More like spies for the tainted," one woman remarked cynically.

"The Tainted Queen is dead," Sydney replied. She gestured to Rose. "They think she did it." I winced at that. I knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt that Rose played no part in the assassination of Queen Tatiana.

The man did something unexpected then. He smiled. He actually smiled at the news the queen had been killed. And that the number one suspect was standing in front of him. "And so, another usurper passes it on. Is there a new one yet? He asked, examining Rose closely. He was probably wondering why Rose, a young, innocent looking woman would be assumed to be the murderer.

"No, they'll have the elections soon." Sydney told them.

"How else would they choose a new king or queen?" Rose asked when the group of nomadic Moroi and dhampirs looked aghast.

"In the true way. The way it used to be done long ago. In a battle to the death." A young dhampir said.

Without another word, the group turned and headed down the path. We followed at a distance behind. We emerged in a clearing where there appeared to be a very large camping ground with a huge campfire blazing in the middle. It looked like a village. I wanted to ask Sydney who these people were, and why they were in the middle of nowhere.

"What in God's name is all this?" I head Rose whisper to Sydney.

"The Keepers."

ʺKeepers? What does that mean?ʺ

ʺIt means,ʺ said man from before, ʺthat unlike your people, we still keep the old ways, the way we truly should.ʺ

"Why are they here, Raymond?" I looked around for the source of the question and was stunned to see a human woman looking our way. She looked perfectly normal and healthy. No bite marks along her neck, no dazed expression. She spoke without the drugged up slur that I had come to associate with humans around Moroi. This woman was not a feeder. "Are they joining us?

"No," Raymond said shaking his head. "The Tainted are after them for killing the Queen." Again with the Tainted thing. ʺWeʹre giving them refuge,ʺ

ʺAlthough, you _are _welcome to join us and live here. We have room in the caves.ʺ Raymond added. I saw Rose's face turn to one of horror and had to fight back a laugh. Rose roughing it in caves with no electricity or cable for the rest of her life? Would never happen. She couldn't even go an hour in the hotel where they actually had a T.V.

ʺWe only need to stay here . . .ʺ Sydney paused for a moment, thinking. We really had no plans on where to go next. We had absolutely no leads on this Dragomir child. We didn't even know the basics - age, gender. All there was to go on was a letter from the Queen. And even that wasn't much at all. ʺA couple days, probably.ʺ She looked over at me. I nodded. I didn't want to hang around for longer than was necessary. I didn't feel completely at ease with these people.

ʺYou can stay with my family," Raymond offered. ʺEven you.ʺ he said to Sydney who paled a little. If I didn't feel comfortable here, I couldn't even imagine how Sydney must be feeling being around all these Moroi and dhampirs – the people she was taught to hate.

"Thank you," Sydney said a little stiffly. ʺWeʹd be grateful to spend the night at your _house_.ʺ I frowned when she put emphasis on the last word until I saw her send a side glance at Rose. Then I realized that she had done it so Rose wouldn't go about calling it a cave. To these people they were their houses – their homes.

We were suddenly surrounded by people throwing questions our way about the death of 'The Tainted Queen'. The human woman sitting by the fire stood up and addressed the questioners. "Enough," she said firmly. Everyone quietened. "It's getting late, and I'm sure our guests are hungry." The gatherers back away as we moved along.

"I'm Sarah, by the way," the woman told us as Raymond said he'd see us later and walked away. There were still a few people milling around the clearing, but most had gone off to bed with the sunrise nearing. These people still ran on a nocturnal schedule.

ʺDid you bring us anything?ʺ Sarah asked Sydney.

She shook her head uncomfortably, not meeting Sarah's eye. "ʺNo, I'm just here to escort them." I wondered what that meant. The Alchemists obviously had some interaction with these different Moroi. Sarah seemed to have expected something from Sydney.

"An important task," the woman said sadly.

"How long has it been since my people brought you anything?" Sydney looked uneasy. I suddenly thought that maybe the alchemists supplied things for the Moroi and dhampirs who chose to live in this way rather than be a part of the community. I imagined it would be hard for them to get all the supplies they would need – especially when the town was very small. I doubted there was much of a grocery store around. In a community like this, they probably just ate what they could catch around the woods.

"A few months," Sarah told Sydney, who frowned, her expression darkening. I suspected she wasn't happy about this news.

Sarah led us into a house much bigger than any of the others we had seen the other clamber off to before. This was probably the leader – Raymond's home.

"You can sleep in the girls' room," she told us, pointing to a door.

"Thanks," Rose said, doing her best to sound like it was a good offer.

"Are you Raymond's housekeeper?" Rose asked. I closed my eyes, and pursed my lips. I resisted the urge to scold her for asking a rude question. I looked Sarah over. She wore a simple dress, and her long dirty blonde hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail. Even though her clothes were dirty and she had small smudges of dirt on her skin, she was quite pretty.

"I'm his wife," Sarah said softly, not taking offence to Rose's question. I, like Rose, was surprised. It was uncommon for Moroi to have intimate relationships with humans and actually stick around. Back in civilization, this would have been considered dirty and just plain wrong. But here, I suspected it didn't faze anyone.

"Oh," was Rose's genius response. I was actually quite proud that she had held her tongue and not said something that could have gotten us dragged off to the authorities. It was a mark of how much her self control had progressed since I had met her and began training her. If someone had said that to Rose a year ago, she probably would have said something offensive about it. But now she managed to keep her expression neutral and not make a scene.

The door opened behind me and Raymond reappeared with others with him. There was a dhampir boy upon his shoulders who looked around eight or nine, a young Moroi girl was close beside them and were followed by a Moroi woman who looked to be around my own age. Behind the woman came a dhampir boy about Rose's age or maybe a year or so older. I saw his gaze land on Rose instantly. His blue eyes raked over her body, and he made no attempt to hide that he liked what he saw. I felt a possessive growl lurking in my chest. I shoved it down. We were only going to be here for a couple of days, nothing to worry about.

Introductions were made. The young kids were Phil and Molly. The young woman was Paulette and the older guy was Raymond and Sarah's son, Joshua.

Sarah addressed Paulette, "I'm putting them in your room," she said. "The rest of you can share the loft." I looked over the loft. It was very small for that amount of people.

I stepped forward. "We donʹt want to inconvenience you,ʺ I said, speaking for the first time in a while. ʺWeʹll be fine out here.ʺ

"Don't worry about it," Joshua said, flashing Rose a smile. ʺWe donʹt mind. Angeline wonʹt either.ʺ I felt bad. There would be five of them in the loft.

"Who?" Rose asked.

"My sister." Joshua replied.

Before we could protest anymore about the sleeping arrangements, Sydney broke out. "Thank you. We appreciate it. And we really won't be staying long."

"Too bad," Joshua looked crestfallen as he looked again at Rose. He even gave Sydney an appreciative look.

"Stop flirting, Josh," Sarah scolded her son. . ʺDo you three want something to eat before bed? I could warm up some stew. We had it earlier with some of Pauletteʹs bread.ʺ she offered with a kind smile.

"No need," Rose said quickly. She looked a little worried about the food situation. "I'd just be fine with the bread."

"Me too," I said, not wanting to inconvenience them any further. We had already put them out of a room.

We retired to our room where we were served a full loaf of freshly baked bread and a bowl of butter that was definitely not the butter you get from the store. This was fresh churned butter.

Rose reached over and ran her fingers along the patterns of a quilt that looked handmade. "It looks like some of the designs I saw in Russia." Those designs she had probably seen in my own home in Baia. Every time Rose's time in Russia was mentioned around me, I winced internally. I hoped that one day she would get to go back and see it for its beauty and not for the killing mission she had been on before. In fact, I hoped I could go back and not be reminded of all the terrible crimes I committed. Hopefully it would become a place of sanctuary for me again and not the place of pain and sorrow.

I studied the patterns. "Similar. But not quite the same." These looked as though they had changed over time because there were some very similar patterns stitched into the material that I recognized from my home country, but it was accompanied by others that I had never seen go with it before.

"it's the evolution of the culture," Sydney said, confirming my theory. "Traditional Russian patterns brought over and eventually fused with a typical Americana patchwork quilt form.ʺ she said as though she had quoted it straight from a book. Sydney seemed the type to stick to the books.

"Um, good to know," Rose said slowly.

Rose lowered her voice. "Are you ready to explain who the hell these people are?" she demanded of Sydney.

"The Keepers," Sydney said as though that were an explanation in itself.

ʺYeah, I got that. And weʹre the Tainted. Sounds like a better name for Strigoi.ʺ

"No, ʺStrigoi are the Lost. Youʹre Tainted because you joined the modern world and left behind their backward ways for your own messed up customs.ʺ

ʺHey,ʺ Rose retorted. ʺWeʹre not the ones with overalls and banjos.ʺ

I sighed at her derogatory words. "Rose," I reprimanded. ʺBe careful. And besides, we only saw one person in overalls.ʺ Most of the Moroi and dhampirs had been wearing old beat up jeans and shirts and some of the women were wearing dresses.

ʺIf it makes you feel better,ʺ said Sydney, ʺI think your ways are better. Seeing humans mixing with all this . . . . ʺItʹs disgusting. No offense.ʺ she added. It wasn't offensive to us. The days when Moroi had openly mixed with humans were long over. Our kind frowned upon it.

"None taken," Rose said in a tone that suggested she agreed whole heartedly with Sydney. In a way, I also agreed with them, but I was more open to different ways of living than Rose was. ʺTrust me, I feel the same way. I canʹt believe . . . I canʹt believe they live like that.ʺ

ʺI like you guys sticking with your own kind better. Except . . .ʺ

"Except what?" Rose pushed.

ʺEven if the people you come from donʹt marry humans, you do still interact with them and live in their cities. These guys donʹt.ʺ

I ventured a guess. ʺWhich Alchemists prefer. You donʹt approve of this groupʹs customs, but you do like having them conveniently stashed out of mainstream society.ʺ I could see why the alchemists would like it this way better. In this case there was less interaction with Moroi and humans, where as in our own society we interacted with humans on a daily basis.

ʺThe more vampires who stay off on their own in the woods, the better—even if their lifestyle is crazy. These guys keep to themselves—and keep others out.ʺ Sydney said nodding.

"Through hostile means?" Rose asked.

"Hopefully not too hostile." She said not making eye contact with either of us. If it came to it, I was prepared to fight alongside Rose. We were good at fighting together. It helped when you knew each other so well.

"They let you through," I pointed out. They had indeed let us through without much hesitation. ʺThey know the Alchemists. Why did Sarah ask about you bringing them things?ʺ

ʺBecause thatʹs what we do,ʺ she said. ʺEvery so often for groups like these, we drop off supplies—food for everyone, medicine for the humans.ʺ Again, I heard that derision in her voice, but then she turned uneasy. ʺThe thing is, if Sarahʹs right, they could be due for an Alchemist visit. That would just be our luck to be here when that happens.ʺ she looked dubious.

ʺWait. You said 'groups like these.ʹ How many of these commune things are out there?ʺ Rose looked at me. ʺThis isnʹt like the Alchemists, is it? Something only some of you know about that youʹre keeping from the rest of us?ʺ

I shook my head, no. ʺIʹm as astonished by all of this as you are.ʺ I just hid my astonishment better than Rose did. I was more accomplished at keeping my emotions unknown to those around me. It was something that most guardians did. _But I'm not a guardian anymore. _I thought dejectedly.

ʺSome of your leaders probably know about the Keepers in a vague way,ʺ said Sydney. ʺBut no details. No locations. These guys hide themselves pretty well and can move on a momentʹs notice. They stay away from your people. They donʹt like your people.ʺ I wondered how many groups like these there were around. I couldn't imagine there would be many of them. I also wondered how anyone was able to find them, they were hidden so well from anyone in society and were very secret.

ʺWhich is why they wonʹt turn us in. And why theyʹre so excited I might have killed Tatiana. Thanks for that, by the way.ʺ Rose said sarcastically.

ʺIt gets us protection. Such as it is.ʺ She stifled a yawn. ʺBut for now? Iʹm exhausted. Iʹm not going to be able to follow anyoneʹs crazy plans—yours or Abeʹs—if I donʹt get some sleep.ʺ

I looked over at Rose who turned her attention to me. "Shifts?" she asked. We couldn't leave us unguarded with a hoard of vampires outside.

I nodded in agreement. "You go first and I'll – "

The door suddenly flung open. I was about to throw myself into a fight when I realized it was a young dhampir girl standing in to doorway.

ʺSo,ʺ she said. ʺYouʹre the big heroes taking my room.ʺ she spat at us.

ʺAngeline?ʺ Rose guessed. She looked like her brother, Joshua with the same build and the same piercing blue eyes.

"Yes," she sneered.

She turned her gaze to me and narrowed her eyes. She flicked her eyes back to Rose. ʺI donʹt believe it,ʺ she declared. ʺYouʹre too soft. Too prim.ʺ _huh? _No one had ever referred to Rose as being prim.

I saw a spark flash in Rose eyes. She was annoyed. "Looks are deceiving," she said stiffly.

ʺYes,ʺ Angeline said coolly with a raise of her eyebrow. ʺThey are.ʺ

ʺYou better not mess up my bed,ʺ she said grabbing clothes out of a chest of drawers.

ʺI donʹt care what you do to Pauletteʹs.ʺ she said to Sydney who was obviously sitting on Paulette's bed.

ʺIs Paulette your sister?ʺ Rose asked. I too was wondering how this family pieced together. I couldn't work out where Paulette and the little kids Phil and Molly fit in.

ʺOf course not,ʺ Angeline snapped as she stormed out the door, slamming it hard behind her. What a lovely girl, I thought.

Sydney yawned and stretched out on her bed. ʺPaulette is probably Raymondʹs . . . eh, I donʹt know. Mistress. Concubine.ʺ

My eyes widened. "What?ʺ Rose exclaimed. ʺLiving with his family?ʺ she asked incredulously. Even I thought that was wrong. Any affair is wrong.

ʺDonʹt ask me to explain it. I donʹt want to know any more about your twisted ways than I have to.ʺ

ʺItʹs not _my _way,ʺ Rose said dumbstruck.

Sarah came in a few minutes later.

"I'm so sorry for Angeline," she apologized. "She's not usually like that," I doubted that but thanked her for the food anyway and bid her goodnight.

She left, closing the door in a very different manner to the way her daughter had previously. Rose and I worked out sleeping shifts.

"I'll take first watch," I told her. "You get some sleep." I let my gaze rest on her face. Dark circled had appeared under her brown eyes, and she looked dead tired. Rose slipped off her shoes and slid into Angeline's, snuggling down under the blankets.

I set myself up against the back wall of the room, about a foot from where Rose lay. Rose's breathing became lighter as she slipped into a deep, much needed sleep, her face more peaceful than I had seen her since before the attack on St. Vladimir's.

Not expecting any attack, I relaxed against the wall to wait out my shift.

_So, I was going to keep going, but I thought I'd cut it there and give you another chapter quickly. The next chapter is my favourite in the whole book and I hope to do it justice. It's chapter 11 of last sacrifice when Rose and Dimitri are in the library looking at the world book. By far the best chapter :) so I will most likely get started on that one either later tonight or tomorrow after school. _

_Reviews :)_


	6. Chapter 6

_I need to ask this, is anyone actually enjoying reading this? Because the lack of reviews suggests that you're not, and it makes it harder for me to get the motivation to write when I only get four reviews for a chapter. _

_So to all those reading, please, I implore you, just leave some kind of review. I would really appreciate the support :)_

_To the ones who did review, thank you so much. It means the world to me !_

_On a lighter note, it took me a while to write this chapter, merely because I wanted to put as much detail into Dimitri's mind as possible. And to be honest, it's no easy task. Also, ive been a tad slower because I have spent the last week choosing subjects for my VCE (which for those who don't live in Australia, is the Victorian Certificate of Education – the last two years of high school. It's important because it will decide which path I want to take and which Uni I want to go to. Wish me good luck in getting the subjects I need (:_

_Enough rambling on my part. I present to my wonderful readers, Chapter 6 !_

Chapter 6.

As Rose slept, she mumbled incoherently under her breath. I cocked my head to the side, trying to decipher what she was saying. She rolled over and Adrian's name slipped out in a sigh. Ah, dreamwalker boy is visiting. I remembered seeing Rose and Adrian together back at Court a number of times before I was locked up again. I couldn't deny it, he loved her more than anything.

Every day I wished I could take back my decision to push Rose's idea of going back into the caves after the attack to rescue the ones who had been taken from us. If I hadn't agreed to let her voice her idea, I would never have been turned into a Strigoi and Rose and I would probably be still together. I would still be able to feel the over-powering love and affection I had for her before. But there was no point in dwelling on the past, it happened and there was nothing I could do about it.

I looked at my watch and yawned. It was time to wake Rose for her shift. I stood up and stretched and crept over to where Rose's form lay curled up in a small ball, her long hair splayed out across the pillow. Something inside of me yearned to run my fingers through it – to once again remember the feeling of the soft curls slide between my fingers. I swallowed hard and bent down to gently shake her awake. She rolled over and looked up at me, blinking the sleep from her eyes.

"Time to switch, Roza." I murmured. I mentally slapped myself for the name slip-up. Clearing my throat, I held out my hand to help her up.

"No problems?" she asked sleepily, rubbing her hands across her eyes.

"No, nothing. Everything is quiet." I told her. She nodded and took my previous spot against the wall, bringing her knees up to her chest. I glanced at Sydney to make sure we hadn't woken her. She slept soundly. I got down into the bed and pulled the blanket up over my body. The bed was still warm from where Rose lay before. I closed my eyes and finally let sleep pull me under.

I had nightmares. Again. It was once again the one where I'm leaning over Rose, my fangs bared as I near her pulsating neck. I can feel the venom pool in my mouth and the aching hunger burning within my every fibre. Rose's eyes are wide, terrified. I could hear my own sinister laugh as I pierced her neck with my razor sharp teeth and began to suck the thick, warm blood from her veins, letting it run down the back of my throat. Rose's head lulled to the side. She moaned in pleasure as the endorphins released into her body. I continued to use her blood to satisfy the persistent hunger. Only after I had finished, did I realize that there was no longer a pulse under the thin membrane covering her deliciously delicate neck. I felt a cruel smile twist my features. She was dead.

I woke up sweaty, my heart racing. I stayed curled on my side, facing away from Rose. She didn't need to know that I had just killed her in my nightmares. There was no point in worrying her, adding my burden to her already overly problematic life. I took a few deep, calming breaths and closed my eyes again, trying to relax. After a few minutes I felt sleep coming on again. I embraced the calmness this time. I never had the nightmare more than once in a night. I should be able to have a dreamless sleep now.

It only felt like minutes had passed when I felt Rose's hand touch my shoulder gently. Even though it was a soft, non aggressive touch, I still jolted awake, ready for attack.

"Easy," Rose murmured with I small smile at my readiness for battle. ʺJust a wakeup call. Sounds like our redneck friends are getting up.ʺ she jerked her head in the direction of the door. The sounds of voices floated through to us from the kitchen.

In the next bed, Sydney stirred, and opened her eyes. "What's the time?" she asked stretching and then relaxing back on the bed.

Rose shrugged her shoulders. "Not sure, probably past midday. Around three or four."

Sydney bolted upright. ʺIn the afternoon? Damn you guys and your unholy schedule.ʺ she muttered.

ʺDid you just say 'damnʹ? Isnʹt that against Alchemist rules?ʺ Rose teased lightly, a small smile on her lips. She looked refreshed after a half night of sleep. The dark circles were gone, once again leaving her skin as smooth and flawless as ever. Her eyes had a brightness to them that I hadn't seen in a while. Maybe it was the prospect that we had something new to do, something that could help Lissa. But, I could also see a little bit of worry underlying her positive exterior. No one else would have been able to see it, but I could. We knew each other too well.

ʺSometimes itʹs necessary.ʺ Sydney mumbled. She looked over to the door. "I guess we need a plan." I nodded my head in agreement. We definitely needed a plan to follow.

ʺWe have one,ʺ Rose said. ʺFind Lissaʹs sibling.ʺ

ʺI never entirely agreed to that,ʺ she said with an eyebrow raised. ʺAnd you guys keep thinking I can just magically type away like some movie hacker to find all your answers.ʺ

ʺWell, at least itʹs a place to—ʺ She paused for a moment, her face falling. ʺCrap. Your laptop wonʹt even work out here.ʺ

ʺItʹs got a satellite modem, but itʹs the battery we have to worry about.ʺ Sydney sighed and stood up.

ʺI need a coffee shop or something.ʺ

"I think I saw one in a cave down the road." Rose joked. I shook my head, smiling. Even Sydney's mouth pulled up into a small smile.

ʺThereʹs got to be some town close by where I could use my laptop.ʺ she said looking around as though hoping to find the town just outside the window.

ʺBut itʹs probably not a good idea to take the car out anywhere in this state,ʺ I said thoughtfully. ʺJust in case someone at the motel got your license plate number.ʺ We couldn't risk the fact that someone could have easily taken down the registration number on Sydney's SUV.

Her lips formed a thin line. She nodded grimly throwing a look of distain over to Rose. I knew what that was for. If it hadn't been for her trying to run off, we would be having this problem. We could have stayed there and figured out what we wanted to do next and still been able to keep our vehicle unknown to authorities. But no, Rose being Rose had to make it more eventful for everyone.

"I know, I've thought about that too."

A knock sounded on the door. Sarah's kind face appeared in the doorway. , ʺOh, good. Youʹre all awake. Weʹre getting breakfast ready if you want to join us.ʺ

We emerged into the kitchen area where there was a bustle of activity. Raymond was cooking over a fireplace whilst Paulette arranged cutlery on the long wooden table that appeared to be hand carved.

Raymond straightened up and turned around, a platter of bacon in his hand. He smiled brightly when he saw us, fangs and all.

"Good morning," he said cheerfully. "I hope you're all hungry." He pushed the plate of bacon on to the table. My stomach growled at the prospect of a hot breakfast. Eating food was still a little weird for me, but after only having bread for the last twenty-four hours, I was ready to eat.

ʺDo you think thatʹs, like, _real _bacon?ʺ Rose whispered under her breath. I fought back a smile.

"Looks real to me," I said, looking over the bacon. It was crisp and looked exactly how bacon should look.

ʺIʹd say so too,ʺ said Sydney. ʺThough, I guarantee itʹs from their own pigs and not a grocery store.ʺ

Rose eyes widened and she stared at the food. I couldn't help it, I chuckled at her ridiculous expression. ʺI always love seeing what worries you. Strigoi? No. Questionable food? Yes.ʺ

Overhearing our conversation as she entered the door, Angeline looked over to us. "What about Strigoi?" she looked in awe. It occurred to me that being isolated like probably meant that most of the people here had never come into contact with a Strigoi in their entire lives, and some never will.

ʺJust talking about some of Roseʹs Strigoi kills.ʺ I told her.

ʺYouʹve killed the Lost? Er—Strigoi?ʺ Joshua asked, following his sister through the door. "How many?" he asked in amazement.

Rose shrugged. ʺI donʹt really know anymore.ʺ I realized that after all the kills she had made in Russia, she had obviously forgotten how many. I felt bad for her that she didn't have her marks to show how much of an amazing fighter she truly had become.

ʺDonʹt you use the marks?ʺ Raymond asked. ʺI didnʹt think the Tainted had abandoned those." He frowned.

ʺThe marks—oh. Yeah. Our tattoos? We do.ʺ Rose turned around and lifted her long hair, displaying the tattoos I knew were there but could not see, to the room. A collective gasp of appreciation and shock filled the room. It wasn't common for guardians to have the amount of kills that Rose did. She had a battle mark as well as two other tattoos – representing her first to killings of Isaiah and Elena. I didn't have the battle mark that Rose had received in the aftermath of the St Vladimir's attack. I had been counted among the dead.

Joshua moved forward and raised his hand, subtly brushing his fingers across Rose's neck. She flinched at his touch and quickly turned to face him, letting her hair drop. I felt some sort of satisfaction at that. Roza obviously didn't like him touching her.

"Sorry," he said sheepishly, his cheeks turned a shade of red. . ʺIʹve just never seen some of these. Only the _molnija _marks. Thatʹs how we count our Strigoi kills. Youʹve got . . . a lot.ʺ he said in awe.

ʺThe S-shaped mark is unique to _them_,ʺ said Raymond disapprovingly. That look was quickly replaced by admiration. ʺThe otherʹs the _zvezda_.ʺ

Angeline and Joshua gasped.

Rose's face turned quizzical. "What?" The word zvezda was foreign to her.

"The battle mark. Not many people call it zvezda anymore. It means 'star'. " I explained to her. The _zve_zda got it's name from the shape it took. It indeed looked like that of a star.

ʺNow I understand how you could have killed the Tainted queen.ʺ Joshua flashed Rose another smile.

ʺItʹs probably fake,ʺ Angeline interjected. That made my blood boil. Rose deserved the mark. She had fought hard and gallantly – surpassing even the most skilled guardians. She fought to save our kind.

ʺIt is not! I earned it when Strigoi attacked our school. And then there were plenty more I took down after that.ʺ she said promptly, defending her honour.

ʺThe mark canʹt be that uncommon,ʺ I queried. ʺYour people must have big Strigoi fights every once in a while.ʺ

ʺNot really,ʺ Joshua supplied, his eyes never wavering from Rose. ʺMost of us have never fought or even seen the Lost. They donʹt really bother us.ʺ

"Why not?" Rose asked. She tilted her head to the side, causing her hair to fall to the side. There I saw the very faint, almost invisible lines on her neck. At first I thought it was the scar Adrian had caused, but that had been on the other side of her neck. This scar was further back and down lower. It was almost resting on her collar bone. I swallowed hard. _I _had given her that mark. Biting further down the neck released more blood and made it flow easier, something I had relished in during my darker times. There was no way Adrian would have ever pieced her skin like that. Only someone intending to kill would do that, although I had always been careful not to give any fatal wounds to Rose. I hadn't wanted her to die, I wanted her to join me. It was times like this when I remembered what a sick twisted _monster _I had become. There wouldn't be a day in my life when I would not _despise _Nathan for taking my soul away from me – taking my ability to care, feel and even love. It would be the emotion I would miss forever. Because, I knew it was never coming back. Never would I feel what it was like to love someone with all my heart again.

I realized I had kind of spaced out while I was thinking. The whole family and Rose and Sydney were gravitating to the table to sit for breakfast. I gave myself a mental wakeup slap and sat down next to Rose.

Through breakfast, many questions were thrown at us about Tatiana and our lives back at Court. I didn't contribute much to the flowing conversation, instead opting for just listening and adding in bits of information.

Raymond asked Sydney how she came to be involved in our escape and continued evasion of the Moroi authorities.

She shrugged. "I met Rose in Russia a while ago and when I heard about the accusations against her, I knew they couldn't be true. I offered to accompany them." Sydney replied evasively. Not too far a stretch from the truth. She _had _met Rose in Russia, and she _didn't _believe that Rose had killed Tatiana. The only thing that had been left out was that Abe had called on a favour from her. But they needn't know that.

Joshua turned to Rose. "What's it like to fight Strigoi? Do you get scared of being killed?" he asked excitedly. I saw Angeline perk up in interest, listening in.

"It's scary, but exhilarating at the same time. To be honest, I don't really think about the fact that I could be killed. From the time I was in kindergarten, we were taught that Moroi come first, and we think about ourselves later." _They come first. _Sometimes I wondered if it was always true. I had even told Rose once that if it came down to her or Lissa, I would protect her first. Wrong, yes, but at the time, with my feelings for Rose growing by the second, it had been a very real fact.

The last question of the morning was directed at me. "And are you just along for the ride?" Pauline asked me.

I smiled wryly. "Don't I wish. No, I played a major part in Rose's escape."

"Yeah," Rose interrupted. "He busted me out of prison along with others."

"We need supplies," Sydney said abruptly, the conversation dropping. ʺWhereʹs the nearest town that would have a coffee shop . . . or any restaurant?ʺ

ʺWell,ʺ said Paulette. ʺRubysville is a little over an hour north. But we have plenty of food here for you.ʺ

ʺIt′s not about food,ʺ Rose quickly reassured her. ʺYours has been great.ʺ She glanced at Sydney. ʺAn hourʹs not so bad, right?ʺ

"Is there any way . . . is there any way we could borrow a car? I′ll . . . ʺ she stammered. "I'll leave the keys to mine until we get back." Sydney asked Raymond.

"You've got a nice car." He pointed out.

"The less we drive it around here, the better."

"You can take my truck." He conceded. "Besides, we probably won't even need your car."

We quickly got ready and headed out. As we walked, Joshua, who readily jumped at the opportunity to escort us back to the car, pushed passed me and took up a spot next to Rose.

ʺI hope you wonʹt be gone long,ʺ he said. ʺIʹd wanted us to talk more.ʺ

I gritted my teeth and his lack of attempt to be subtle.

"Sure," Rose smiled back. "That'd be fun."

ʺMaybe I can show you my cave.ʺ he offered. I bit back a burst of laughter. I wondered briefly if Rose heard the sexual innuendo in his voice.

ʺYour—wait. What? Donʹt you live with your dad?ʺ

He nodded, and they exchanged a few more words about his cave before he left us at the truck.

Sydney chucked the keys to me. "Here, you drive." I nodded and slipped in behind the wheel.

We spent the first few minutes in silence. I broke it. ʺYou shouldnʹt lead him on like that,ʺ I chastised lightly.

"Huh?" Rose asked.

ʺJoshua. You were flirting with him.ʺ I said stiffly.

ʺI was not! We were just talking.ʺ she shot back.

ʺArenʹt you with Adrian?ʺ I challenged.

"Yes!" she exclaimed. I kept my eyes fixed on the road ahead of me. ʺAnd thatʹs why I wasnʹt flirting. How can you read so much into that? Joshua doesnʹt even like me that way.ʺ I snuck a glance at her out the corner of my eye. She looked outraged. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from chuckling. She looked so much younger than her eighteen years when she frowned, almost child-like.

"Actually," Sydney broke in. "He does."

Rose's eyes widened incredulously. ʺHow do you know? Did he pass you a note in class or something?ʺ she mocked.

ʺNo. But you and Dimitri are like gods back at camp.ʺ _Rose is the only god – goddess –_ _around here. _The thought crept into my mind. I could not work out why I was always having these thoughts about Rose. Memories, perhaps. Or maybe wishful thinking? I had no idea.

ʺWeʹre outsiders,ʺ Rose reminded her. ʺTainted.ʺ

ʺNo. Youʹre renegade Strigoi – and queen-killers. It might have all been southern charm and hospitality back there, but those people can be savage. They put a big premium on being able to beat people up. And, considering how scruffy most of them are, you guys are. . . well . . . letʹs just say you two are the hottest things to walk through there in a while.ʺ

ʺYouʹre not hot?ʺ Rose asked.

Sydney _was _pretty in a way, with short platinum blonde hair and clear brown eyes.

Sydney looked bashful at the compliment. ʺItʹs irrelevant, ʺAlchemists arenʹt even on their radar. We donʹt fight. They think weʹre weak.ʺ I personally did not consider alchemists to be weak. Just looking at Sydney, I could easily tell that she had a little bit of definition around her arms and legs, although she wouldn't have the same physical strength that dhampirs had, but she was most definitely stronger than Moroi.

"Raymond's family is pretty good looking." I snorted. There, evidence that she was flirting with Joshua. We didn't have time for her to go around leading on guys with lost puppy eyes.

ʺYeah,ʺ Sydney said. ʺBecause theyʹre probably the most important family in town. They eat better, probably donʹt have to work in the sun as much. That kind of stuff makes a difference.ʺ

Conversation dwindled after that and we spent the next hour or so in relative silence.

After a brief stop at a gas station to ask directions, we headed to the coffee shop the attendant had pointed us to.

We seated ourselves in a booth where Sydney plugged her laptop in. Sydney ordered a coffee, but Rose and I waved the waitress away who left with an annoyed expression upon her elderly face.

Eventually Rose and I decided to leave Sydney to her work and got up and headed out onto the bright, hot Virginia day sunshine.

The rolling green hills were dotted with tall looming trees with leaves that were just starting to change in colour from their usual bright green to the reds and oranges of fall. I took in a deep breath of the fresh air, revelling in the feel of it rush to my expanding lungs.

"Or any place," Rose murmured. I looked over to her, puzzled.

"Hmm?" I said, returning my eyes to the beautiful scenery before me.

ʺI was just thinking about if the guardians find us. I never realized how much there was I wanted to do and see. Suddenly, thatʹs all at stake, you know?ʺ I nodded, knowing exactly how she felt. I'd never get to see my beautiful country again, or my family. A lump rose in my throat at the thought of never holding my dear mother again, or teasing my sisters, or seeing my nephew grow into the amazing guardian I knew he would become one day. It was times like these, when nostalgia washed over me, that I desperately wanted to just forget everything and go home where my mother would be waiting with open arms and a hot meal on the table.

ʺOkay, suppose my name isnʹt cleared and we never find the real murderer. Whatʹs the next best-case scenario? Me: always running, always hiding. Thatʹll be my life. For all I know, I _will _have to go live with the Keepers.ʺ

I smiled wryly. ʺI donʹt think itʹll come to that,ʺ I said comfortingly. ʺAbe and Sydney would help you find some place safe.ʺ Where would I go? It was too dangerous to go back to Baia – guardians knew that's where my family were, and I would _not _endanger them. Stay with Rose forever? Before I had dreamt of spending the rest of my life with Roza, but now, after everything that had happened, I didn't think I could ever do that. I shoved my worry aside because it wouldn't come to that, we _would _clear Rose's name and be safe again. Someday. When that 'someday' was, I had no idea.

ʺIs there a safe place? For real? Adrian said the guardians are increasing their efforts to find us. Theyʹve got the Alchemists and probably human authorities looking for us too. No matter where we go, weʹll run the risk of being spotted. Then weʹll have to move on. Itʹll be like that forever.ʺ she was starting to sound desperate and slightly hysterical.

ʺYouʹll be alive,ʺ I said gently. ʺThatʹs what matters. Enjoy what you have, every little detail of wherever you are. Donʹt focus on where you _arenʹt_.ʺ I wasn't sure if I said that for myself, or for Rose.

ʺYeah, ʺI suppose I shouldnʹt whine over the dream places I wonʹt get to see. I should be grateful I get to see anything at all. And that Iʹm not living in a cave.ʺ

I saw a small library over the road. Smiling, I asked; "Where do you want to go?"

"What?" she looked around, taking in the meagre shops. "Right now?"

"No," I shook my head. "In the world."

"Sydneyʹs going to be pissed if we take off for Istanbul or something.ʺ

I laughed. It felt good, it felt real. For once I didn't have to fake it. ʺNot what I had in mind. Come on.ʺ I motioned for her to follow me.

"Whoa, hey" she balked when she saw where I was leading her. "ʺOne of the few perks of graduating was avoiding places like this.ʺ

I whipped a sheen of sweat of my forehead. "It's probably air-conditioned." I pointed out.

After pondering this for a moment, she took a step forward. "Lead on," she commanded.

Opening the door, I relished in the coolness washing over me. It did indeed have air-conditioning.

I smiled slightly when I saw the small hand written sign pointing to the travel section. I took Rose over to the books. I'll admit, I was a tad disappointed with their lack of world travel books. But I was a master at working with what was on offer.

"Not quite what I expected," I muttered. I pulled out a promising looking book; _100 Best Places to Visit in the World. _

Sitting down on the floor, I placed the book in Rose's lap. The motion caused my hand to brush up against her leg, sending a tingling feeling through my fingers. I looked up at Rose's face. She didn't appear to have noticed.

ʺNo way, comrade,ʺ Rose pouted. ʺI know books are a journey of the imagination, but I donʹt think Iʹm up for that today.ʺ

"Just take it," I said tapping the book. ʺClose your eyes, and flip randomly to a page.ʺ she sighed and slid her lids closed, covering her brown eyes. Her fingers rifled through the pages until she settled on one.

"Mitchell, South Dakota," she said too loudly. I resisted the urge to shush her. "Out of all the places in the world, that makes the top hundred?ʺ

I gave her an amused smile. "Read it."

ʺ'Located ninety minutes outside of Sioux Falls, Mitchell is home to the Corn Palace." She looked disbelieving. ʺ_Corn_ _Palace?_ʺ

I moved closer to her, our arms now touching. I never realised until now just how much I missed being with Rose. We brought out the best in each other. She helped me open up more and I loved making her smile. We made one another happy. Simple as that.

ʺI figured itʹd be made of corn husks,ʺ I noted, taking in the Middle Eastern shaped dome buildings. They reminded me of the ones in Russia.

"Me too. Iʹd visit it. I bet they have great T-shirts.ʺ she smiled ruefully.

"And," I added. "I bet no guardians would look for us there."

We both laughed a little too vocally. We quietened when the librarian ordered us to "keep it down or else."

I took the book from Rose and flipped open to a page. "Sao Paolo, Brazil." I told her. We both agreed we would like to visit there.

I passed the book back to Rose who lay down between the shelves. I mimicked her action, putting our bodies closer together. There was nothing intimate about our position, it was just two friends forgetting the worries of the world and having a good time together. I liked the quiet moment shared with the girl who had once held my heart as if her life depended on it. It gave me hope that maybe we could be friends. I needed all the friends I could get.

"Florence, Italy," Rose read when it was her turn. ʺSydney wants to go there. She wanted to study there, actually. If Abe could have managed that, I think she would have served him for life.ʺ

ʺSheʹs still pretty obedient,ʺ I said. ʺI donʹt know her well, but Iʹm pretty sure Abeʹs got something on her.ʺ

ʺHe got her out of Russia, back to the U.S.ʺ

ʺItʹs got to be more than that. Alchemists are loyal to their order. They donʹt like us. She hides it—theyʹre trained to—but every minute with the Keepers is agony. For her to help us and betray her superiors, she owes him for some serious reason.ʺ What did _zmey _have over the Alchemist? She must be concealing some kind of secret.

ʺIt′s irrelevant, though. Sheʹs helping us, which is what matters . . . and we should probably get back to her.ʺ the clock on the wall told me that we had been lounging around on the floor of the library for over two hours.

"One more," she pleaded, passing the world atlas back to me.

I conceded and selected a page. I felt my mood and smile plummet instantly. "Saint Petersburg." That was one city that I could never face again, not ever. Too many torturous memories lay buried in the ancient Russian city.

Rose's elbow nudged me softly in the side. ʺHey, enjoy where youʹre at, remember? Not where you canʹt go.ʺ she murmured.

Pulling the smile back into place, I teased; ʺHowʹd you get so wise?ʺ

"I had a good teacher," she countered. I felt the pride build. ʺIs that why you escaped with me?ʺ she asked abruptly. ʺTo see what parts of the world you could?ʺ

I blinked in surprise at her sudden question. You donʹt need me to be wise, Rose. Youʹre doing fine on your own. Yes, that was part of it. Maybe I would have been welcomed back eventually, but there was the risk I wouldnʹt. After . . . after being Strigoi . . .ʺ I stuttered over the word involuntarily. ʺI gained a new appreciation for life. It took a while. Iʹm still not there. Weʹre talking about focusing on the present, not the future —but itʹs my past that haunts me. Faces. Nightmares. But the farther I get from that world of death, the more I want to embrace life. The smell of these books and the perfume you wear. The way the light bends through that window. Even the taste of breakfast with the Keepers.ʺ I shocked myself with how easily it all fell from my mouth. It was a reminder of how close we were with how open I was with Rose. I could tell her anything and not be afraid of judgment.

ʺYouʹre a poet now.ʺ she remarked.

ʺNo, just starting to realize the truth. I respect the law and the way our society runs, but there was no way I could risk losing life in some cell after only just finding it again. I wanted to run too. Thatʹs why I helped you. That and—ʺ I faltered. I was about to say _for Lissa._ I wondered if I really _had _done it just for her. Yes, I wanted to uphold my promise to Lissa to do anything she asked, but I was starting to think that even if Lissa hadn't asked me to do this, I probably would have still done it. _For Rose, _my mind added automatically.

"What?" Rose prompted, attempting to look into my eyes. I kept my gaze averted from her supple brown eyes.

ʺIt doesnʹt matter," I brushed it off. "Letʹs go back to Sydney and see if she found out anything . . . although, as much as I hate to say it, I think itʹs unlikely.ʺ

"I know, she probably gave up and started playing _Minesweeper_." Rose joked.

We made our way back on to the brightly lit street. As we passed the ice-cream shop claiming to hold over twenty different flavours Rose shot me a sly look. "What do you say, Comrade? Feel up to some ice-cream?"

It took very little persuading on Rose's part to get me to agree.

Once we both had our sweet desserts, we casually walked back to the coffee shop, just

talking aimlessly.

We both slid into the booth across from a slightly frazzled looking Sydney. Rose leaned forward across the table to look at her computer screen. ʺHow′s it—hey! You _are _playing _Minesweeper_!ʺ she exclaimed disbelievingly. ʺYou're supposed to be finding a connection to Ericʹs mistress.ʺ

"I already did." Said Sydney. I cocked my head to the side, listening. Rose caught my eye. I imagined her expression was an exact replica of my own. Astonishment.

ʺBut I donʹt know how useful itʹll be.ʺ Sydney noted dubiously, running her fingers back and forth along the mouse pad.

"Anythingʹll be useful," Rose declared. "What did you find?"

ʺAfter trying to track down all those bank records and transactions—and let me tell you, that is _not _fun at all—I finally found a small piece of info. The bank account we have now is a newer one. It was moved from another bank about five years ago. The old account was still a Jane Doe, _but _it did have a next-of-kin reference in the event something happened to the account holder.ʺ she slid a piece of paper over to me with her own elegant script on it. It basically said everything Sydney had just told us. I nodded for her to continue. The excitement was building, we were getting closer to. . . _something. _

ʺA real name?ʺ Rose breathed.

Sydney confirmed as much a second later. The name; _Sonya Karp _fell from her lips.

Rose and I both stared at each other for a moment. Sonya. The teacher who had gone insane and turned Strigoi from using Spirit was now our only hope of finding this Jane Doe. Many questions still hung in the balance. The main one being, _Is Sonya still alive?_ And if she was, finding her would be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. If she didn't want to be found, then tracking her down was not going to be an easy task.

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	7. Chapter 7

_I am super super sorry that it has taken me so long to update. Ive had this chapter half finished for ages, but just haven't found the time to finish it off. i have a list of excuses that I wont bore you with though._

_Thank you so much to those who reviewed last chapter and to those who are sticking with me and my extensive breaks between updating. Im working on getting them done quicker, but unfortunately real life gets in the way sometimes. _

_Enjoy this chapter. I made it longer to make up for the gap._

Note: Text spoken in italics is in Russian.  
>Chapter 7.<p>

Sydney glanced between Rose and myself. "I take it you know who that is?'' she asked.

"Of course! She was my teacher. She went crazy and turned Strigoi." Rose told her while I nodded my head, having heard about the crazy teacher at St. Vladimir's. I had never met Sonya personally, but I knew from Rose and Lissa that she had been a spirit using Moroi whose powers had eventually crushed her into insanity. We worried that would happen to Lissa one day.

"She's not. . . she's not the one who had an affair with Lissa's dad, is she?" I surveyed Rose's expression. She had gone slightly pale at the thought of Sonya Karp being Eric Dragomir's mistress and had a child with him. It even sickened me a little.

"Not likely," Sydney said. Rose let out a small breath of relief. I don't think she even realised that she had been holding onto the oxygen while waiting for Sydney to diminish her fears. "The account was opened seven years before she was added to the beneficiary – which was right when she turned eighteen. So, if we're assuming the account was created around the time the baby was born, then she would have been way too young. Sonya's probably a relative."

Relative? Wouldn't that mean that there would have to be some sort of documentation on the child's birth and family line? I voiced my queries to Sydney in the hopes that she would be able to access those documents through the Alchemists.  
>"You must have records about her family. Or if not, some Moroi probably does. Who's close to Sonya? Does she have a sister?"<p>

Sydney shook her head. "No. That'd be an obvious choice, though. Unfortunately, she has other family – tons of it. Her parents both came from giant families, so she has lots of cousins. Even some of her aunts are the right age." Well there went that idea. If Sonya had that many family members, then it was going to make it nearly impossible to track down the right one.

"We can look them up, right?" Rose asked, a glimmer of hope shining in her deep brown eyes. I got lost in those oceans of chocolate more than I cared to admit.

"There's a lot of them. I mean, yeah, we could. It'd take a long time to find everyone's life history, and even then – especially if this was covered up enough – we'd have a hard time finding out if any of them is the woman we're looking for. Or even if any of them know who she is." I saw the light fade a little in Rose's eyes as Sydney dismissed that idea.  
>It got me thinking, however. I knew a lot of people – Strigoi – and wondered if any of them would have some sort of connection to Sonya Karp. If we could get in contact with someone who knew where she lived, then we might, just might¸ have a chance at finding who this woman was. Thinking about my past life, I could feel the fear and hatred of myself once again. I just hoped that Sonya was still alive. Strigoi died every day, and it was possible that someone had found Sonya and killed her.<p>

I looked back to Rose and Sydney. "One person knows who Jane Doe is." I stated, careful to keep the building anxiety out of my voice. The two girls looked at me expectantly. "Sonya Karp."

Rose rolled her eyes and threw her hand up in exasperation. "Yeah, but we can't talk to her. She's a lost cause. Mikhail Tanner spent over a year hunting her and couldn't find her. If he can't, then we're not going to be able to."

I moved away from them, turning my back. Mikhail didn't know the right people to have any chance of actually finding Sonya. I, however, had the right contacts that I could use to get what I wanted. I still held a great amount of power in the Strigoi world, granted that no one had found out about my recent transformation. I could only hope that Boris, the man I thought might be able to get us a connection to Sonya, did not know the truth about me.

"That's because Mikhail didn't have the right connections."

"Mikhail was her boyfriend. He had more connections than anyone else." It was Rose who spoke.

I knew making contact with Boris was going to undo everything I had worked hard to accomplish when it came to moving on with my life. It would dredge up all those terrifying memories, all the images of the people who I killed in cold blood. Their faces as I drained the life from them. There was one girl whose death I would never forget.

_**Flashback.**_

I entered the bar at around 9pm. It was pitch black outside. Safe for me to walk the streets. I breathed in a deep breath of the atmosphere in the crowded room. Deciphering between the smell of alcohol and human blood, I picked up on the most delicious smell. Like honey. It was mouth watering. The smell made me think of my Roza, I could imagine that this was what she would smell like to me now.

I moved through the mass of people – mostly kids who looked barely old enough to actually be in a bar – a caught sight of a girl with long dark brown hair sitting at the front bar. Her hair cascaded down her back in a mass of curls. Her body was curved inward, her shoulders hunched like she was trying to ignore everyone and not attract attention. She looked exactly like Rose. I felt excitement rise within me. Was it her? I didn't know. Only one way to find out.

I slid onto the bar stool beside her and took in another deep breath, relishing in the delightful smell. My throat ached with hunger and a dull throb ran though my fangs, ready for the kill. But not yet. The fun part was the chase.

Only one glance at the girl confirmed for me that she was human. She didn't have the athletic build of a dhampir or the curves that Rose had. However she did look exactly like Rose in the face. Almost like a doppelganger.

"Hello," I murmured to her, not bothering to keep the sinister sound out of my voice. I wanted her to be afraid. It was more entertaining that way.

When she looked over at me, I instantly heard her heart rate increase. Her eyes widened – the eyes. . . the deep chocolate orbs identical to hers. She possessed the same shapely pink lips that I knew were like silk.

"Hi," she glanced down, breaking the eye contact. I knew my crimson eyes frightened her. Her voice though, it sounded like Rose.

"What's your name?" I asked.

"Lola,"

"That's a very pretty name, Lola." I leaned in toward her. Lola backed away a little, so afraid. "Would you like to join me for a walk?"

She shook her head frantically. Her chest rose and fell heavily in rapid succession. She swallowed deeply and got up to leave. I let her get as far as the door before I got up slowly and followed.

I parted the crowed of people easily. Humans seemed to instinctively stay away from Strigoi.

Opening the door, I peered out. Lola was hurriedly walking down the deserted street.

Perfect.

Using my inhuman speed and agility, I easily caught up with her and positioned myself in front of her body.

Lola let out a scream and turned to run. I once again let her get a few feet in front of me before I took off after her again. I let out a malicious laugh and I caught her around the throat and pulled her body into my own.

"Please," she whispered. Tears fell down her cheeks. It only made me angrier though. If this was Rose, she would have fought tooth and nail to kill me. This girl was nothing but a weak human. Something burned within me though; something that wished it was Rose who I was about to taste.

I leaned my head down and brushed by lips against the tanned skin of her neck, right over the vein where I knew the most blood pumped.

"You see," I told her, letting the sinister sound in my voice shine through. She shuddered within my grasp. "You look a lot like a girl I know, she's very beautiful too. I am waiting until the right moment before I go to find my Roza, so in the mean time, you will have to do."

Inhaling again to get another hit of her lovely sent, I bared my teeth and sank my fangs deep into her neck. I moaned in satisfaction as the hoy, thick blood rushed into my mouth, finally satiating my constant hunger. The girl writhed in pain at first before the strong endorphins released into her system. She lulled into my arms and moaned sensually.

There was an ally way a little way ahead of us. Still keeping my fangs imbedded into her skin, I dragged her almost unconscious body into the ally and dumped her, ensuring I had drained every last drop of blood from her.

Before I turned to leave, I spared her a glance. "Just like Roza."

_**End flashback.**_

I shuddered as I recalled the memory. At the time, I had wanted Rose so badly, just to drain her dry. I truly was a monster.

"Does your phone have reception out here?" I finally spoke, my question directed at Sydney.  
>She nodded and passed me her phone. I regarded it with a sense of fear. The memories of<p>

my previous 'life' were still so vivid. It scared me. 

Taking a deep breath, I moved away from the girls and outside, letting the hot sun wash over me. I missed the sun. Now, I relished in the hot rays as they pricked my soft skin. A reminder that I was in fact, a dhampir once again.

I heard Sydney and Rose follow me out the door, but they stopped a few feet from where I stood. I dialled the number I had memorised all those months ago, and placed the phone to my ear.

_"Hello?"_ that cold, cruel voice sounded through the receiver. I bit back the bile that threatened to escape.

_"Boris?"_ I said it as a question, even though I knew exactly who it was.

_"Sir, it's been too long."_

_"You were supposed to be checking in with me every month."_ I spat in anger, using my best Strigoi voice.

_"I. . . I heard rumours that you weren't coming back to us. That you had found new workers."_ Boris stuttered over his words. I let out a silent breath of relief. He didn't know that I was not Strigoi anymore. Had he known, we wouldn't just be running from the law anymore.

_"So you heard rumours and you think that you no longer have to follow my instructions?"_ my voice grew cold. Boris gasped in a breath in fear at the rise in my voice. I was the only man Boris feared.

_"No, no, I'm so sorry sir. I did try to call, but your number was disconnected. I wasn't sure how to contact you."_

_"I have something to ask of you."_

_"Anything sir, anything."_

_"I need to know where Sonya Karp is."_

_"I. . . who?"_ he sounded puzzled.

_"Sonya. Karp,"_ I repeated slowly, but still with menace_. "She was a teacher at the school in Montana. I need to know where she is. Get Donovan. He will be able to find where she is."  
><em>

"_It won't be easy sir, Donovan doesn't do favors lightly, nor with nothing in return." _

_"Find where Sonya is. I don't care how you do it. Just get it done. If I don't have the answers I need by tomorrow night I will find you, and I will rip you apart. Don't doubt that I will do it."_ My voice had grown low and deadly. Out the corner of my eye, I saw Rose flinch back. I swallowed hard. I didn't want to scare her. Scaring Roza was the last thing I wanted to do. 

"_Of course. I will find her."_

With that I disconnected the call. Slowly, I shuffled over to Sydney and carefully place the phone back in her well manicured hand. I let the mask of fierceness that I worked so hard to

keep, slip away, to be replaced by dejection and horror. 

Rose watched me vigilantly, searching my eyes for. . . something. I didn't know what. She looked as though she wanted to hug me, but she sighed and turned away back to Sydney.  
>I took a few moments to regain my composure. Yes, I had gotten what I wanted, but I worried that it would only lead to a dead end. I worked hard to shut out the warring emotions coursing through me. <p>

At last, I felt calm enough to update Rose and Sydney. "I've sent someone to ask about her. It might not work out. Strigoi are hardly the type to keep a database. But they do occasionally keep an eye on one another, if only for their own self-preservation. We'll find out soon if there are any hits." I rubbed my eyes, feeling suddenly so tired. It seemed an age ago when Rose and I were lounging in the library, laughing and talking – just being normal people for once. 

"I . . . wow. Thank you," Rose said sincerely. I gave her a small smile. She knew she didn't need to thank me. 

"We should get back to the Keepers . . . unless you think this is a safe place to stay?" 

"I'd rather stay off civilized radar. Besides, I want my car keys back." Sydney slid back into the car, claiming the passenger seat. I fished the keys out of the back pocket of my jeans and got into the driver's side. 

The whole way home, I fought against myself. More than anything, I just wished I could forget the last few months and go back to before the attack at St. Vladimir's. Back to the

night in the cabin. 

_**Flashback.  
><strong>_

I dragged Rose away from the violent scene Jesse and his friends had caused. Rose fought me the entire time it took for me to get her to the cabin on the outskirts of the grounds and the time it took to clean her wounds. 

"Rose, snap out of this!" I begged, shaking her small shoulders to get her attention. "You don't mean any of this. You've been stressed and under a lot of pressure – it's making a terrible event that much worse." 

I forced her to look at me, staring deep into her depthless brown eyes – it was so easy to get lost in her eyes. They were like pools of melted chocolate. 

"You're strong," I whispered to her. "It won't happen again." 

"No," Rose shook her head, swiping away the still cascading tears of diamonds. "It will happen again. I'm going to be like Anna. It's going to get worse and worse. Next time? I don't know. Maybe it will be craziness like Ms. Kapr. I keep falling and falling into this pit, and

then I will be like Anna and kill –" 

"No," cut her off with a gentle murmur. Our foreheads were almost touching. We were oh so close. "It won't happen to you. You're too strong. You will fight it, just like you did this time." 

"I only did because you were here." I circled my arms around her petite waist and pulled her to me. Rose buried her head against my chest. "I can't do it by myself." She sounded so defeated and desperate. My heart shattered into a million pieces. Rose owned every single one of those pieces. She owned my heart. I felt helpless. I couldn't make it stop. 

"You can," I countered. "You are strong – you're so, so strong. It's why I love you." It was in that moment, seeing her so vulnerable, yet so strong and brave, that I realized just how much I loved her. Before, I had been in denial, not wanting to admit to being in love with her because it was wrong, but in truth, I had loved Rose since the day I lay eyes on her. She was my other half. 

Rose wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me down into a blissful kiss filled with nothing but love. 

I carefully moved her body back so she was laying on the bed beneath me. I supported my weight so she felt none of it. Slowly, I slid my hand down her waist, over her hip and rested it on her thigh. I pulled her leg up and around my body, so my legs were rested between her

thighs, all the while, still locked at the lips. 

We both pulled back suddenly, at the same time. I gazed into her eyes. Her heart thundered in her chest. 

"We can't," I whispered, fighting the undying urge to take her right there. 

"I know," With those words, my resolve shattered and I claimed her lips between my own once again, both of us fighting for domination. I relished in the sweet vanilla taste of her mouth and moaned deeply. Clothes began to fall away until we were both completely naked. 

I worshipped her body. "You are so, so beautiful." I choked out. 

And then we became one, fitting together perfectly, like the two missing pieces of a puzzle. Rose and I shared a bond that was truly unbreakable. The love we had was too strong and could withstand anything life threw at us. 

"I love you Roza." 

_**End Flashback.**_

I pulled myself out of my reverie as I pulled Raymond's car up to the car park. Two Keepers -a human guy and a Moroi woman - were waiting at the entrance to the little village.

We followed them back go the camp. Not a word was exchanged as we walked down the track.

A communal bonfire was crackling in the middle of the camp. There were a few children gathered around it with an elderly Moroi man who appeared to be telling the children a story. It reminded me of when my grandmother used to tell my sisters and me stories - usually scary ones - when we were younger. It made me yearn for my family back home. But I didn't know if I would ever be able to bring myself to go back, to face the kind face of my mother or the innocent ones of my nephew and niece. Not after all the evil I caused.

Sydney, Rose and I went back to Raymond's house where only Sarah and Joshua were. Sarah was busy washing dishes over a small sink and Joshua was sitting in a seat at the table looking fidgety.

As soon as his eyes lay on Rose, he jumped up and gave her a bright smile. "Rose! You're back. We were starting to worry. . . I mean, not that anything happened to you - not with your skills - but that maybe you'd left us."

I fought back the laugh that tumbled to my lips. He acted much younger than his age suggested. Joshua was a nervous wreck around Rose. Poor guy, didn't know she had a boyfriend back home.

Sarah suggested we all go outside to the bonfire where Jess McHale apparently might sing. I didn't really want to go, preferring to go back to our room and rest, but before any of us could say anything, Sydney agreed to go. With Sydney's decision, came my decision. I could hardly let her go out there alone.

"I'll go too," I said quietly. I looked to Rose, waiting to see what she wanted to do.

"Do you still want to see my cave?" Joshua interjected. "There's a little light left outside. You'll get a better view than if we have to use a torch."

I felt a flash of anger at this insolent boy. Rose glanced at me, obviously seeing the disapproving look shining in my eyes. She read me like an open book, as I did her.

"Sure," Rose agreed, giving him her prize worthy smile. "I'd love to." that last part was clearly for my benefit, as it made the jealous lion in my chest rear it's ugly head. I knew I had absolutely no right to feel this way. Rose was an adult now. She could do whatever she liked. I kept telling myself that it was for Adrian. It would kill him if he knew that Rose was off flirting shamelessly with another guy.

Joshua and Rose left the house and walked out into the dusk air, leaving Sydney and I standing alone with Sarah.

"Well, you two should get out there before all the good spots around the fire are taken," Sarah said kindly.

We thanked her and made our way out to the huge bonfire. Already, people were milling around, talking to each other.

"Sit over here?" Sydney asked me, pointing to a gap on the edges of the group. I nodded and followed her, sitting down between her and a Moroi woman.

Soon, more people had gathered and a group started singing, with a young human man playing an acoustic guitar. I tuned the music out, focussing on our surroundings. As night fell, I became increasingly vigilant. This was the time when Strigoi were at large. The time when we had to be the most careful. As I watched, I let my mind wander to what Rose and Joshua could possibly be doing. Joshua was a young and handsome kid, the type Rose would go after. Once again, I couldn't repress the jealous feelings flaring up within me.

The sky became increasingly darker and I felt myself becoming uneasy about Rose. What was taking them so long anyway? It wasn't that I didn't think she couldn't protect herself, I knew she could take Joshua easily if it came to it, but I didn't like her being out there in some dark cave with a savage Keeper.

Out the corner of my eye, I saw Sydney shudder and look down to her hands twisting in discomfort.

"What's wrong?" I asked, concerned.

"Look over there," she lifted her head and gestured to a couple in a corner of the group. It took me a moment to realize that it was a Moroi man and a human woman. They were kissing. No, not just kissing, he was also biting her neck, taking blood. It made me feel sick.

"It's so wrong." Sydney said in disgust. "I like the way you live better. At least you don't form relationships with humans."

I looked away, and saw Rose and Joshua appear around the corner of a cave. I breathed out a little sigh of relief. Rose looked fine, of anything just a little uncomfortable. I realized why. Joshua was walking very close to her, their shoulders almost touching. I felt a small touch of satisfaction.

Rose saw us and headed our way. But didn't make it. Angeline whipped into action out of nowhere and threw herself at Rose, fists curled. She landed a punch on Rose's cheek. I gasped and readied myself to help Rose bit Sydney laid a hand against mine, keeping my seated.

"Just watch. Angeline is testing Rose," Sydney murmured, her eyes trained in on the scene unfolding before us. The singing and guitar had stopped when Angeline threw the first punch. Everyone's attention was focused on the two dhampirs.

"Are you insane?" Rose cried out exasperatedly, as Angeline threw yet another punch in the direction of Rose's face. Rose sidestepped it easily, keeping her defensive stance. "Stop this. I don't want to hurt you."

"Sure. That's what you want everyone to think, right? If you don't actually have to fight, then they'll all go on believing those marks are real." Rose looked furious. I couldn't blame her. That was a low blow. Killing Strigoi wasn't all about the marks, in fact, the marks had nothing to do with it. We only killed to protect ourselves and others.

"They _are _real!" Rose spat, her temper reaching breaking point.

The fight had now escalated to a more physical point. Angeline kept throwing out comments about the way we lived and the royals. Some of her insults were uncalled for. Rose managed to tackle Angeline to the ground and pin her there. The crowd was cheering now that something exciting was happening. I doubted they had much in the way of entertainment around here. This fight would be something they all loved. Like reality TV for the rest of civilization.

Angeline attempted to rid herself of Rose's restraining hands, but she soon realized that it wasn't going to happen anytime soon. Rose was just way to strong for her. Angeline's look of fierceness faded into one of resignation.

"Fine. I guess it's okay. Go ahead." I looked at Angeline, puzzled. I was sure Rose's face mirrored mine perfectly.

"Huh? What's okay?"

"It's okay if you marry my brother."

That did it for me. I actually started laughing. Sydney sat shaking silently with repressed laughter beside me.

"What the. . .?" Rose looked totally shocked at Angeline's words. "I'm not marrying Joshua,"

"That's not what I've heard," Angeline retorted. "And if you're not marrying my brother, then why are you wearing that?" she pointed to something on Rose's wrist. I leaned forward to get a closer look at the bracelet around her wrist. It was an intricately designed wooden bracelet. Joshua gave her a present? I found myself resenting the boy even more.

"This was just a gift, nothing else. And even if I was marrying Joshua – which I'm not – why did you fight me?" Rose asked, rubbing her bruised cheek.

"Because that's how we do it here," Raymond told her, coming closer to his daughter. "If two people wish to marry, then the sibling of the same sex must battle it out to ensure that she is worthy. Therefore, Angeline, as Joshua's sister, had to fight you. In a case like this where you have no family here with you, it would fall on Dimitri"- Raymond gestured to me – "To fight Joshua."

I kept my professional expression planted firmly on my face. I wanted to laugh at how ludicrous that custom was, but that would have been extremely rude and probably would have gotten us kicked out – or handed over to the authorities. Either way, I kept my mouth shut.

I stood up and motioned to Sydney to follow me. "I think it's time for bed. You coming Rose?" I asked her, saving her from saying something wrong about their way of living.

"Yeah, yeah. Let's go." We quickly said goodnight to everyone and walked back to Raymond's house.

_Reviews are most welcome (: lets set a goal of 15-20 for this one ! if I get the reviews, ill update ASAP. _

_~Bronte._


	8. Chapter 8

**~Text spoken in _italics _is in Russian. **

**enjoy and leave me some love (:**

"Its not funny!" Rose exclaimed when we were safely back in the secluded privacy of our coveted room in Raymond's home.

Sydney, who was still giggling madly after the nights event, wiped away a tear of laughter that had leaked from her eye. Honestly, I had never seen Sydney so. . . carefree. She was usually wound up so tightly with her Alchemist duties – especially around those she considered 'evil creatures of the night'. "You're right. It wasn't funny," another choke of laughter caught in her throat before she finished off her sentence. "It was _hilarious_!" I couldn't help but smile at the indignant look Rose shot her. If I had been on the receiving end of that look, I probably would have cowered like a little child in the corner of the bedroom.

I smugly thought about the fact that Rose now had to admit that she had been very wrong about the kids intentions toward her and how she was leading him on – intentionally or not. Clearly Rose was the only one who hadn't seen it coming. Angleine however, had been on her guard since Joshua fist lay eyes on Rose. Seeing the bracelet now loosely dangling from Rose's wrist, had only further accentuated Angeline's thoughts. She had acted appropriately according to their customs. As Joshua's only sibling, she was the one who was in charge of asserting if the girl her brother was doting on was a proper candidate for a sister-in-law. We had found out later that had Rose and Joshua honestly intended to marry, it would have fallen to me to fight Joshua. I wasn't usually one to question the customs one lived by having been raised in a foreign country and living by different customs myself; but even I had to admit it was a little unorthodox to be settling an engagement by way of violence.

Rose continued to rub her cheek where Angeline had landed a nice punch. It reminded me of the time when Rose's own mother – the infamous Janine Hathaway – had accidently connected her fist with her face, giving her a black eye. I noticed, not for the first time, that even with a beat up cheek, Rose was still just as beautiful as ever. Maybe even more beautiful. The wound made her look brave and assertive. It made me proud of the woman she had become having played a role in her education. Seeing her fight was like watching a goddess. She moved stealthily, never missing a beat. Just like I had taught her. Knowing firsthand how well she fought, I felt sadness well within me. Rose couldn't be a guardian now. All that time, all those training sessions and hard work, although not wasted, seemed pointless now that she would not have the chance to guard her best friend's life with her own. All those years of schooling, ruined by someone's selfish act of treason. It made me sick to think that someone around Court that we probably trusted and knew would not only kill the royal Moroi queen, but then go onto frame an innocent young woman.

Realising then that I had been stuck in my own thoughts for a while, I pulled myself out of my reverie and focused in one what the conversation once again.

"I told you not to encourage him," I said in a 'zen' voice.

"Whatever," Rose said flippantly. "You didn't see this coming. You just didn't want me to – " Rose stopping abruptly, toying her finger in a small hole in her shirt. I waited for her to continue but she didn't. Instead, she turned to Sydney. "Did _you _know about this custom?" Once again, Rose had left me pondering what was on her mind. Most of the time, I was able to read her like a book, but, there were times such as these where I had no clue as to what she was thinking. I pushed my troubles with Rose aside for the moment though.

"No," Sydney admitted ruefully shaking her blonde head. "but I'm not all that surprised. I told you they're savage – " _Savage, _I thought, was an understatement. They were ruthless. But I supposed they had to be. If you were going to survive out here you had to have some sort of rules about the way everyone lived. "A lot of ordinary problems are settled by fights like that." Sydney told us. I had gathered that already. Fights seemed to be their pass-time sport. Like football was for Americans. Fighting was their 'sport'.

"Well, it's stupid," Rose said. "Although, she wasn't bad. Unpolished, but not bad. Are they all that tough? The humans too?" Rose was right. Angeline did have skills when it came to fighting. I would have wagered money that had she had formal training since she was younger, she would be a kickass guardian when she turned eighteen. Even now, with some training, she would be able to hold he own in a fight like she had demonstrated against Rose. Admittedly, Strigoi were much stronger than Rose, but you didn't always need ridiculous strength to overpower a Strigoi. They had weaknesses too. Everyone had to have a weakness, it was how everyone was kept equal. A shudder ran down my spine and I had to work harder than normal to keep my face impassive. Even the thought of Strigoi made my blood run cold. Every time I woke up from a nightmare, I had to listen to my heart beating under my skin to remind myself that I was no longer the evil, life-sucking monster I was before. I knew, I would never be forgiven for the lives I had drained, but knowing that I was in some way human, at least calmed me a little. It made me feel vulnerable though. Like I could no longer protect myself. I fought hard to shake off the icy cold feeling that overtook me whenever I thought of Strigoi.

"That's my understanding," Sydney said nodding in response to Rose's question.

Everyone was quiet for a moment and I studied Rose's face. She looked to be deep in thought, her eyes taking on that far away look she usually adorned when in Lissa's head. But she wasn't with Lissa now. She was just thinking hard. At last, she murmured quietly; "And that's why Strigoi don't bother them." The thought of Strigoi made my stomach curl, but the word coming from Rose's lips made me want to be sick. It was a dirty word to me now, one that just wracked my entire being with unshed guilt.

Rose's deep brown eyes locked with mine for a heart beat, before I quickly lowered my gaze. But even in that swift moment, I saw a hundred emotions run through her. She was apologising through her eyes. Even without saying it, Rose understood that the word 'Strigoi' was a sore point for me. We were always on the same wave-length.

I returned my gaze back to Rose. "I should check back in with Boris and see what he's found," I said shortly. I glanced over to Sydney. "It won't take long. We don't all need to go. Should I just take your car since I only have to go a little ways?"

Sydney shrugged her petite shoulders and grabbed her car keys from the desk beside the bed.

"You should still go," Rose said quickly, giving Sydney a level look. I kept my features neutral. This was one of those times when I knew _exactly _what Rose was thinking. She didn't want me to go alone. She worried for me. I groaned internally. I wished she wouldn't. I didn't want her to care for me. Life would be simpler if we had never met. I stopped then, mentally slapping myself. How could I think that? True, life probably would have been simpler. But then, I would never have known true love. Yes, it _was _true love between Rose and me. Well, it was for me anyway. I couldn't speak for Rose. But, it just proved that true love doesn't always last. People change. I had changed in the most drastic way possible. I didn't love Rose anymore, but I could never truly wish that I had never met her. Some of the best moments of my life happened while I was with Rose. Before the attack on St. Vlads, Rose was the only one who could really make me laugh. She made my day when I was down or missing my family. She had that natural charisma about her – one that just drew people in. _I _was one of those she drew in. Rose had caught me hook, line and sinker.

Rose was continuing with her usual trademark Rose-logic. "I need to check in on Lissa and I can usually still keep track of what's going on around me at the same time, but it might be better if you're away – especially in case the Alchemists do show up."

Her logic was dodgy and she knew it, as she kept averting her eyes so as not to make eye contact with me. "It's not necessary for Sydney to go out now. Its late. She needs to sleep."

"No, she doesn't mind. Do you Sydney?" she once again gave Sydney a look that said 'don't argue, just do it'. Sydney nodded and pushed me out the door, following closely behind.

"You know it really isn't necessary that you come." I told her. From someone else, the words may have come across as being harsh, but the way I said it made it sounds as though I was merely helping Sydney. And it retrospect, I didn't want to be rude. It wasn't my intention. I understood that Rose didn't want me to be alone in a time like this, reliving my past, but sometimes, being alone actually comforted me.

"It's alright. I don't mind." She shrugged her shoulders again as we slid into the car. It was frosty outside now and most of the Keepers had dispersed and heading inside for the night. A few stragglers still mingled by the open fire. "Besides, I think if I hadn't done what Rose wanted me to, she would have ripped my head off." Sydney always claimed she didn't like us, but I knew she secretly liked Rose. Just another example of Rose's irresistible charisma.

We rode down the beat up road in silence after that and soon reached a phone signal hotspot where we had learned Sydney's phone was able to get reception. She pulled the car to a stop on the side of the darkened road. It was only lit by a single street lamp and the cars headlights. "Stay in the car," I said quietly to Sydney. She gave me a puzzled look.

"It's dark out and we're in a remote area. Strigoi like these places."

Fear crossed her pale features and I hurried to reassure her. "I'm sure there are none around. Not so close to the Keepers. Like Raymond said, they stay away from there. This is just a precautionary action." I gave her a small smile.

"What about you? If you're on the phone, you won't be as aware of what's going on around you." She worried her bottom lip with her teeth. I suspected that it was very unlike her to worry for any sort of vampiric creature.

"I'll be fine. Got my trusty stake." I flashed the piece of charmed silver in the air for her to see before sliding it back into the pocket of my jeans. "Just stick to the car and you'll be right."

She nodded and I slid out of the passenger seat. I walked a few feet from the car to give myself a moment to compose myself and bring about my best acting skills.

Taking a deep breath, letting the cool air rush to my lungs, I dialled Boris' number and held the cell phone to my ear. After just two rings, Boris answered in English.

"Hello?" his Strigoi voice was distinctive, icy and emotionless, like a robot.

"Boris, it's Dimitri." A moment of silence followed before I heard the rustling of papers and Boris replied.

"_Ah yes, sir. I do have some news." _Boris replied, switching to Russian – his first language.

"_Well?" _my voice mirrored his. Harsh, cold and menacing. I hated myself more and more with every second that passed. I had been trying _so _hard to put this all behind me, but doing this had it all coming back to me in a tidal wave of emotions, making all my hard work seem utterly futile now.

"_I couldn't get in contact with Donovan..." _Boris said slowly.

"You couldn't get in contact with him?" I asked coldly. "I told you that you to get my the details I needed and now you tell me that you couldn't get in contact with him? Did it ever cross your idiotic brain that I might need to see Sonya Karp urgently?" as I spoke, my voice rose and grew angrier and scarier. The self hatred refused to give up.

"No sir, of course. I did get what you needed. Sort of. I was unable to get in contact with Donovan personally, but I did however come into possession of his address through someone else that knows him." Boris' voice shook a little. As far as Strigoi go, he was probably one of the only ones I had met who feared other Strigoi. He was older than me, and had been a Strigoi for five years after having been forcefully turned when he had been captured by a much older Strigoi while leaving a party. He used to be a Moroi. "He should know where Sonya Karp is."

"What's his address?" I asked still careful to keep as much menace in my voice as possible.

Boris quickly filled me in before I ended the call. I glance around and saw that Sydney was still in the car. She had the window down and was carefully watching me. I breathed out a big sigh, sagging to the ground up against an old oak tree. I felt exhausted. Just that single phone call had drained every ounce of energy I had before. I didn't realise Sydney had gotten out of the car – which was poor on my part - until she place her hand on my arm. I looked around quickly, assessing the area. Everything was clear. We were in a more open area, and the moonlight drifted in.

"Are you okay?" Sydney asked softly.

I instinctively shifted my arm from under hand, still not wanting any bodily contact. It made me uncomfortable. Sydney didn't appear to be hurt by it, so I didn't dwell on it. I nodded. "Yeah. Uhm, Boris got what I needed. So we're heading to Kentucky to find this guy, Donovan. He's pretty high up in power, not someone to be messed with lightly. And he doesn't do favours. So, we're going to need a plan." Everything I said came across in a monotone, unemotional. All of this guilt and hatred of myself was having an impact on my mental state. I was just _so _tired.

"Come on. Let's head back." Sydney moved back to allow me to get up from where I was sitting. I nodded and followed her back to the car.

The ride back to the Keepers was fairly silent. Sydney only asked once more if I was okay, to which I lied. And she knew I was lying. "I'm just tired." I told her quietly. "And I'm sorry if I scared you before. It was just an act. I'm not like that anymore." Sydney nodded in response to my apology but otherwise stayed silent.

I had never felt so vulnerable before, so small and defenceless. I needed to snap out of this. We had to find Lissa's sibling and clear Rose's name. That was what mattered now. _Leave the past in the past, Dimitri. There is no use in beating yourself up about this every single day. Nothing good will ever come of it. _I mentally shook myself out of this funk, wanting to get back to the Keepers and check on Rose. I would never admit it, but I was worried about her there on her own. She was strong, sure, but if she ever got into a fight with one of the Keepers alone, I doubted she would be able to hold them off for long. They overpowered her easily, being brawny in build rather than the slim, muscular build of Rose and me.

Sydney pulled the car back into a small car park and we trekked back along the path through the now empty fire clearing and into Raymond's house.

Before we reached the door to our room, I pulled Sydney to a halt. "Hey, could you uhm, not tell Rose about before? I don't want to give her another excuse to worry about me. She just needs to worry about herself for now."

Sydney nodded, her eyes clear and honest. I knew I could trust her. "Of course. You're right, she doesn't need anything extra to worry herself with."

We entered our room and found Rose sitting on the straw bed, her back against the wall. Her eyes were closed but I knew she was with Lissa.

"Rose." I knelt beside her, lightly touching her arm. I didn't want to alarm her out of Lissa's head. "Rose!" I said a little louder, shaking her gently. Her eyes flew open and she looked into my own. Hers searched mine for a moment, attempting to decipher how everything went just by looking into my eyes.

"Hey," she said, blinking her eyes, bringing herself back into the bedroom in West Virginia. "You're back. You called the Strigoi?" Although the word still hit me hard, I reminded myself I what I promised myself before. _Don't beat yourself up about it. _None of it was my fault. I just wished I had been stronger and able to overpower the Strigoi in the cave in Montana.

"Yes. I got a hold of Boris's contact."

"Crazy conversation. Some of it was in English. It was even scarier than before." She shivered and wrapped her arms around herself.

"But did you find out anything?" Rose asked, her once sleepy eyes now bright and ready for action.

"Boris gave me the name of a Strigoi who knows Sonya and probably knows where she is," I told her. "It's actually someone I've met. But, phone calls only go so far with Strigoi. There's no way to contact him – except to go in person. Boris only had his address." I told her grimly. The last thing I wanted was to actually go the residence of Donovan, but if it had to be done, then we were going to have to work something out.

"Where is it?" Rose asked.

"Lexington, Kentucky."

"Oh for God's sake," Rose groaned and threw up her hands. "Why not the Bahamas? Or the Corn Palace?"

I fought back the smile that threatened to escape my lips. Only Rose would expect a Strigoi to live somewhere as sunny as the Bahamas.

"If we leave right now, we can catch him before morning,"

Rose pretended to ponder this for a moment as she stroked her chin to 'gain extra wisdom'. "Hmm, tough choice. Leave all this for electricity and plumbing?"

Sydney laughed quietly. "And no more marriage proposals." She added.

"And we'll probably have to fight Strigoi," I put in, pretending to act as though it was a bad thing. I smiled mischievously.

"How soon can we leave?" Rose jumped to her feet and did a little fist pump in the air.

We laughed at her before getting ready to leave the Keepers.

**AN.**

**Alrighhty, so I don't know if you all saw my previous AN about my idea to have you guys PM or review and let me know what you want me to write. Remember; ****im leaving it up to all you lovely readers to review or PM me with your favourite chapters from the series *except Last Sacrifice* and tell me from whose POV you would like me to write it from. **

**EXAMPLE: say you adore chapter one of Vampire Academy, and want me to write it from Dimitri's POV or Lissa's even; you would do this:**

**Book: Vampire Academy.**

**Chapter: 1.**

**POV: Dimitri. **

**Please roll with me on this one. It's something I want to try, but I need you guys to contribute. **

**Reviewwws for this chapter? (: **

**Merry Christmas and a happy new year to everyone ! its 1:30am and I'm beat, so leave me some love to wake up to on Christmas Eve morning. It'll be a faaabulous early Christmas present from you charming readers.**

**Love;**

**Bronte~ xox**


	9. Chapter 9

_This is two chapters of LS in one. It chapter fourteen and fifteen. One wasn't long enough ! _

_Just a quick warning, there are some more graphic details in this chapter, some Dimitri flashbacks and nightmares. So if you are uncomfortable with blood and gore, i'm really sorry ! its not too bad though. _

_T+ rating for this chapter just to be safe._

_Enjoy and leave me some love at the end (:_

Chapter 9.

We waited out the last hour before the Keepers awoke by packing our meagre belongings into our backpacks. Soon, the sounds of people moving about the house signalled that it was time for our small group to move on. "You guys ready?" I asked the two girls. I had had my back to them as I stuffed a shirt into my bag and I turned around just in time to see Rose pulling a clean shirt on over her head. Her slender yes muscular torso seemed to go on forever right down to her soft hips. I knew for a fact that her skin was warm and soft. All those times I had held her in my arms, ran my calloused fingers across her tanned skin, relished in her chocolate locks – the memories flooded my mind, and I was for the moment, mesmerised by this exotic beauty once again.

"Yep, we're ready." Rose said, turning around. She didn't notice that I was slightly dazed from appraising her body. I didn't understand these feelings. It wasn't love. It couldn't have been love. I was unable to love anyone anymore. That's just how my life would be now. I had come to accept that. But, now, with these old feelings resurfacing, I was baffled by the jolt I felt in my heart when I stared into Rose's beautiful eyes.

I shoved the last of our stuff into my backpack and lead the way out the door. All of Raymond's family were awake and bustling around the kitchen setting up for breakfast. Raymond saw us enter the kitchen and paused with a plate of bacon in his hand.

"Are you leaving us?" he asked surprised.

"Yeah. It's time for us to move on. Thank you so much for your hospitality. You have all be too kind to us." I said graciously.

"Oh but you are very safe here. No one comes by," he paused to look at Sydney. "Except for the occasional Alchemist. But we can hide you from them."

"We appreciate that. But we really do need to move on. We have somewhere to be before sunrise."

"At least stay for breakfast?" Paulette asked, gesturing toward the platters of bacon, eggs and sausages. Toast was just being placed on the table. I felt my stomach grumble and realised that it had been a while since I ate a full meal. I found it hard to stomach a lot of food now. It was unnatural to me to need to consume actual food. And, Rose and I would need energy in case we came across Strigoi before we reached Donovan.

"Yes, we can stay for breakfast," Rose jumped in quickly, appraising the crispy bacon with deep longing shining in her eyes. She looked at me. "Can't we Dimitri?"

Giving in, we sat around the ornately carved wooden dining table with the Keepers. Conversation was slow, and we mostly just sat in silence.

"So," Raymond began. "Where are you all headed?" he asked.

Sydney looked to me, conveying the need for secrecy with her eyes.

"Uh, we're going to go south. Stay hidden for a while. There's something we have to do, so we need to get moving on it." I said evasively.

Sensing that I was not going to elaborate any further on the matter, the Keepers fell into silence once again.

When breakfast was over, we quickly helped to clear the table, ignoring Paulette's futile protests to let her handle it. I explained that I was raised in a family of four children. Around my house, you didn't eat for nothing. If you weren't willing to help clean up after, you didn't eat. It was just the way my mother had raised me. Helping mama out around the house, built my respect for everything she did for me and my sisters.

"Thank you very much for taking us in." Sydney said graciously to Raymond.

"You're very welcome. And if you run into trouble and need a secure place to stay, don't hesitate to come back." He gave us a genuine smile.

Raymond hesitated a moment before asking; "I don't suppose you know when someone is coming? It has been quite a while since we had a visit." His question was directed at Sydney. Apparently the Alchemists brought along supplies every so often. It was usually medical supplies and anything they needed to get through their day to day lives.

Sydney shook her head. "I haven't been in contact with the Alchemists for a while," she gestured evasively to us. "I'm sure you understand why. But, if it has been more than a couple of months, I'm sure someone will be around soon. You haven't been forgotten."

Raymond nodded and led us to the door. We grabbed our bags and started down the path to Sydney's SUV.

"Wait!" Someone called behind us. I turned around to see Angeline running toward us. "You have to take me with you," she said desperately, clutching Rose's arm between her hands.

Rose looked taken aback as she pulled her arm away from the younger Dhampir. "Sorry," she said. "We have to do this alone."

Angeline's eyes widened as her desperation grew. Sydney and I exchanged a look of confusion. What in the world was going on here?

"I can help! You beat me . . . but you saw what I can do. I'm good. I could take a Strigoi." Realisation washed over me. Ah, so that's what all this was about. She wanted to fight Strigoi. From observing her fight against Rose I knew she had potential to do great things. However, there was absolutely no way in hell that she would stand a chance against a Strigoi who was ten time faster and a hundred times stronger than her, not to mention much more experienced in fighting. No, there was no way she would be going anywhere near a Strigoi any time soon.

Rose appraised Angeline closely. "You might be able to," Rose said slowly. I watched her, puzzled. I couldn't work out what she was thinking. Was she seriously considering letting an untrained seventeen year old Dhampir come on our wild goose chase that could possibly end with us being killed? After closer inspection upon Rose, I came to the conclusion that, no, she did not want Angeline with us. She was letting her down gently. Once again, I felt my heart swell at her considerateness toward the younger girl. Rose knew what it was like to want to fight, to make a difference in the world we lived in so we would not always have to live in fear that evil lurked just around the next corner. I knew it was how she felt, because it was exactly how I felt. After seeing all that evil, all those innocent people having their precious lives taken away from the so brutally and cruelly, just fuelled the burning fire within me to rid the world of Strigoi. If I had to, I would attempt to do it myself. No one deserved to die at the cold, hard hands of a Strigoi. It truly was the worst death.

"Please," Angeline was begging now. "It's not just the Strigoi! I want to see the world. I _need _to see something outside of this place!" she pleaded quietly. If I had been standing any further away, I would not have been able to hear her low murmurs to Rose. "I've only been to Rubysville twice, and they say that's nothing compared to other cities."

"It's not." Rose agreed.

They spoke quietly back and forth for a few minutes. With every word Angeline spoke, her voice grew more and more desperate. I felt bad for her. Growing up in Baia, a very small village in the middle of nowhere Russia, I knew what it was like to lead a sheltered life. Granted, I hadn't been holed up in the forest with rogue vampires, but my whole childhood and into my teens had been spent at school training and at home with my mother and sisters. I hadn't had much of a social life.

Angeline took one last look at Rose, her eyes glistening with unshed tears before she raced off into the woods.

Once we were back out on the open West Virginia road – with Sydney driving of course – Rose and I agreed we would be able to sleep a little before we reached Lexington where we would be dropping in on Donovan at his night lair.

Rose drifted off to sleep fairly quickly, while I stayed awake, unable to relax my mind into a lull. I was tired. So tired. Sleeping was still a problem for me. Every time I allowed the blackness to envelope me, I saw things. _Terrible things. _More than once I had awoken with sweat pouring down my neck. Not much scared me, but this . . . these memories, they terrified me. They _haunted _me. Day and night. An endless punishing force constantly pushed at my weary mind, assaulting me with the images I desperately wanted to banish forever into the fiery pits of Hell.

Taking a deep breath, knowing I needed to sleep in order to conserve energy, I shoved my iPod headphones into my ears, putting the music on medium volume, trying to drown out the horrific images that plagued me. Unfortunately, I still dreamed. No, not dreamed. I was wracked with nightmares.

This time, my subconscious mind brought back my first few days of my new life. My thirst for blood was almost insatiable. The constant watering of my mouth, the burning sensation in my throat and the empty, hollow feeling in my stomach drove me off the edge of insanity. I had turned into my old-self's worst nightmare.

I drained the lives of thirteen people in the space of twelve hours. From dusk till dawn, I ripped at the throats of innocents, relished in their pain. I gleefully watched as the life drain from their eyes, a sadistic smile twisting my once pleasant features.

I tore my way through several cities, preying on young girls. Girls were my victim of choice. For some reason, they tasted _so _much sweeter. And the screams. Oh, how I loved the screaming. Their undying fear only spurred me on even more, making the kill that much more exciting.

"Dimitri!" someone was shaking me.

"Dimitri! Wake up!" the voice was urgent, yet quiet. The shaking didn't stop.

With another shove, my eyes flew open. My heart was pounding and I was covered in sweat.

"Are you okay?" Sydney's soft voice floated to me. Even though my heart was wreaking havoc in my chest, I revelled in it. It made me feel more human.

"Uh, yeah. I'm alright." Why did Sydney always have to witness me when I was at my most vulnerable state? I wondered if the fact that she knew I could hurt and be frightened made her less afraid of me?

I shifted in my seat to peer at Rose. Her eyes we closed but she wasn't sleeping. She was paying a visit to Lissa.

Turning back to Sydney I asked; "What . . . what did I do?" I was afraid of the answer. Did I start thrashing around in my seat? Say anything menacing?

"Nothing really," Sydney averted her eyes back to the road. "You just started mumbling and getting really restless."

I groaned and slumped back against my seat. "Don't tell Rose, please?" I murmured.

"I won't." Sydney said.

"She worries about you, you know?"

"I don't want her to worry about me. She shouldn't be concerning herself with what's going on with me. She needs to focus on herself right now. Rose is who counts in all of this. Not me." My words came out a little harsher than I intended them to. Everything I said was true. Every minute Rose spent worrying about me was another minute she wasn't thinking about getting herself out of this alive and safe.

"Do you think that if she didn't care about you she would have gone to Russia?" Sydney asked. "She risked her life and left Vasilisa so she could save you. She was a mess when I met her."

I tried to push aside my manifesting guilty conscience. "It doesn't matter. I don't love her anymore. I _can't _love her anymore. I can't love anyone."

Sydney dropped her eyes from me, refocusing on the road. I could tell she wanted to say something else, but she kept quiet, for which I was thankful.

"Watch it!" I said quickly as a Mercedes Benz cut right in front of Sydney's SUV. Sydney slammed her foot on the break, causing us all to jolt forward in our seats.

"Sorry," Sydney muttered as Rose grumbled at being brought back into the car.

"Where are we?" Rose asked.

"Outskirts of Lexington." Sydney said as we pulled into a gas station. We were now in a suburban area rather than country. Even though it was still the middle of the human night, there were many more cars on the road than there had been when we left the Keepers.

"It isn't a great part of town, from what I hear," I told them as Sydney programmed in Donovan's address into her GPS. "Donovan runs a tattoo parlour that's only open at night. A couple of other Strigoi work with him. They get partiers, drunk kids . . . the kind of people that can easily disappear. The kind Strigoi love." I shuddered at my own words. I had been one to go after the stupid girls. Lure them away, playing the guy who just wanted a quick one night stand with a petty teenager. They always fell for it in their drunk, sometimes drug hazed state of mind. Then I made the kill.

I shook my head roughly, once again attempting to banish the memories that battered against me.

"Seems like the police would eventually notice that every time someone went for a tattoo, they disappeared," Rose said.

I laughed humourlessly. "Well, the 'funny' thing is that they don't kill everyone who comes in. They actually give tattoos to some of them and let them go. They smuggle drugs through the place too."

Rose raised her eyebrows at me questioningly. As thought she suspected me of doing this too. "You sure know a lot about it." She said sceptically as Sydney slipped back into the SUV.

I shook my head to squash her suspicions. "I made it my business to know a lot, and Strigoi have to keep a roof over their heads too. I actually met Donovan once and got most of this straight from the source. I just didn't know where exactly he worked out of until now." I said cynically. To stay alive as a Strigoi, particularly as a young Strigoi, you had to know everyone and everything there was to know about them.

"Okay, so we've got the info on him. What do we do with it?" Rose asked.

Good thing I had thought about that. "Lure him out. Send in a 'customer' with a message from me needing to meet him. I'm not the kind of person he can ignore – well, that he used to not – never mind. Once he's out, we get him to a place _we _choose.

Rose nodded grimly. "I can do that."

I shook my head, having already known she was going to think it was her. "No, you can't."

"Why not?" she asked indignantly. She thought I didn't think she could do it.

"Because they'll know you're a Dhampir the instant the see you. They'll probably smell it first. No Strigoi would have a Dhampir working for him – only humans." I said the last part carefully and slowly, allowing the full weight of my words to register with the girls. Yes, that meant Sydney. She was our only real hope, and even then it would be hard. There was no way Rose or I could get anywhere near that place without being detected first.

"No!" Sydney cried. "I am _not _doing that!"

Sighing, I said; "I don't like it either, but we don't have a lot of options. If he thinks you work for me, he won't hurt you."

"Yeah? And what happens if he doesn't believe me?" Sydney's cheeks were tinged with pink and her anger – and most likely, fear – built.

"I don't think he can take the chance. He'll probably go with you and check things out, with the idea that if you're lying, they'll just kill you then."

Rose broke the silence that had once again fallen over the group. "You can't send her in. They'll know she's an Alchemist. One of those wouldn't work for Strigoi either."

I groaned in the realisation that she was right. I hadn't considered that. With the intricate golden lily that was tattooed on Sydney's cheek, anyone in our world would know instantly that she was an Alchemist. Well there went that plan. I was beginning to formulate a new plan when Sydney spoke up.

"When I was in the gas station they had, like, one rack of makeup. We could probably cover most of my tattoo with powder." She looked to me.

I nodded in assent.

Rose and Sydney slipped out of the car and went into the gas station. They emerged a few minutes later with a small compact of foundation. Once back in the car, Rose went to work covering up the lily that covered most of Sydney's cheek. I could tell immediately that the colour wasn't right with her skin, but we were in no position to pick and choose. The colour was almost an orange-ish tone on Sydney. They had to cake it on to cover her whole face and the tattoo, but a few moments later, she was ready to go in and face the Strigoi in the tattoo place.

We moved off out of the gas station and made the short five mile trip to Donovan's.

Everything was set to go. We had found a place not far from Donovan's tattoo parlour to stake out until Sydney came back with him.

"Sydney, come here for a second." I motioned her to me. She looked terrified. "I'm going to tell you what you need to do, and I mean it when I say you have to stick to these instructions as best you can. Okay?" I softened my voice a little so as not to scare her any more than she already was.

Sydney nodded.

"You want to look awed, okay? Humans who serve Strigoi worship them – they are always eager to please them. Because they spend a lot of time around Strigoi, they aren't as startled or terrified. They are still a little afraid, of course, but not as much as you look now."

"I can't really help it." She said. I felt bad about this. I didn't want her to be frightened. It wasn't fair on her. She was helping us so much already and we were about to send her into a place with the creatures she feared so much.

Rose flung her arms around Sydney in a hug. I was surprised she didn't pull back. "You can do this," Rose said encouragingly. "You're strong – and they're too afraid of Dimitri. Okay?"

"You are going to be okay, Sydney." I reached out and gave her a small pat on the shoulder.

She took a deep breath and walked away in the direction of Donovan's.

"We may have just sent her to her death." Rose said grimly as we watched the Alchemist go.

"I know – but we can't do anything now." I turned back to rose. "You'd better get into position." We had discussed our plan when we left the gas station. We were in a back alley two buildings away from the tattoo parlour. A low brick building flanked on side and a barbed wire fence stood along the other. Rose was to take up post on the roof of the low building and wait.

I laced my fingers together and she placed one foot into the net of my hands. I hoisted her up easily, making sure she was safely on the roof. I had to note how well we still worked together. We were always perfectly in sync. Rose crouched down low on the roof. She looked amazing. Her long loosely curled hair fanned in the slight breeze blowing through, her skin luminous against the shining moonlight.

"You ready?" she asked quietly. I blinked my eyes rapidly a few times, pulling myself out of my trance.

"Yep." I said with a deep sigh.

I moved around the opposite side of the building to where Sydney had gone.

"And now we wait," I murmured to myself.

The waiting was almost unbearable, knowing that Sydney, a perfectly innocent human in all of this supernatural mess was in there risking everything she had. After what felt like years, but was only minutes, footsteps sounded down the path. I gripped my stake tighter in my hand, ready, waiting.

"Belikov?" Donovan's harsh, cold voice called to me. I shivered, then, pulling myself together, slipped into the painfully oh too familiar role of Strigoi. "Where are you?"

"I'm here," I responded in my most terrible lifeless Strigoi voice. I moved into Donovan's line of sight. He relaxed visibly, seeing it was me, but then he focused on me properly. I knew what he saw. Tanned skin. Brown eyes. The attributes of a human. It defied all logic and Donovan's beliefs. One of Donovan's guys jerked around, his face crinkling.

"Dhampirs." He snarled. He hadn't seen Rose yet, but he was about to. Rose jumped just in time to get him to the ground. She had her stake aimed at his heart but he was quick, _really _quick. He shoved her back.

But then I had to rid Rose from my mind for the moment. Donovan and his guy had come for me, obviously taking me for the bigger threat over a small eighteen year old. But no matter, I was ready for them.

I knocked Donovan away as he came for me, red hot rage flaring up within me. With the adrenaline coursing through every fibre in my body I slashed out at the other Strigoi with my stake. I missed his heart, but I swiped his arm, causing him to scream in pain. He recovered from it quickly though and lunged at me again, fangs bared, ready to attack. He grabbed me, his hands finding their purchase on my neck. One twist and it would all be over. For me. However he had made a serious mistake. By using both hands to grab from the front, he had left his chest wide open for me. I shoved my stake into his heart with as much force as I could, throwing my entire weight behind it. The stake broke through his sternum and I forced it upward to pierce his dead, cold heart. I looked into his fiery red eyes as they 'life' faded from him. His once vice grip on my neck slackened and he fell in a heap at my feet. I pulled my stake out of his chest in disgust and shoved him against the wall roughly, slamming his body against the brick.

In that moment I heard an impact behind me. Rose had flung her body at Donovan who was advancing on me from behind.

"Dimitri!" Roza's voice pulled me back. "Come help me. I need you!" I whipped around and in a flash was beside Rose, a guttural roar of fury rising in my throat. In my white hot anger I positioned my stake with Donovan's heart. I needed this. I had to kill him. It was the only way. All Strigoi had to die. I had to do it.

In the distance I heard someone calling to me. But I fazed it out. All that was here was me and the evil. All evil had to be gone. Ridding the world of Strigoi was my job.

I felt something hit my face. I'd just been slapped. The anger diminished slightly and I turned to face my attacker. Roza. Her chocolate eyes sought out my own. "Don't kill him!" She said desperately. Her eyes conveyed her desperation even more than her voice did. In our brief pause, Donovan began to move beneath us. As one, Rose and I threw all our weight into shoving him against the pavement once again.

I gripped the Strigoi by the shoulders and slammed him hard against the ground repeatedly, causing his head to smash into the concrete with each blow.

"Where is Sonya Karp?" I growled.

"I don't – " I slammed him against the ground once, twice more.

"Lies," I snarled. "Where is she? I know you know her!"

"I – "

"_Where. Is. She?" _I bellowed.

Donovan blanched in fear, trying to get away from me.

"Paris!," he gasped. "She's in Paris!" Donovan squirmed under my unrelenting hold on him.

"Christ," Rose cried in exasperation. "We _cannot _road trip to Paris." I couldn't agree more.

"More information," I growled, shaking his body again.

"It's a small town – an hour away. There's this tiny lake. Hardly anyone on it. Blue house." That was enough for me.

I whipped my silver stake around as fast as I could and shoved it into the monsters heart as hard as I could. In a blind rage of guilt and anguish, ripping the stake out of his heart, I plunged it in again. And again. Over and over. _This is the only way. The only way to stop everything. The nightmares. They have to stop. _I couldn't go on like this anymore.

"He's dead, Dimitri! He's dead! Stop this. Please." _Her _voice. I had to stop this. But, no. I could not. _This is the only way. There is no other choice. It has to be me. I have to . . ._ the voice in my head grew more and more desperate.

"He's dead! Let it go. _Please_. He's dead." And it brought me back. Her voice, it was my saviour. Suddenly my stake felt heavy, a dead weight. My hand fell down beside me and I slumped. I stared unseeingly at Donovan. Violence littered his body. Despair filled every cell in my body. My chest felt heavy, yet hollow somehow. It was as though everything was gone. There would be no redemption for me.

A tugging on my arm forced me to look away from the bloody corps on the ground. "It's over. You've done enough." She spoke gently, soothingly.

I shook my head in anguish. "It will never be enough, Roza." I whispered. My throat constricted. "It's never enough."

"It is for now," she murmured, pulling me closer to her. In that instant, I knew I needed her. I needed someone to lean on. She was the only one I had left. My stake fell from my hand, landing on the blood soaked ground with a clatter and I buried my face in her neck, taking a small amount of comfort in her warmth. Dropping her stake as well, she wrapped her arms around my neck, holding me close. I let my hand snake around her waist, wanting nothing more than to just stand here, having an understanding between us that no one could ever understand themselves. It wasn't intimate, yet it was too private to speak of.

"You're the only one." I held her more tightly, seeking the support and comfort from another human being. "The only one who could ever understand. The only one who saw how I was. I could never explain it to anyone . . . you are the only one. The only one I can tell all of this to . . . "

For the first time in months, I felt a little of the weight that had been sitting in the pit of my stomach finally being lifted at my admission to Rose. Every confession saw a little of my old feelings seep back in. I loved holding her. I never wanted to let her go. For so long now, since the day I met her, we had been in perfect harmony together, constantly knowing the other even more than they knew themselves. We moulded together perfectly. But she was with Adrian. So it didn't matter. Right now all I needed – craved – was a friend. A friend I knew didn't have an ounce of condemnation in them. She would always take me for who I am.

I pulled my head back from the crest between her shoulder and neck. Seeking her gaze, she met my intense eyes. "It's okay," she stroked my cheek with a feather light touch. I shivered, yet my cheek burned. "It's okay now. I'm here. I will always be here for you." Roza rested her hands on my chest, conveying her comfort with a simple touch.

I had one more confession. All those times I had told Sydney not to say anything meant that I was just bottling it up. "I dream about them, you know." I breathed, my voice trembling. "All those innocents I killed." My voice cracked on the last word. I unwillingly let my gaze drift back to where Donovan lay, dead. Really dead. His body was ruined. The wide gaping hole in his chest where my stake had repeatedly slashed and stabbed brutally made my blood run ice cold. I shivered again, even in the warm embrace of Rose's arms. "I keep thinking . . . that maybe if I destroy enough Strigoi, the nightmares will go away. That I will be certain I'm not one of them anymore.

Rose's soft, small hand touched me gently on the chin, turning my face back to facing her. "No. You have to destroy Strigoi because it is what we do. If you want the nightmares to go away, you have to _live. _That's the only way. We could have died just now. We didn't. Maybe we'll die tomorrow. I don't know. What mattered is that we're alive now." I looked into her eyes, getting lost in their soft depths. I had always admired Rose's outlook on life. She was always positive. She took on the attitude 'where there's a will, there's a way'. Sometimes, I wished I had the same view.

"Remember what you said earlier?" she murmured. "Back in Rubysville? Living is in the details. You've got to appreciate the details. That's the only way to defeat what the Strigoi did to you. The only way to bring back who you really are. You said it yourself: you escaped with me to feel the world again. Its beauty."

"There's nothing beautiful here," I noted dully. "Only death."

"That's only true if you let them make it true." She said, gripping my arms tightly within her hands. "Find one thing. One thing that's beautiful. Anything. Anything that shows you're not one of them."

I looked around the alley we stood in. Blood pooled in puddles around us, drops of crimson liquid on the wall of the building. Bodies littered the floor, still bleeding holes gaping in their chests. There was nothing but horrible images. There was nothing beautiful. Just death and violence.

I looked back at Rose and realisation hit me. There was beauty in this world. I had been looking at it all along. I just never realised it. Her hair. It cascaded down to the middle of her back in long flowing thick locks. To run my fingers through it felt like touching silk.

"Your hair," I murmured ever so quietly.

"What?" A puzzled look washed across Rose's face. She brushed her fingers through a lock of her hair that had fallen loose around her face.

"Your hair," I repeated. "Your hair is beautiful."

A small smile played across her supple pink lips. "You see? You're not one of them. Strigoi don't see beauty. Only death. You found something beautiful. One thing that is beautiful."

The need to touch her hair burned through me and I reached out my hand, letting my fingers finally, for the first time in months, feel the glorious silky feeling of her hair running between my fingers. "But is it enough?" I asked hesitantly.

"It is for now." She leaned toward me, pressing a kiss to my forehead. Where her lips made contact with my skin, I felt a tingling sensation. I relished in it. Rose's eyes caught mine again. "It is for now." Rose whispered.

_Leave me some love my loyal readers ! _

_~Bronte xox. _


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER TEN – Redemtion?**

**Disclaimer: All rights belong to Richelle Mead. I only own Dimitri's thoughts and some dialogue. **

**Enjoy the brand new chapter and leave me some love at the end ! **

Rose and I stood in our places for a moment, relishing in the fact that we were still alive, albeit completely and utterly messed up. I turned to Rose, needing to thank her for her help. Once again, this amazing woman had pulled me out of that dangerous place that scared me. She was always there, ready to lend a shoulder to lean on since day one. And now, I realized I had never spoken my appreciation for her. I knew, though, deep down inside, why I had never thanked her. If I did, it would only be sending the wrong message. Rose needed to realise that I couldn't be _with _her, or anyone else for that matter. I knew it was cowardly, but I didn't want to ignite new hope within her. Rose had enough troubles to contend herself with. I didn't need to add to those. Regardless, though, after tonight, there was a need to thank her. I had finally begun to feel some amount of redemption, however small, and it was all thanks to Rose.

"Rose, I . . ." I trailed off, unsure of how to proceed. It was a foreign thing for me, not being able to voice what I wanted to say.

"Shh," Rose hushed me, bringing a finger to my lips to quiet me. "You don't need to say anything. I already know." She gave me a small, half-smile. I tugged her hand down from my face, allowing my fingers to brush against her warm skin.

"But I need to say it, Rose. You saved me back there. I was on the cusp, once again, of becoming the monster I so loath. You brought be back from that. If you weren't there . . ." I shuddered involuntarily, fighting the shaking in my knees that was attempting to bring me to the bloodied ground. I took a deep breath and continued; "If you weren't there, I can't even begin to imagine the mess I would have been in. _You _saved me, Roza." Steeling myself, I extended my hand to lightly graze against her cheek, trying to ignore that spark that jolted through me upon the contact. "You were amazing out there, you know. I have never seen you fight so well." I spoke tenderly.

"Well, I had a good teacher," Rose said rather gruffly with a smile.

"Rose! Dimitri?" Sydney's voice sounded from around the corner. For a moment, I had all but forgotten the Alchemist was even here. I mentally reprimanded myself. There was no excuse when it came to protecting others. Sydney should have been both of our concern as soon as the last Strigoi fell. For all we knew, there could have been someone waiting for Sydney. She could have been dead.

Upon hearing Sydney's approaching footsteps, I dropped my hand from Rose's face and we drew apart, allowing for a normal distance between us. Immediately, I missed the contact with her warm, familiar skin.

"We're just here, Sydney," Rose called, her voice slightly hoarse. "It's all over, and we're fine." Sydney rounded the corner then and a look of shock fell over her face.

"You guys are . . . well, you're both a mess." She looked a little pale as she looked us each over in turn. "I'll um, get rid of those, shall I?" she gestured to the dead Strigoi bodies laying a few feet from where Rose and I stood.

Rose and I stood back as Sydney busied herself with incinerating the dead bodies. I wrinkled my nose as the bodies sizzled and the smoke curled up from them. I swallowed the lump of disgust that had formed in my throat.

When Sydney was done, Rose made to move toward her. Sydney took a step back, her face green.

"Are you okay?" Rose asked her gently, not advancing any further.

"I – yeah I'm fine," she said, clearing her throat uncomfortably. "You on the other hand, are not. You really need to get changed." She attempted a small smile. "And you, too." She said in my direction.

Without another word, we all made our way back to the SUV. "I really hope you guys don't stain the car," Sydney said with a small smile tugging at her lips.

After depositing our jackets in the back of the car, we were back on the road, although we had no real destination in mind for the moment.

Rose turned in her seat to look at me. "Are we going to Paris?"

"Paris?" Sydney's voice sounded genuinely startled. Images of the Eiffel Tower and the Arc de Triomphe were probably flashing through her mind now.

"Paris, Kentucky," I muttered to reassure Sydney that we would not have to leave the country and go gallivanting around France. To Rose, I said; "Not yet. We should wait until daytime. We had to go for Donovan now, but if Sonya's got a house, she's probably there all the time," I allowed my head to slump back against the headrest. I was exhausted and overly in need of sleep. "Safer for us in the daytime." I murmured sleepily. "Just find a hotel to stay at for now."

Sydney and Rose spoke quietly for a moment, but I tuned them out, focusing instead on my breathing. It was one of the few things that relaxed my entire body and it had also helped me fall asleep when I was on guardian duty. Guardians sometimes had to go long periods without sleeping, which meant that you had to be able to sleep whenever you were given the opportunity. Focusing on breathing had been the only thing that I found worked.

"Dimitri," the sound of my name falling from Rose's lips made me open my eyes suddenly. I felt tired and sluggish. I hadn't meant to fall asleep. "We're here," she murmured, knowing I had been sleeping. I sighed and stretched out my arms and legs, feeling a little of the pent up tension evaporate, but I was by no means completely relaxed.

After checking into the hotel, which was much nicer than the one in Virginia, we all retired to our double room. No one said anything about the fact that we were sharing. After a night like tonight, we were best off staying together.

"Shower. Now." Rose said, pushing me lightly toward the bathroom. I was too tired to protest or insist that she shower first, so I complied.

The bathroom was stark and white, with towels lining the wall. I turned on the water and began to peel off my ruined clothes. I glanced at myself in the mirror. Cuts littered my arms and neck and I had a small gash above my eye that was still slowly oozing blood. I studied my reflection for a moment. My face looked gaunt and pale. Too pale. It reminded me shockingly of the paleness of a Strigoi's skin. I shuddered and turned away.

The scalding hot water of the shower washed away all the dirt and blood from my skin. It also helped to relax my tightened muscles in my back and neck particularly. I hadn't realized until then that I had a pulsing headache. I put it down to the cut and bump to my head.

I left the bathroom, dressed in fresh shorts and a clean t-shirt. I felt much better than I had twenty minutes previous. It was amazing what a shower could do for your wellbeing.

After I shooed Rose into the bathroom to shower, I grudgingly allowed Sydney to clean up my severed skin.

"You alright?" she asked as she dabbed disinfectant over the gash on my head. I didn't flinch at the stinging sensation it produced. I had shown enough weakness tonight for the rest of my life. Sydney didn't need to see me like that. Again.

"Yeah, I'm fine. You?" Sydney just nodded in response and continued to bandage up all my more serious cuts. I didn't even know how I had gotten them. When she finished with me, Sydney moved onto a freshly showered Rose.

When Sydney deemed us presentable once more, she produced her laptop from her bag and searched for a map of Paris, Kentucky. Rose and I sat beside her at the small table in our room, peering at the screen.

"Do you think that's it?" Rose asked, pointing a jagged nail at a small blue mark on the map that told us it was called APPLEWOOD POND.

"Maybe. Ah, there's another pond. That could be a suspect too or – oh! Right here?" Rose's eyes were alight with excitement as she pointed to another, much larger body of water called MARTIN LAKE.

I nodded and yawned. I blinked a couple of times, trying to fight off the impending fatigue. "That looks like the most likely option. If not, I don't think it will take long to drive around the other ones." I ventured, yawning yet again.

A few words were exchanged, but eventually, we all agreed, Sydney included, that we would rest up and then head for Kentucky tomorrow.

"Bed, Roza," I said quietly while Sydney slipped into the bathroom to wash up before bed. "You need to rest now." Rose was curled up in a loveseat beside the window, and she gazed out into the starlit sky.

"It's a beautiful night," she said, gesturing to the sky. I agreed with her. The stars shone brightly and the moon was full, casting a soft glow across our room.

"It is," I murmured in response. "Come on, Rose. We all need to sleep. We'll leave around noon tomorrow." Slowly she stood and stretched out her limbs.

Brushing my shoulder lightly with her hand, as she walked past, Rose whispered; "Goodnight, comrade." I stood frozen for a moment, remembering the warmth her touch spread throughout my body. Her use of my old nickname sparked a sense of longing – longing for my old life.

"Night, Roza." I murmured as I slid into the other bed. Sydney came out of the bathroom a moment later and quietly got into bed beside Rose.

I lay on my side, back to the girls, and stared out at the night sky. A million thoughts raced through my head, and I couldn't quiet them to allow myself to sleep. Sighing, I turned over and lay my head down again. Rose was facing my bed, her eyes shut and her breathing even. She was asleep. _So beautiful, _my subconscious whispered as I watched her sleep.

Eventually, I succumbed to exhaustion and the darkness pulled me under.

Nightmares plagued my sleep once again, never failing to emit that frightened, vulnerable feeling within me. However this nightmare was a new one. And very, very real. A memory.

_We were almost out of the cave, I could taste the freedom and safety of the light outside. I few more feet, and we would all be safe. _

_Rose was just ahead of me and I yearned to reach out and grab her, rush her to safety. I was terrified. If something happened to her because of all this . . . I swallowed back my fear and concentrated on the task at hand. _

_It all happened so quickly. We were oh so close to the exit, to freedom, when three Strigoi appeared from nowhere, charging at us. I readied myself for the attack. _

_I saw one Strigoi lunge at Celeste. Grabbing her by the waist, he leaned in and sunk his teeth into her exposed neck. I bit back the bile threatening to rise in my throat, watching helplessly as the life was sucked from one of my colleagues. The other captured someone I couldn't see. _Please, don't be Rose! _My subconscious begged. _

_What I wasn't prepared for was the cold, hard hands that wrapped around my neck. For the first time in as long as I could remember, I panicked, frozen with fear. _No, no. Fight, Belikov. Fight.

_Basic survival instincts kicked in and, agonisingly slowly, I forced my body to move. But the Strigoi already had the element of surprise over me. I had hesitated. Damn it, I had _hesitated!

_His strong, lifeless hands pulled me forcefully to the ground, but I wasn't going down without a fight. We grappled for what seemed like an eternity, neither of us gaining on the other. This Strigoi was young and obviously a Moroi before he had been turned. I had the advantage of skill, but he had inhuman strength and incredible speed that I couldn't match. Slowly, my efforts began to wane as the blonde Strigoi took the upper hand, forcing my head to the side. I was losing. _

_In that moment, I knew it was all over. I was going to die on the cold hard floor of this cave and there was nothing to be done about it. I felt my heart ache. Just hours ago, I had been blissfully happy, wrapped in Roza's arms, letting my love for her consume every fibre of my being. And now, after it seemed like we had everything figured out, our futures planned out together, it was being ripped cruelly from me. I was never going to have that fairy tale ending with my true love – with the only girl I had ever exposed myself to so wholly. _

_As the Strigoi leaned toward me, fangs bared near my neck, my eyes met Roza's fearful ones. I wanted, more than anything, to be able to reach out to her, stroke her soft cheek and tell her everything was going to be okay. But that was a lie. Nothing would be okay now. In that one look, a thousand words were conveyed between us. Love. It was oh so strong, consuming. _I love you, Roza. _I wanted to say the words, but I couldn't. They wouldn't come out. But she knew. I could see it in her bottomless brown eyes. The eyes I loved so much. And I knew in that moment, that Rose loved me more than anything in the world. She was mine and I was hers. _Run, Roza. Run and don't look back. _It was almost a pleading in my mind. _

_And his sharp fangs sunk into my flesh. I gasped in pain, but ever so slowly, that pain turned into one of pure pleasure. _

_Chaos was still raging around us. Through the haze of endorphins, I saw Rose hesitate, wanting to run back to me, but Stan grabbed her by the arm and yelled something to her. _Run, Rose. Do not hesitate.

_Eventually, with one last glance at me tears falling like diamonds down her cheeks, Rose turned and ran, taking my heart with her._ _I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. The blood was slowly being drained from me and everything grew foggy, like I could no longer focus. The endorphins were like nothing I had ever felt before, but eventually I felt myself grow weaker and weaker with every ounce of blood that left my dying body. The Strigoi was going to drain me completely. _

_With one final suck at my neck, I felt the looming darkness close over me, and I felt nothing. _

I woke, gasping for breath. Something warm and wet was trickling down my cheek, and I quickly brushed the tears away. My heart was aching with a pain that was crippling. My breath came in short gasps that were too loud and not filling my lungs with the air they needed.

I sat up and drew my knees up to my chest to rest my head between them, trying to quiet my breathing. I didn't need Rose and Sydney knowing about my moments of weakness. I hadn't felt this much pain in so long. The nightmare had brought back all those memories with Rose and it was like a tidal wave crashing over me. There was something there – a reason behind why it hurt so much to remember those moments spent with Rose – the times filled with sweet kisses and tender touches. It made my heart constrict painfully in my chest.

Ever so slowly, my breathing returned to normal and my heart beat at a regular pace. But it didn't make the aching in my chest dissipate. What was going on with me? Were all these emotions all over my lost life? Because of the life I knew I could no longer have? Confusion swept over me as I contemplated my feelings. Was it possible that something in me was slowly changing? I didn't know. And that just caused further frustration.

I sighed and lay back down, casting my eyes over the clock. It was 7am. I still had hours to sleep as we wouldn't be leaving until lunch time.

I looked to the other bed. Rose was still curled up facing me, her face relaxed and peaceful. There were no horrors intruding on her sleep tonight. Something I was grateful for. I never wanted her to experience the night terrors that I did. I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy. It was just too painful, too real.

I closed my eyes, and instead of concentrating on my own breathing, I took solace in Rose's steady breathing. Once again, the fatigue and the lure of darkness claimed me once again. This time, there were no nightmares - just the blackness of sleep . . .

I awoke a few hours later to bright sunlight filtering in through the window. The alarm clock on the table between the two beds read 10am. Rose and Sydney were still curled up, fast asleep. Both looked peaceful for once. I couldn't bear to wake them up now. Not yet, anyway.

Instead, I slid out of bed and busied myself – as quietly as possible – with getting all out meagre belongings packed away and ready for when the girls' woke up.

"Coffee," I muttered to myself. "I need coffee." In spite of my need for caffeine, there was no way I was going to leave Sydney and Rose undefended while they slept. With the way our luck had gone lately, I wouldn't be ten feet away from the hotel before they were attacked. No, I was not going to leave.

Eventually, the clock struck 11am and the alarm blared, jerking Sydney and Rose from their deep slumber. As per usual, Rose was grouchy and sluggish with the wakeup call. Sydney, who was usually ready for anything groaned and rolled out of bed in an uncharacteristic way.

Assured that they were both awake and getting ready, I left Rose in charge of defence and set off in search of caffeinated drinks and donuts.

As I ventured back to the hotel from the bakery down the street the sign across the road caught my eye. A hardware store. I'd been pondering how best to subdue Sonya when we found her, and now I had an idea. I cut across the street and entered the store.

When I returned with the coffee and donuts, Rose and Sydney were ready and waiting for me. A look of relief washed over Rose's face when she saw me. _She was worried about you, _my subconscious whispered. I repressed the words.

"A chain?" Rose asked taking the box of glazed donuts from my hands.

"For when we find Sonya." I said grimly.

"So," Rose began once we were on the road and heading to Kentucky. "Victor Dashkov might be joining us soon."

Sydney's gasp filled the car and I blinked in surprise at hearing the criminal's name. Why on Earth . . . "Why is Victor Dashkov joining us?" I asked slowly.

"Well, it's kind of a long story," Rose said with an uneasy laugh.

"We have time," Sydney said bleakly.

"Okay, I guess it all started with Robert Doru – Victor's half brother. He's a Spirit user. It was from him that we learnt how to restore a Strigoi. But of course, before that, we had to um, see Victor. And the only way that was going to happen was if he was out of prison," Rose paused for a moment to let her words register with us. Sydney had mentioned on our first night with her that there had been a prison break but I had never really given it much thought. Slowly the pieces began falling into place as she spoke and I almost groaned aloud. Rose had taken the last Dragomir princess to Tarasov prison and broken out the very man who had tortured Lissa. Only Rose-logic would lead her to do something so idiotic.

A few hours later – after I had conveyed to Rose that I was not happy with her over this Dashkov thing – we entered Paris, Kentucky. It was beautiful. Stunning green pastures and turquoise blue lakes and ponds dotted the area. Where in the alley way, I had only been able to identify Rose's hair as being beautiful, here, there was an overwhelming sense of beauty. The sun shone overhead and warmed my skin through the car window. I relished in the warmth. The sun let me know I truly was alive.

Eventually, we spotted Martin Lake. "Stop here, Sydney." I said once we were a little ways away from the only blue house in sight. I didn't want to go too close to Sonya's house for fear that she would hear the car's approach. We needed all the surprise we could get over her.

As we drew closer to the blue house, we could see the hundreds of brilliant flowers in all different shades of bright colours.

"This is her home," Rose said quietly, also studying the array of flowers and pot plants.

Leaving Sydney and Rose where they were, I stepped closer to the front porch, taking in every detail of the entry way. Heavy curtains hung around the windows. I knew those curtains well. They were black-out curtains, designed to keep all light out.

"What are you doing? She might see you," Rose hissed behind me. I drew back and rejoined her and Sydney – who was looking a little pale. I realised just how frightening this must be for her. We were about to put her in front of a murderous Strigoi once again. Would there ever be a time when we weren't throwing Sydney in harm's way? I felt my sympathy for her grow. She was strong for an Alchemist, no doubt, but even she had her limits on how may Strigoi she could face in less than twenty-four hours. Well, I would do anything I could to make sure she was safe – or as safe as anyone could be when face with the evil creatures of the night.

"Those are black-out curtains," I told Rose, who was still eyeing the windows warily. "They aren't letting in any light, so she isn't going to see anything. It also means she likely spends her time on the house's main floor, rather than a basement." That's what I would have done anyway. It was the most logical strategy.

"That's good news for us. The more doors and windows there are, the better off we are." I nodded in approval at her assessment of the situation. It was almost, _almost _like we were back at school and I had given her a situation which she had to figure out how best to deal with.

"I'll scout the other side," I said, heading around the other side of the house. Rose caught my arm and held me back.

"Let me. I'll sense any Strigoi – not that she's going outside, but, well, just in case."

I frowned, hesitating. Obviously, Rose was the logical choice. She would be alerted to any nearing Strigoi before I would, but, I still felt wary about sending her into possible danger. I looked into her eyes and saw a brief flare of irritation. She thought I was hesitating because I worried she couldn't handle herself.

I sighed, relenting. "Okay. Be careful." I said gently, letting her know that I didn't doubt her ability for one second. I had seen her fight and kill Strigoi. Rose was more than capable of defending herself.

Sydney and I waited in silence by the car while Rose took off stealthily around the house. My heart pounded and I knew I wouldn't be at ease until she was safely back by my side.

I let out a breath of relief when I saw Rose jog back around the house and toward us. "A patio door and two windows. All curtained. There's also a wooden desk chair, a shovel, and a wheelbarrow." I felt pride rise in me. She had learnt all this from me – what to look for when you were in danger and only had common objects around. Rose had remembered everything I said. I wanted to reach out and draw her into my arms, feel her warmth and strength. But now was not the time – no, it was never going to happen. Not now. Not ever. Adrian, think of Adrian. He loves her so much. I banished all my rampant thoughts and focussed back on the task we were about to undertake. I couldn't lose my focus now. Not again. The last time I got lost in my thoughts . . . well, things had ended badly. For me.

"Any pitchforks?" I asked, hopefully. A pitchfork would be ideal for destruction.

"Unfortunately, no, but there's a big-ass rock sitting outside the fence. It'd be hard to get into the yard, though. We're better off using it to help us climb over. No gate in the fence. She's made a fortress."

I sighed and gave her a nod to convey that I understood what she meant. Without another word, I retrieved the heavy industrial chain from the back of the car and handed it to Sydney.

"You need to wait here," I told her. I looked to Rose before continuing. "If we're not back in half an hour, go, get out of here. Get in touch with Abe." Rose nodded, standing beside me. "The front door will open when we're ready for you to come in with the chain."

"I can't do that!" Sydney exclaimed. "I can't just leave you guys here."

"Well, let's hope it doesn't come to that," Rose said firmly. "We will be fine. Dimitri here is a badass." Rose joked lightly, trying to lessen the tension. It worked. Sydney agreed to stay put, but she wasn't too pleased about it.

Rose and I hurried to the back of the house. I stood on the rock Rose mentioned earlier and took in the backyard. The layout was exactly how Rose had described it to me.

"Okay," I said just loud enough for Rose to hear me. "Once we're both in, we do not hesitate. Straight for the door. We're going to need to smash it in." Rose nodded, a hard expression on her face. Determination. "Be careful, Rose." I murmured.

Her face softened a little at my words and she repeated my sentiments.

Without further ado, I hoisted her up and over the fence, just as we had in the alley way. We worked quietly and efficiently, and within seconds, we were both springing into action. Just like we had planned, my first weapon of choice was the shovel, which I repeatedly smashed into the glass of Sonya's sliding door. With a final swing of the shovel the glass shattered, creating a hole big enough for us both to slide through, although we both needed to duck.

Immediately, we were met with the red ringed eyes of Sonya Karp. She was waiting for us – unsurprising, with the noise we had made getting through the door – but she was also doing her best to avoid the sunlight that was now spilling in through the glass door. I braced myself for the torturous feelings that spread through me, and was ready for it, able to brush it aside in order to focus now. Every time I came face to face with a Strigoi, I couldn't help but feel the guilt and horror. That had been me not long ago – red eyes, pale skin, twisted features filled with murderous intensions.

Sonya lunged at me. Much like in the alley way, she had taken me for the bigger threat over Rose. Using the shovel I still had clutched in my hands, I fended off her attack, striking out at her shoulder. The shovel wouldn't kill her by any means, but it would irritate her and hopefully distract her enough so we could get her into a vulnerable position. I crouched into a defensive position that I had used my entire life and begun circling, trying to gain the advantage over her inhuman strength and speed. I knew that it wouldn't take much for her to charge at me and kill me in a split second, which meant that we had to act quickly in order to avoid that.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Rose make her move on Sonya who easily deflected the attack with a casual flick of her fingers. Sonya's gaze never wavered from mine, and while I longed to rush to Rose's side to make sure she was okay, I stood my ground, hoping she was fine.

Sonya moved quickly, dropping into her left. Natural instinct made me mirror her movement, continuing to protect myself. But she was just feinting. I didn't have time to correct my mistake before she took advantage of my lapse in judgement and had me pinned against the way in half a second, her cold, dead hand clasped around my throat. I gasped for breath as her immortal strength pushed the air from my lungs. I struggled against her hold, trying to free myself. This would not be like last time. I would never be taken down by a Strigoi again. I _can't _fail Rose. Not again.

In my peripheral vision, I caught a glimpse of Rose lunging at Sonya, her silver stake ready in her hands. The charmed silver made contact with the Strigoi's shoulder. Sonya cried out in pain as the stake drove into her flesh. I knew that feeling, remembered it well. It was like a whit hot iron being shoved into your skin. It was almost unbearable for a moment. But Strigoi, being immortal, healed extremely quickly and I knew we only had seconds to take advantage of it before Sonya would be back at full strength once again. The second was all I needed to wriggle out of Sonya's restraining hands and shove her to the floor. Rose's stake was just beside me and I grabbed it, pushing the tip against the skin at Sonya's throat. She screamed in pain, thrashing against my hold on her. I doubled my strength, holding her down.

"Get Sydney . . ." I panted, still restraining a flailing Sonya. "The chain . . ."

Rose returned after opening the front door and helped me to double my efforts in restraining Sonya. The Strigoi snarled and lashed out again, trying to keep her skin away from the charmed silver of the stake. It felt so wrong to be keeping a Strigoi alive when we had them in such a volatile position, stake ready. If she continued to present more of a danger to us, I wouldn't hesitate to shove the stake through her heart and just end this now. There would be other ways of tracking down the kid with the Dragomir blood.

Rose, sensing my wariness muttered close to my ear; "We need her . . . remember we need her." I just nodded. Of course I knew she was right. We _did _need her. Sonya was the only one we knew who had the information we needed. But still . . . it went against everything I had ever been taught. Strigoi were to be killed as soon as you had the chance, not kept around to be played with.

Sydney hurried through the door then, chain in hand. She had a look of utter determination plastered across her face and I knew it was taking every ounce of mental strength and will that she had to come in here.

"The recliner," I uttered to Rose, gesturing toward the chair in the corner of the room. Rose merely nodded.

I wrapped my arms around Sonya's upper body while Rose grabbed her lower half and we shoved the Strigoi into the chair, still trying to avoid being kicked, bitten or punched. I kept my stake poised at her neck, ready to finish her off if it came to that, while Rose secured the chain around Sonya's body.

Rose met my eyes when we were sure we had Sonya firmly bound. Sure, she could break out of it, but it would be painful with my stake pressed against her skin. Sonya knew as well as I did that I could easily shove the stake through her heart. Rose looked weary and I was sure I looked just as tired. But the day had only just begun and I steeled myself for the interrogation that was about to take place.

"Time for questioning," Rose muttered.

**Remember the equation; the more reviews I get the faster I will update. **

**I hope to have a new chapter by Sunday 9****th**** September. This is my goal, but as i'm sure most of you know, real life does unfortunately get in the way sometimes. But I will spend as much time as possible with Dimitri and his thoughts and bring you a new chapter as soon as possible!**

**Leave me some love in the form of a review ! I read them all and appreciate every single one of them. Let's try to get to the 100 review mark!**

**Oh and by the way, are you liking Dimitri's nightmares and flashbacks? I always wondered what he did as a strigoi and how he felt. Just as a little incentive, there may be evil strigoi Dimitri memories to come in the next couple of chapters !**

**~Bronte. xox**


	11. Chapter 11

My apologies for the lateness of the update. I had trouble with my laptop and lost everything from my hard drive – meaning I had to re-write the whole of chapter 11 again. Suffice to say, I now make a habit of backing up every important document on my laptop. Hopefully we can avoid this happening again.

Thank you for the reviews, as well. With chapter 10 brought the 100th review, however I would love to see some more love from the readers! The story has also had over 1000 views! Thanks a million, guys!

Enjoy !

* * *

><p>Chapter 11 – INERROGATIONS.<p>

"Do you know of another Dragomir"? I snarled at Sonya. Although I wanted nothing more than to get this all over and done with as quickly as possible, it was more than likely that we would be here for a while. Getting a I to talk – even under extreme sufferance and torture – was not going to be a simple or efficient task. I knew this from experience.

Instead of answering, Sonya thrashed around against her binding restraints and I feared for a moment that she would break free. I shoved the silver stake against her throat harder than before, drawing a small bead of blood. She snarled in pain and bit out a curse word.

"Are you related to a child born to Eric Dragomir? It would have been about fifteen years ago." Rose asked. Once again, all we got was a garbled string of intense profanities and more struggles against the chains that were tightly wrapped around her body. Damn it. We were never going to get anything from her. Sonya had worked out pretty quickly that we weren't going to kill her because we needed the information too badly. She also knew exactly who we were talking about. A flash of recognition had shown in her red ringed eyes upon first hearing Eric Dragomir's name. Yes, she definitely knew exactly who we were talking about, and I would bet my best collection of western novels that she was not going to give up the information.

"You need me. You won't kill me," she spat at me.

"Try me," I growled. "One miss-step and you're gone. You know it. Do. Not. Tempt. Me."

"This isn't going to get us anywhere," Rose sighed, running a hand through her long hair in a show of frustration. "We've been at this for over an hour and she hasn't even opened her mouth except to swear at us. This isn't working, damn it!"

"Rose, calm down. We'll give it a rest for now." The irony of the situation didn't escape my notice. Just twenty-four hours ago, Rose had been getting _me_ to calm down and relax after I had practically bludgeoned Donovan to death. But now, I was keeping myself in check, afraid of my emotions getting the better of me and causing me to lash out violently again. I couldn't allow that again. Last time I had felt so out of control, blinded by rage and seeking vengeance for everything that had happened, everything I had lost.

I slumped back against the wall, my stake still pressed against Sonya's skin. If she made to move forward, the stake would only dig into her flesh harder. Rose shifted back as well, and I caught a glimpse of red on her forehead.

"What happened to your head, Rose?" I asked worriedly. I hadn't noticed it before, but it must have happened when Sonya had deflected Rose's attack, throwing her back. I cursed myself silently for not paying closer attention to Rose. We had to keep an eye on each other, always have one another's backs if we were going to get through all this turmoil alive and well. Rose swayed a little and I felt even worse. She might have a concussion and I hadn't even noticed. _Concussions can kill. _I scolded myself.

I glanced to Sydney. "Go lay her down and clean it up. Don't let her sleep until we can figure out if it's a concussion," I rattled off, assured that Sydney's first aid abilities would keep Rose healthy.

"No, I can't," Rose shot back. "I can't leave you alone with her . . ."

I shook my head, motioning to Sydney to take Rose away. "I'm fine. Rest up so you can help me later. You're no good to me if you're just going to fall over." As I spoke, Rose swayed on her feet when Sydney grabbed her arm. She steadied herself and allowed Sydney to lead her out of the room.

"Are you going to talk?" I asked Sonya quietly. No answer. Not that I had really expected anything new. Sonya and I sat in silence for a few moments and it gave me time to think, allow my mind to wander.

"You know," I began. "I used to be a Strigoi. Just like you. I killed mindlessly and mercilessly, sometimes just for the fun of it. That evil ruins your life. It took away everything I valued and treasured most in my life. It took away my ability to love, and with it, the love of my life." I didn't know what forced me to talk to Sonya like that, and it startled me. It startled her too, to say the least.

"I don't get to go back!" Sonya snapped, her red eyes wide with fury. "You're lying. Once you're awakened, there is no going back to how you were. And why would you want to? This life, it's amazing, exquisite even. You can see everything, hear everything and the strength! I don't even remember what it was like to be a weak Moroi. That's no life I wish to go back to." She said scornfully.

It was the most she had spoken the entire time we had been here. I shuddered at her words, recalling how I had felt exactly the same way. When Rose found me, I had emphasised to her that I loved how I was and, with that, I had encouraged her to join me in the immortal world. But, what Sonya said made sense, really. Although as a Dhampir I already had heightened senses, they were nothing compared to what I had. As a Strigoi, all that had been exemplified ten-fold. She was right. It had been exquisite – but it was unnatural. No one should be able to see every little detail in something, or hear every whisper within a ten mile radius. A Strigoi's sense of smell was incredible. You could smell every inch of your pray, not just the blood, either, but their fear and even sometimes, their arousal when they were drunk and begging to be touched. Was it something I would miss? Possibly. Now, everything was rather dull compared to a Dhampir's senses, but it made me feel normal, human, even.

"You have no idea what it's like to have been where you are and then come back," I murmured. _Why am I talking to her so casually? _It wasn't right. Her very presence in the room made me squirm with discomfort and my skin practically crawled with disgust. Everything about her was unnatural. It shouldn't be allowed. No one should be like that.

Rose had told me a little of Sonya's past as a Spirit user and how it had slowly driven her to insanity, and, in turn, the allure of immortality and a clear mind drew her into becoming a Strigoi by choice. But I also knew that she had been a good person. She had encouraged Rose to flee St Vladimir's with Lissa and protect her at all costs. A little unorthodox yes, but her heart had been in the right place. Sonya would never get the chance I had to come back to my previous life. There were no spirit users around this time to save the day. She would be stuck with this life . . . that is, until it came time for us to kill her and free her soul once and for all. It was the best thing we could offer in return – the freeing of her soul – for her help with finding the lost Dragomir. That's assuming she talked, of course.

Sydney ventured out of Sonya's bedroom then, her face worried. "Rose is with Lissa," she said, pointing to her head for emphasis. "Is that okay? It's not sleeping, right?"

"She's fine. It isn't sleeping. She just sort of, _goes _into her head. Her thoughts sort of mould with Lissa's, but Lissa can't feel it. She has no idea that Rose is there." I told her.

"Still no luck?" Sydney asked, gesturing to Sonya who was eying the Alchemist sceptically. Sydney shied away from the murderous glare.

"No, unfortunately not." I sighed.

"What is the Alchemist girl doing here? She has no business here. None of you do!" Sonya spat, writhing against her restraints once again.

I leapt up, shoving my stake hard against her throat. She cried out in pain. The silver was alive with magic – magic that no Strigoi could touch without being subjected to incredible pain and torture.

"Do _not _speak unless you are spoken to, or are going to offer up the information about Eric Dragomir willingly. We know that you have what we need." It was a dangerous thing to do. Threatening a Strigoi could end you. While the industrial strength chain was strong, it was no match for Sonya's inhuman Strigoi strength. All she would have to do is user her full power and the chain would snap. Only my stake against her throat was stopping her from thrusting herself forward.

"That just means you won't kill me. Only I have the information. No one else can give it to you."

"Like I said, don't test me. I will end you right here without breaking a sweat. You _should _be killed right now." I sneered in disgust.

The only thing that stopped Sonya's next string of replies was a knock on the front door. I froze and Sydney stared wide-eyed.

"Sydney," I said quietly. "Go wait out the back in the sunlight and don't come back in until I come for you, okay?"

She nodded, her breathing quickening.

"It's okay," I said gently as she went outside. "I'm just going to see who it is." I rose to my feet and yanked on the chain, ensuring that it was tight enough around her that she wouldn't break free quickly. All I needed was a few seconds to get rid of whoever was at the door and resume my post beside the Strigoi.

Another, more persistent knock on the door made me hurry. I slowed my heart rate with a deep breath. It wouldn't do to be afraid. Wary? Yes, definitely, but not afraid.

I opened the door and was confronted with a sight almost as disgusting as Strigoi. The Dashkov brothers stood before me.

Victor flashed his sparkling white fangs, smiling at me merrily, as if he were reuniting with a long lost friend.

"Dimitri," he greeted me with the same sick, twisted smile. "It has been a very long time. You're looking well." To those who didn't know him any better, one might think Victor was simply being polite. I knew better, though. It was no secret that he despised me. I _had _ruined his great plans to use Lissa as his personal nurse.

And, without waiting for a reply from me, he and his brother stepped in over the threshold, effectively moving me out of their way. Of course, I could have stopped them with force, but, to be quite frank, I was intrigued as to what Victor had to say on the matter. It was possible he had information given how close he had been with the Dragomir family, Eric in particular.

"Please, do come in." I remarked snidely, allowing them to pass.

Ignoring the brothers for a moment, I quickly strode back to where Sonya was – thankfully – still restrained. I tugged on her chains once more, tightening them further. I glanced outside. Sydney was standing in the sunlight, worry creasing her face. Her golden lily tattoo was more prominent in the sunlight.

When she saw me, I motioned for her to come back inside. As she stepped inside the sliding door, a gasp slipped through her lips.

I resumed my spot next to Sonya, repositioning my stake at her throat once more. I was on hyper-alert. Strigoi on one side, two twisted brothers on the other. An Alchemist and Rose to protect if need be. I needed backup. Pronto.

"The Dashkovs," I said by way of introduction for Sydney, although she knew exactly who they were. Victor was very high up on Alchemists' most wanted list, below Rose, of course.

"Sydney, go get Rose up. I need her now." My eyes never wavered from Victor's as I spoke to the Alchemist. Despite looking quite unwell, I knew he was capable of fighting if he was given the slightest chance. There was no way I could allow him to take advantage of the situation.

Victor and Robert stood in silence, taking in their new surroundings. I held my position beside Sonya, who had gone rigid with the new arrivals. She regarded them with such scrutiny. '

A moment passed and Sydney returned to the living room, Rose in tow. A breath escaped my lips. I hadn't even realised that I hadn't been breathing. I felt much calmer now with Rose present. She was my rock through all these troubled times.

"You managed to find us."Rose remarked.

"There's one lake in this town. One blue house. Maybe you had trouble with those directions, but for the rest of us, it wasn't that difficult." Victor replied with a sneer.

The very sight of the man sickened me. He had threatened countless times – both verbally and more subtly – to out the relationship between Rose and myself back at 's. Victor had physically and mentally abused Vasilisa when he was seriously ill. I did not hold one single ounce of respect for the more volatile Dashkov brother.

"I assumed you would have already obtained the needed information." Victor spat in disgust. It was like he thought we were incompetent.

"She's not exactly forthcoming."

"I'm going to kill you all!" Sonya suddenly lashed against her restraints. I hurried to reaffirm my strength and forced the stake harder into her white, chalky throat. She snarled in fury and pain as the charmed silver bit into her flesh. "I am going to consume you all one by one. Normally, I'd start with the human and work my way up to the Moroi, but, this time, I think I'll save you two for last and drag out your suffering. You annoyed me the most." Sonya's last words were directed toward Rose and myself. Her fury wasn't scary, but her words of killing sparked memories I had worked so, so hard lately to squash – to rid myself of. Every time I thought I was finally making minimal progress, it was all undone in a heartbeat with just a few words from a meaningless Strigoi.

While I was once again, tormented, Rose became flippant. "Do all Strigoi go through some boot camp and learn all the same threats? It's a wonder you don't cackle too." Normally, under much more normal circumstances, I would have given a smile or even a small laugh at her joke. But not today. There were no jokes today. Not with a rampant Strigoi and the two Dashkov brothers as threats. I sighed. It made me nostalgic for the past.

Victor finally turned to Sydney, his green eyes boring into the Alchemist's. "So, your pet Alchemist."

His words sparked a trickle of anger in me. Sydney was being helpful, putting her career and _life _on the line to help the people she was biologically made to despise. She didn't deserve to be disrespected. Especially not from a sadistic criminal and lunatic like Victor Dashkov.

Despite Victor's murderous glare, Sydney didn't flinch as she met his gaze with equal fierceness. For someone who would undoubtedly be terrified on the inside, she was doing a remarkable job at keeping her composure through everything.

"Young. But of course she would be. I imagine it's the only way you could manipulate her into this little escapade."

He had hit the nail on the head. Or so to speak. Sydney wasn't here by choice. She had been manipulated into coming with us. By Abe.

Sydney calmly disputed his claims that she was here by force – claims Victor promptly ignored.

"Look," Rose snapped. "If you don't have anything useful to offer, then get out of here and let us wait until hunger weakens Sonya."

"We can help," Victor replied simply. He was about to continue, but was cut off my Sonya who suddenly decided she had had enough idle chit-chat for now. I hadn't been ready for the quick onslaught of supernatural strength and Rose had also been keeping a close eye on the Dashkov brothers.

With her inhuman strength, Sonya finally broke the chains that were binding her to the recliner. They didn't completely fall from her body, but they were snapped and it would not take long for her to break free from them completely and attack. It was the best opening she had, and she was going to take advantage of it. Fortunately, I was fast, too. Although I had been distracted mere moments ago, I was on Sonya in a flash, moving as fast as my body could. It didn't take half a second before Rose was beside me. My mind was racing with the possibilities of restraining Sonya once more. The chains were practically useless to us now. There was no way we were going to get the chance to unravel them and rebind Sonya. She had an advantage over us now. A brief meeting of our eyes told me Rose was thinking over the dilemma in the same way I was – weighing up numerous ideas and their possible outcome.

Both Rose and I were using every single ounce of physical strength we could muster in our attempts to subdue Sonya. I lashed out with my silver stake, eliciting a cry of pain and rage from Sonya as the silver once again made contact with her flesh.

I didn't notice what was going on beside me, having focused all my attention onto Sonya. Rose, however, did see and it was her shout that made me turn to face the brothers.

In the way that Rose and I were holding Sonya down, we had inadvertently exposed her chest – her heart – to a stake-wielding Robert Doru. It was too late to do anything. Robert had the perfect opportunity to run the stake through her heart – that is, if he had the strength to break through the sternum at all the muscle and sinew protecting the heart.

With astounding force, Robert plunged the stake through the Strigoi's heart. The strength he managed to muster for a man of his age and mental state was shocking, to say the least. I felt the brunt of it as I was still clutching Sonya tightly.

But it wasn't the force with which Robert had staked Sonya that shocked me to my core. It was the blindingly brilliant white light that emanated from where the stake made contact with Sonya's flesh. I was thrown back with an unyielding force, the light still shining ever so brightly.

And then, not a moment later, it was gone. The room was thrown into shadowy light once more, everything and everyone was deadly silent. I blinked a few times to regain my senses and then stumbled to my feet, eyes wide. Robert was on the ground – passed out, perhaps.

Sonya was what startled me most. Her eyes opened wide revealing brilliant azure blue irises.

* * *

><p>For all the twi-hards out there, my charming little Twilight drabble series is up. Two chapters so far. Be warned, it's lusty and lemony ! Check it out and leave me some feedback!<p> 


	12. Chapter 12

My dearest readers! I am finally about to take this story of its hiatus! Life has been hectic for a while now, some good things some bad. I just haven't found the time to be able to do the thing I love most – writing!

This chapter is very much overdue, however it isn't overly long. HOWEVER, the next chapter is already written, but I want to see how many REVIEWS I can get in the next 24 hours (9:30am AEDT 18/01)! It would mean a lot to me if you guys reviewed this chapter. There's a whole lot of Dimitri in it LET'S GO FOR AT LEAST 10!

Enjoy!

Chapter 12.

"Unbelievable," Rose murmured. Now that was an understatement.

Not sixty second ago, Sonya had been writhing against her restrainers, snarling death threats and snapping her deadly fangs in my direction. Now? Her skin, although still pale – as Moroi always were – lacked the chalky, gauntness, and glowed with human warmth, her eyes glowed a magnificent, brilliant azure blue.

As I registered the changes to her in my mind, I began to feel a sense of shock and wonder. It dawned on me that this wasn't the first time this transformation had happened. Rose had even seen it happen. To me. Was that what it looked like? Experiencing the transformation first hand had felt strange, disorientating. It felt like I was falling, weightless and powerless. The feeling of vulnerability after possessing so much power and strength was foreign. Strigoi did not feel vulnerable or weak. It made the experience unnatural.

However, watching it from an outsider's point of view was another thing all together. The light was blinding but beautiful. The golden light was pure and innocent, restoring the Strigoi's lost and wondering soul. It was amazing, incredible and completely unbelievable. Almost like a dream. Except, it had happened. Right before my own eyes.

Robert had restored Sonya's soul, her humanity and her life.

I stared at Sonya in utter amazement and wonder. Behind me, I was aware of Victor bent over his brother who was curled up exhausted on the floor. I didn't have it in me to stand guard over them. I was too preoccupied with the scene unfurling before me. The two brothers were no threat to us at the moment, anyway. Robert was much too fragile.

Sonya was still in her chair, frozen in fear and shock. Her eyes were wide with bewilderment as they darted from face to face, taking in her onlookers.

Suddenly, the silence in the room was shattered by an ear splitting scream. It startled me out of my state of shock and wonder. In a flash I was beside Sonya, ripping the chains from her body. She shook and lashed out against my touch on her skin, but she no longer had the power of an immortal being. I was stronger now. Stronger, yes, but I did not want to use my full strength against her. She was frightened, and in shock. I didn't need to make that worse for her. She had to know that we meant her no harm.

Once freed from her bindings, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into the chair with me. Her screaming stopped, to be replaced by heart wrenching sobs. Sonya buried her head against my chest and wept. I could recall my own sobbing. Lissa had held me then, and I knew that it helped to have someone comfort you. Like a newborn child needing it's mothers' hold to take away the tears.

I ran my hand along her arm, whispering soothing words to her in Russian. I didn't know if she could understand the words in the foreign language, but I hoped my tone calmed her. And it did. Within seconds, I felt her muscles slacken as she relaxed a little, although she was still very much stressed out.

I was only vaguely aware of the rest of our odd group arguing quietly. My mind was preoccupied with the shaking Moroi in my arms. Her sobs had finally ceased and she now had her arms wrapped tightly around my torso, her head buried in my chest.

"You need answers from Sonya Karp?" Victor Dashkov's voice brought me to attention. "Go get them. They've certainly come at a high price."

A flash of anger pulsed through me at his brazen words, his disregard for how Sonya would be feeling right now.

"No!" I snapped angrily. Sonya jumped slightly at my harsh tone. I rubbed her back soothingly, holding her gently. "Are you crazy?" I asked rhetorically. Of course, I already knew the man was criminally insane. He forced his own daughter to turn Strigoi and had barely battered an eye when I had shoved my stake through her heart. No rational or sane person would _ever _do that to any child, let alone their own.

"Didn't you see what just happened?" I demanded, attempting to keep my voice even for fear of shocking Sonya again.

"Yes, I noticed," Victor spat bitterly, his green eyes flashing with fury.

"She's in no condition to answer anything! She's in shock. Leave her alone." I forcefully pushed back my growing irritation. I couldn't get angry now. I felt weary at my constant mood changes. I could never seem to get a handle on how I should feel in a certain situation. I had spent my entire life being so self assured, but now I could never be sure how I was going to respond to something. Moments of irritation turned into flashes of rage and instances of sadness brought about a crippling sorrow.

"Don't act like _she's _the one who's suffering here," snapped Victor.

Rather than responding, I turned my attention back to Sonya, focussing on my own breathing. Taking a few deep breaths, I felt the anger dissipate from my exhausted body. I really had to get control of my emotions.

Sonya's own breathing evened out and I recalled how weary I had felt after the transformation. I sighed and stood, lifting Sonya's small body into my arms bridal style.

Everyone glanced my way, but it was Rose's brown eyes I sought out. The compassion in her expression brought me comfort. I gave her a small smile, which she returned.

"She needs to sleep," I muttered. "Believe me, you have no idea what's going on inside her right now." My words were directed to Rose.

"Oh, I believe you," Rose said quietly, giving me a gentle look. Of course she knew. Rose spent a long time watching me in my recovery and had even witnessed the changing. She knew exactly how I had felt and now knew what Sonya was experiencing. Although Rose had never undergone the transformation herself, we had always been so in tune with each other, she just _knew. _She always did.

"Youʹre idiots," snapped Victor. "Both of you."

My gaze found the frail man, and I felt all my loathing for him bubble to the surface. After everything he had done, he still had the nerve to call us idiots. "There will be _no _interrogation yet. Understood?"

Without another word, I left the room, holding Sonya protectively to my chest.

Entering Sonya's darkened bedroom, I shifted her weight in order to pull back the covers of her bed. I gently laid her form on the mattress and covered her with the blanket. I remembered the cold feeling only too well.

"You're Dimitri Belikov?" Sonya whispered in a raspy voice.

I sat on the seat beside her bed. "Yes, I am."

"I heard about you. You were Strigoi . . ." her azure blue eyes appraised me, her gaze coming to meet mine. "You're a dhampir again?"

"The same thing that happened to you also happened to me a short time ago," I told her quietly. "Vasilisa Dragomir changed me. As it turns out, Spirit users are very useful." I laughed gently. Until recently, everyone had assumed that Spirit didn't even exist anymore and now all these new uses for it were suddenly surfacing as more Spirit users were discovered.

"Ah, Vasilisa," Sonya murmured. "She's okay? There are many Strigoi out there who want her."

"She's completely fine. Her issues with Spirit are under control with medication. We can do the same for you," I told her softly, hoping to instil some positive energy into the woman. I remembered the hopeless feelings and how they could cripple you. I didn't want that to happen to Sonya.

"Dimitri?" Sonya spoke.

"Yes?"

"I did some . . . _horrible_ things to so many people. I took lives! Those people were someone's mother father, son, daughter. . . I caused so much harm and pain in this world." Sonya sobbed.

I shifted closer to her, taking her hand in my own. "I know," I murmured. "I did, too." A million images flooded my head, images I had fought so hard to repress, all tumbling back in one big gush. The memories were so vivid, so horrific. I swallowed hard, fighting off the feelings of guilt and depression. I couldn't help Sonya recover if I couldn't recover from this myself. That would make me a hypocrite.

"Is there redemption?" Sonya asked warily.

"I believe so. Every day, I find it gets a little better. A little easier to come to terms with what I did, mourn it and look to the future." To my surprise, I found that saying the words aloud, made them startlingly true. I _was _recovering more ever day. Things were getting easier. Of course, I had moments, like this, when I would remember everything I had done, all the lives I had brazenly whisked away and find I was thinking negatively about myself. But, then I would realize that by just being able to feel the remorse, proved that I had some good in me. And that was what made life a little easier. _And Rose. Always Rose, _my subconscious whispered.

Sonya's response was barely audible, her eyes slipping closed as she was pulled into unconsciousness.

Standing, I moved to the door, leaving it ajar as I left.

As I trudged back to the living room, I could still see the haunting memories, causing my chest to feel constricted.

Entering the living room, I found Robert asleep. I looked to the sleeping man, driven to the edge of insanity because of his gift. I felt a small amount of gratitude for him. It wasn't his fault he had a conniving criminal for a brother.

"She's sleeping too," I murmured to Rose who was slumped against the wall next to Sydney.  
>"The transformation . . . it's difficult." I said, recalling my own experience with it. I shuddered.<p>

"I don't think we should leave Sonya alone," Rose told me. "Someone should stay with her in case she wakes up. She won't know what's going on."

An odd expression crossed Rose's face, but before I could recognise the look, it was gone, her face becoming passive. I looked at her closely, scrutinising her. I knew Rose better than anyone and could tell with one look that there was something amiss. But I also knew her well enough to know that if there were something serious wrong, she wouldn't hesitate to tell me. Besides, her logic could not be faulted. Sonya should indeed have someone sit with her while she slept.

"Youʹre right. Do you mind sitting with her?" I queried Sydney, who looked up sharply, her brown eyes wide.

"She doesn't know me," Sydney said quickly, her voice sounding strained at the thought of spending time with Sonya. "It might make things worse when she wakes up. Besides . . ." Sydney put on that disgusted expression that Alchemists excelled at. "I don't really feel that comfortable with someone who was a monster five minutes ago." Ah, of course, natural Alchemist aversion to all things supernatural. It was easy to forget her position as an Alchemist when she appeared relatively at ease around Rose and myself.

"She's not Strigoi!" I snapped, feeling, once again, that sudden rush of anger. "She is absolutely, completely Moroi again!" At Sydney's wide-eyed, frightened expression at my outburst, I reigned it in, feeling terrible that I had snapped at her.

"I know it's hard to believe, but she really has changed.ʺ I said a little more calmly, hoping her fear would dissipate. It did. Sydney's eyes softened and her shoulders relaxed immediately.

"I'll stay with her then," Rose said brightly, masking the tension that had suddenly appeared in the room.

ʺNo, no.ʺ I shook my head. "Sydney's right about one thing: Sonya might be confused. It's better if someone's there who understands what's happened." I was the only one here who knew _precisely _what the frail Moroi woman was enduring right now.

I looked to the sleeping form of Robert and then to Victor who gave me a wicked smile, his eyes narrowed. I didn't trust him at all. Although for now, I was confident that both he and his brother were very much out of commission for the time being. Robert wouldn't be waking any time soon.

Before exiting the room once more, I paused beside Rose, leaning in so my lips almost brushed her ear lobe. I ignored the fire our proximity ignited within me, focussing on what I wanted to say.

"Keep an eye on them," I whispered, barely audible. Only Rose would be able to hear. "Robert's down right now but he might recover sooner than we think."

"I know."

I turned to leave, but paused once more, turning back to the goddess before me. I couldn't help but wonder . . . "Rose?"

"Yeah?" Her liquid chocolate eyes bore into mine, reigniting that fire.

"That . . . was that what it was like when Lissa changed me?"

"More or less."

"I didn't realize . . . it was . . ." I found myself almost at a loss for words struggled for words. "The way that light filled the room, the way she changed. Seeing that life emerge from death . . . it was . . ."

Rose smiled slightly, her eyes softening even more. "Beautiful?" she supplied, putting my incoherent thoughts into one perfect word.

"Life like that . . . you don't—no, you _can't _waste it." I said heatedly, feeling a rush of determination to not let my life whittle away while I did nothing about it when I could have. I was given a second chance. Not many people ever got that opportunity and there was no way I was going to waste it. With my new resolve firmly in place, I felt a little more of my guilt and depression seep away.

"No, you can't," Rose agreed, her warm smile making me smile in return. After everything we had been through, it still threw me off guard how well we knew each other. _This _was true friendship . . . but maybe I wanted _more _than just friendship with Rose. It was slowly dawning on me that there truly was no one else in this world who knew me like Roza did. She knew every side of me, the good and bad, she had seen me at my best and at my absolute worst and still, she never displayed any signs that she resented me for any of the terrible things I had done to her.

REVIEW my loves! Remember! 24 hours and the next chapter goes up, but I want at least 10 reviews!

My younger cousin has also recently joined Fanfiction! She, like me, is completely into Pretty Little Liars, and her first shot at a fanfiction is a PLL one! It's an Ezria one-shot, sweet, smutty and completely romantic! If you're a PLL/Ezria fan, check out and review _A Love Worth Waiting For – _pretty. little. liar. ezria - Make sure to get rid of the spaces between the dot and the next word in her user (FF don't let you have the exact username typed in!) Give Ella a warm welcome to the world of fanfiction!

xx


	13. Chapter 13

Apologies that this wasn't up earlier like I promised it would be! This morning I was rudely awakened at 8:30am and out of the house by 9am to go shopping.  
>But here is chapter 13! Keep the REVIEWS coming. Really, it's like getting paid for a job. You don't work for free, do you? This is like paying me ;) Let's go for another 10 for this long chapter! 13 pages on word :D<p>

xx

Chapter 13.

I resumed my spot beside Sonya's bed, careful not to wake her. I lost myself in my thoughts once more. Thoughts of Rose . . . myself. Did I deserve someone like Rose after _everything_ I had put her through? I felt as though a part of me deserved her while the other, still healing part, would never be worthy of anyone, especially not someone as special and incredible as Roza.

Forgiveness. That is what it would all come back to. I had to forgive myself wholly and completely before I could have any hopes of moving forward with my life. I already knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt that Rose had forgiven me – no, she claimed there was never anything to forgive – but I knew better. Accepting her forgiveness was the next step. I was slowly coming to terms with it, realizing that our bond rendered a lot of the bad moot. And for that, I was truly thankful. Thankful I had someone as strong and passionate as Rose in my life right now. She was my rock. Rose was always there when I needed someone – even when I didn't think I needed support. She just knew what I wanted and needed. But would there ever come a time in the future when I would be healed enough on the inside to be able to love someone unconditionally? I couldn't hate myself and love someone the way they deserved to be loved. It would just never work. I would always been involved in a raging war within me, never fully content or satisfied with my life. And, what a waste. Second chances were scarce in life, and for me to just throw it away without a second thought would be idiotic.

I pulled myself from my thoughts and stood up, stretching my back out. I was definitely in need of some sleep. My mind and body were starting to show signs of fatigue. Glancing at Sonya to ensure she was still in a slumber, I wondered out of the bedroom to check on Rose. Entering the living room, I found Robert still asleep with Victor hovering over him protectively, Sydney folded up on the couch, awake and Rose curled up in a makeshift bed on the floor, sleeping peacefully.

"Everything okay?" Sydney asked, looking up at me.

"Yep. Sonya is still asleep. I just wanted to check to make sure you are all okay out here."

"Well, there haven't been any Strigoi trying to beat down the door, so I think we're doing alright," Sydney joked lightly. I gave her a small smile.

"How long has Rose been asleep for?" I asked, my eyes wondering to Rose. Her deep mahogany hair was splayed out around her tanned face, her featured relaxed for the first time in a while. She truly was beautiful.

"Not long. She fell asleep pretty quickly, though, so she's obviously exhausted," Sydney looked back to me, appraising me. "You look pretty beat yourself," she commented dryly.

"I'm alright for a while longer. Being a guardian your whole life teaches you a few things, one of them being able to push yourself to stay awake and alert."

"You go back to Sonya. I've got an eye on everything out here," Sydney told me.

I nodded, turning to head back to Sonya's bedroom.

When I returned, I found Sonya waking from her sleep. I hurried to the seat beside her bed, wanting to make sure she didn't startle herself. "Sonya? Are you okay?" Sonya pushed herself up from the pillows, blinking blearily at me. She rubbed her fists in her eyes in a very child-like manner before focussing her gaze on me.

"I feel much better, thank you. Sleeping felt strange, though," she gave me a rueful smile, and I was surprised at jus how beautiful the Moroi woman was. Before I hadn't noticed, too concerned with ensuring that she was of no danger to herself nor anyone else. But now I realized just how blue her eyes were, her auburn hair, although messy, shone in the ray of light pouring through the bedroom door. Just as I noticed these things, I realized that I was once again seeing beauty. After being Strigoi, I couldn't find beauty in anything and I had always assumed that was because I had lost my soul, now however, I was sure it was because I wasn't _allowing _myself to see just how beautiful the world truly was. At my epiphany, I felt one more small piece of my self-loathing chip away.

Sonya pulled her body into a sitting position on the bed, folding her legs up in a cross. She leaned back against the soft pillows, sighing contentedly. She appeared very peaceful, which was something I didn't feel for a long time after being Strigoi.

"The guilt . . . does it go away?" Sonya asked quietly.

I thought over her question for a moment, considering all the feelings I had had in the past few hours specifically. "Slowly," I told her honestly. "For me, it has taken a long time to get to the point where I am starting to forgive myself. I've had people tell me that they forgive me or that there was never anything to forgive, but there is. I did terrible things and in order to move on, I have to accept that I can't change the past, I can't go back and make events happen differently. I really only just came to terms with this, but I've realized that going through the rest of my second chance at life being weighed down by a crushing guilt is just a complete waste and would mean that I didn't deserve this second shot. It is certainly not going to happen overnight, but I believe it _will _happen one day." I gave her a small smile as she pondered over my words.

"How long has it been since your – you know, transformation?"

"A few months now," I told her.

"You seem very collected . . ." Sonya trailed off, staring into my eyes. "But, you're not really, are you? You still struggle every day with this weight." Her words were spoken very matter-of-factly. I gave her a puzzled look. "Your aura," She said with a smile. "I can see the darkness around you, but there is light, blues and yellows – which is a good thing. I think you'll be just fine, Dimitri." She told me, patting my hand.

I was about to speak when her eyes cast to the doorway. "Rose?" She spoke the name as a question, as if she weren't positive it was Rose. I turned my body, finding Rose standing against the doorframe, a small smile playing around her lips.

"It's good to see you again," Rose said brightly, greeting her former teacher. "Sydney went for groceries," this was directed at me. "She also stayed up so I could sleep last night."

I smiled at her. "I know. I got up once to check on you," I could see a light blush spread across her cheeks at my words as though I had embarrassed her.

"You can rest, too," Rose said quickly. "Get some breakfast, and then I'll keep an eye on everything. I have it on good authority that Victor's going to have car trouble. Also that Robert really likes Cheerios, so if you want some, you're out of luck. He doesn't seem like the sharing type.ʺ

My smile grew – a true, real smile. It felt good to really smile. I didn't do it often enough.

Sonya's sharp voice made me jump a little. "There's another Spirit user here." Her voice was fearful, frantic. "I can feel it. I remember him." She looked between Dimitri and me. "It's not safe. We're not safe. You shouldn't have us around.ʺ

"Everything is fine," I said gently, calmly. "Don't worry,"

Sonya cut me off, shaking her head. "You don't understand. We . . . we're capable of terrible things. To ourselves, to others. It's why I changed, to stop the madness. And it did, except . . . it was worse. In its way. The things I did . . ."

Her voice was bordering on hysterical as the words tumbled, unchecked from her mouth.

"It wasn't you! You were controlled by something else," Rose interjected quickly.

"But I chose it," Sonya moaned into her balled up hands. "_Me_. I made it happen."

I felt sorrow well within me. Poor Sonya had no control over the impending depression as a Spirit user. Unlike Lissa, there had never been anyone around who knew what Sonya was and therefore, no help could have been provided for her. I resolved to change that for her. I would make sure she never suffered because of the side effects of Spirit again. As soon as we got the information we needed, found the illegitimate Dragomir child, took him or her back to Court, cleared Rose's name . . . I almost felt exhausted thinking about how many things were resting on us right now. It was almost too much pressure, but determination from each one of us would go a long way to making this whole messed up process go a whole lot quicker.

"You weren't thinking clearly. Lissa battles with the same thing all the time." Rose said, desperately trying to calm Sonya down once more.

"Vasilisa? Yes, of course. Vasilisa has it too . . ." her voice trailed off, her expression becoming thoughtful for a moment and then breaking into a panic again. "Did you help her? Did you get her out of there?" Of course. Sonya had been the one to tell Rose to get Lissa away from the dangers around St. Vladimir's.

"I did," Rose said, assurance and gentleness evident in her voice. "We left and the came back and, uh, we were able to stop what was hurting her." Sonya didn't seem to notice the stutter in Rose's explanation. I, however did. She edited out the part about Victor Dashkov being the threat Sonya had warned them against. And the fact that he was now happily relaxing in her living room with his Spirit using brother.

"And you can help Lissa, too," Rose began persuading, a pleading look crossing her face. I knew that look. She had used it on me a number of times to get her own way – and it had never failed.

"No," I cut across her sharply, perhaps a little more sharply than I intended with Rose. "Not yet." I said a more gently, but still retaining authority in my voice. Sonya was in no way ready to be faced with difficult questions that might upset her. I had been forced into an interrogation just hours after my transformation and knew vividly that it was just too much to take on straight away. Sonya would still be struggling to come to terms with everything as it is, she didn't need a dozen or more questions thrown at her yet. Even as I thought the words, I knew we wouldn't have much more time. I could understand perfectly Rose's enthusiasm in getting answers. I wanted them just as much as she did. We were running out of time and we had to be out of here before sundown tonight. I had no idea whether Sonya had any _friends _that might visit her once the sun fell, but just in case she did, I didn't want to be anywhere near here when the time came.

"Can I see my flowers?" Sonya asked abruptly, pulling me from my train of thought.

After exchanging a quick glance with Rose, I nodded. "Of course," I told her with a smile. Admiring flowers couldn't pose any dangers. Could it?

"I've always grown flowers," Sonya murmured.

"I know. I remember. They were gorgeous. The ones here are gorgeous, too. Is that why . . . I mean, did you just want a pretty garden?" Rose asked quietly as we stepped toward the door. Automatically, Rose and I fell into a guarding position, flanking Sonya, whether it be because she may pose a threat or because of her own safety, I wasn't sure. It just felt right that we take up post around her. Sonya didn't seem to notice.

I already knew Sonya's answer before she spoke. There was no way she grew flowers as a Strigoi because they we _pretty._ Strigoi didn't find anything pretty, or beautiful. All they saw was death and bloodlust. There was not one shard of goodness in any Strigoi. I knew from experience.

Sonya affirmed my thoughts as she answered Rose. "No. I never thought about pretty. They were . . . something to do. I'd always grown flowers. I had to see if I still could." Just like reading western novels for me had always been a habit, a love as a dhampir. I had carried that hobby into my life as a Strigoi just as Sonya had kept her hobby for growing flowers.

Rose glanced to me, something unreadable brimming in her eyes. It wasn't often that I couldn't read her. Rose was generally like an open book for me. But there were times, like this, when I just couldn't quite get a handle on what she was thinking.

Entering the living room, Sonya's eyes were immediately drawn to the brothers sitting on her couch. Her gaze met Robert's, and she froze in shock, staring into his eyes.

Victor broke into a smile, one of those smiles that gave you a sense of danger. This was a dangerous man, no matter how frail he was due to his debilitating illness. Although Lissa had been forced to heal him, it was clear regular healings were required in order to keep him healthy. Already he had an air of fragility about him, Sandovsky's Syndrome once again taking over his immune system, shutting his body down bit by bit. Whether Robert was capable of healing him, I wasn't sure, but even if he did have the ability I was positive his mental state would not be able to handle the use of so much Spirit. It would destroy him.

"Up and around. Have we found out what we need yet?" Victor asked slyly.

"Not yet," I snapped at him, narrowing my eyes.

"You broke my door," Sonya's voice made me turn toward the patio door.

"Collateral damage," Rose said simply with a small shrug of her shoulders. I almost laughed at her blasé attitude in a time like this, but settled for rolling my eyes at her instead.

Sonya stepped out onto the patio, coming to an abrupt halt just outside the door. Her expression became one of wonder and awe as she gazed into the bright sunlight surrounded by a cloudless blue sky. We were in for a hot summer day.

"It's so beautiful," she murmured, her eyes flickering around the yard. I understood her admiration perfectly. After spending so long shrouded in complete darkness, the natural beauty of the sun and nature was indescribable. Even now, after spending time in the real world again, I was still often struck by the beauty of life. I knew I could never take it for granted again.

Sonya continued to ramble, taking in her flowers which bloomed brightly in the golden glow of the morning sun. We all looked on as Sonya touched her finger tips to each flower, grazing the soft petals with a look of awe.

"Sydney said you should get some sleep," Rose said softly just as I suppressed a yawn. "It will give Sonya some time to admire her flowers," Rose said, a fond expression crossing her face as she watched her former teacher.

"You're right. Once Sonya's able to talk, we'll need to move," I smiled. "Sydney is turning into a battle mastermind."

"Hey!" Rose countered adamantly. "She's just a soldier." She teased lightly.

"Right," I laughed. Searching her liquid chocolate eyes, I reached my hand forward, gently allowing my fingers to brush down her cheek once. "Sorry, Captain." I dropped my hand, feeling a burning desire to pull her body to mine and never let go.

"General," Rose corrected, a blush rising to her cheeks, her voice wavering a little.

I bid Sonya a kind farewell before re-entering her house.

I regarded Rose's makeshift bed on the living room floor with hesitation. I didn't really want to sleep on a much too small bed made of couch cushions. ?With a sigh, I proceeded through the small house to Sonya's bedroom. It felt mildly eerie sliding into the bed of a former Strigoi, but weariness took over my mind and body quickly and I fell into a deep, albeit restless sleep.

I had nightmares. Again. But could one really call them nightmares when in reality they were memories surfacing in my unconscious state of mind?

This one was of when I first heard of Rose's appearance in Russia, when she was looking for me.

_I cast my glowing red gaze up from my tattered western novel as the door slammed shut two levels below me. I waited as Marlen heavily ascended the grand stair case and entered the even grander library room. For a Strigoi, he was incredibly timid and dim witted. Even now, fresh from hunting in the city, his face was one of confusion and . . . regret. Definitely regret. It lingered around his features, but bewilderment was the dominant expression on his remarkably plain face._

"_What's got you confused now? Didn't your prey fall for your charm?" I asked sarcastically. He had about as much manly charm as a door knob. I really failed to understand exactly why he was allowed to stay on here. Had I been in charge of the running of this place, he would be dead by now. At my hand. But alas, I did not have that kind of control. Not yet, anyway. Of course, I would gain head position eventually. Soon. _

_Marlen's eyes furrowed in thought, appearing as though he were struggling to find the right words. He truly was an absolute fool. "I had a weird experience tonight," he muttered, throwing his leather jacket across the room where it landed on an upholstered chair that stood against the end of a bookcase. "Met a girl out there tonight. She says she knows you." _

_My heart stuttered for a moment before I recovered myself. Who on Earth . . . ? Of course, there would only be one girl who would know I was in Russia and not the US. There would only ever be _one. _Only one girl who would even bother to look for me. Of course I knew exactly who Marlen was talking about before her name even slipped from his unworthy mouth. _

"_Rose Hathaway. She said her name is Rose Hathaway," My eyes met Marlen's as he quickly filled me in on his eventful night. "Dhampir girl, long brown hair. Very pretty. What I wouldn't give to taste her blood just once." A dazed and dreamy look crossed his face as he relished in the thought of tasting the blood of _my _Roza._

_Fury ripped through me and with a snarl, I leapt from my chair with lightening speed, grabbing Marlen by the throat and shoving him up against the nearest wall with a loud crash. "I know who she is," I snapped. "And don't you ever speak about her like that again. If I even hear her name slip from you filthy mouth once more, I will rip you apart. You know I can do it without even breaking a sweat." I sneered, releasing my grip on his throat. Marlen slid to the floor, a terrified look in his eyes. _

"_You were taken down by a teenage girl!" I laughed humourlessly, cruelly. _

"_There was a whole group of them. Rogue dhampirs. Unpromised kids. They answer to nobody." Marlen shot at me, regaining some of his composure. _

"_Where is she?" I shot at him, disregarding his words. So Roza had dragged a bunch of children into her hunt for me. I shook my head in disgust. Had I not taught her anything? She was an excellent fighter. She need not use the fumbling half-assed skill of unpromised dhampirs. She was better than that. I taught her better._

"_Novosibirsk. Right in the middle of the city. She said to tell you that she's looking for you." Marlen answered my question. _

_I didn't respond. Instead, I pondered his words. Rose. She was looking for me. Ah, I had hoped it wouldn't happen like this. I had thought coming strait to Russia after being awakened would mean she wouldn't find me. But of course, she has always been inquisitive. Rose's first thought would have been to come to my home country. Well that settled it then; I would go looking for her. There was no way she would find me out here. But, I could find her easily. Like two halves of a whole, drawn together . . . I abruptly turned on my heel, stalking toward the huge oak door. _

"_Where are you going?" Marlen queried me. _

"_To find her," I snapped._

"_Wait! Who is she? Why does she want to find you?" _

"_Because she's a stupid love-struck teenager," I spat the words as though they were a curse. _

_Without another word, I took off down the stairs with inhuman speed, and out the front door, disappearing into the cool night to find my Roza. I only hoped I wouldn't have to kill her. Oh, indeed, I had great plans for her._

With a harsh start, I awoke, my heart beating frantically. I couldn't quite place what about the memory had scared me. Compared to the usual nightmares, this one was relatively tame.

I sat up in bed, running my hands through my hair in a gesture of frustration. Why could I never get a peaceful hours' sleep? I groaned a curse word, squeezing my eyes shut tightly. I was so exhausted, yet there was zero chance of me ever actually falling asleep again.

My heart rate back to its normal steady rhythm, I slid from the bed just as a loud crash sounded from outside.

I raced back through the house, readying myself for a fight. All my weariness had dissipated, and my heart rate kicked up with anticipation.

Tearing out of the door, I was just in time to see a chair, unbidden by any kind of physical force, flew across the shaded area toward Rose who was hovering over Sonya. I winced as the chair crashed into Rose's back. Rose shook it off quickly.

Realizing that it was Robert who had used his mind to fling the chair, I raced toward him, wrapping my arms around the man. Green vines were slinking toward Sonya and Rose, ready to wrap themselves around the two. Knowing I had to break Robert's mental hold, I began dragging him toward the house just as Rose yelled at me to do so. For a brief moment, I took comfort in the knowledge that we still worked so well together.

As I pulled Robert toward the door, Victor was using every ounce of his strength to pull Robert out of my grasp, but having year of training behind me, as well as youth, I barely noticed the resistance. Victor was more of an inconvenience in me getting what I wanted.

Knowing too well that Sonya and Robert had to be kept well apart, I took the frail man to the bedroom, forcing him roughly onto the bed. Victor had of course followed us in and was now hovering protectively over his brother.

"Stay here," I hissed angrily. "Do not leave."

Without waiting for a reply, I stalked out of the room and back into the living room where Rose was now placing a sobbing Sonya onto the couch.

I stooped down in front of the couch, clutching Sonya's hands between mine. I murmured soothing words to the woman, not even realizing what I was saying. I was angry, furious. I needed to know what had happened out there.

Eventually, Sonya's sobs quietened. "Sydney, do you mind sitting with Sonya for a moment?" I asked the Alchemist. "I'd like to speak to Rose alone." I cast an angry look to Rose who almost cowered under my look. But her face took on an expression of determination and stubbornness as she followed me to the kitchen.

"What the _hell _happened out there?" I demanded.

"Don't speak to me like that!" Rose shot, her eyes staring me down. I gave her a look that clearly said _get on with it. _Rose shook her head before continuing. "She was so calm. She seemed fine so I thought it would be okay to ask her a few easy questions," Rose muttered. I clenched my jaw, keeping my emotions in check. It wouldn't do to have an outburst at Rose. We were the ones who needed to put on a united front and getting into a fight right now would not do anyone any favours.

"Go on," I said tersely.

"Well, things kind of got out of hand a little," Rose cast her eyes away from me, surveying the area. "Robert tried to compel her to answer and when she broke the compulsion, she was really angry. Understandably so. And then Victor got involved with his Earth using abilities, and well, you saw the rest. Suffice to say, Sonya probably isn't quite ready yet."

Damn straight she wasn't. "I told you it wasn't time!" I exclaimed, my emotions getting the better of me. "What were you thinking? She's too weak!"

"You call that weak?" Rose shot back just as heatedly. "And hey, I was doing fine! It wasn't until Victor and Robert got involved that things went to hell."

Now I was just majorly pissed off. Rose was just acting like a complete child again! I thought I taught her some measure of self-control, taught her _patience_. She had acted rashly once again without a single thought for the consequence. "They should have never gotten involved," I shot at her. "This is you, acting irrational again, jumping in foolishly with no thought of the consequences!"

"Hey! I was trying to make progress here. If being rational is sitting around and doing therapy, then I'm happy to jump over the edge. I'm not afraid to get in the game."

By now we were standing so close there was hardly any space left between us. Our argument had grown even more heated.

"You have _no _idea what you are saying," I snarled. She just didn't _get _it. She hadn't experienced it first-hand. Sonya couldn't handle this right now. "This may have set us back!"

"This set us _forward_. We found out what she knows about Eric Dragomir. The problem is she promised not to tell anyone about this baby."

I opened my mouth to retort when Sonya's soft voice broke in. "Yes, I promised," she almost moaned as though in agony. "I promised."

"We know. It's okay. It's okay to keep promises. I understand." Sydney soothed the woman, holding her hand tightly. I never thought I would see the day an Alchemist held the hand of a Moroi and former Strigoi without flinching. Sydney Sage truly was remarkable.

"But," said Sydney continued carefully, "I heard that you care about Lissa Dragomir."

"I can't," Sonya groaned, rocking back and forth in a rather disturbing manner.

"I know, I know. But what if there was a way to help her without breaking your promise?" Sydney asked softly. I stared at her quizzically, wondering what on Earth she was planning.

"What do you mean?" Sonya asked, her brows furrowed in confusion as she stared at Sydney.

"Well . . . what did you promise exactly? No to tell anyone that Eric Dragomir had a mistress and a baby?" Sydney probed.

Sonya gave her an affirmative.

"And not to tell who they were?"

Another nod from Sonya.

A dazzling smile lit up Sydney's features. "Did you promise not to tell anyone where they are?" Sonya nodded, and Sydney frowned a little. Then her face brightened again.

"Did you promise not to lead anyone to where they are?" Sydney asked excitedly.

After a moment of hesitation Sonya shook her head. "No,"

"So . . . you could lead us to them. But not tell us where they actually are. You wouldn't be breaking the promise that way." If I hadn't still been incredibly angry, I could have hugged Sydney right then. Although to me her logic was borderline ridiculous, I also knew that it was our best hope at finding this lost child.

"Maybe . . ." Sonya muttered, uncertainty flashing through her features.

"It would help Mikhail." Rose said softly. My eyes darted toward the younger dhampir. What was she doing? This could undo everything! If Sonya's reaction was anything like my own, she probably wanted nothing to do with her former lover.

"Mikhail? You know him?" Sonya asked incredulously, her eyes alight.

"He's my friend. He's Lissa's too." It was almost an unfair way to manipulate Sonya, however right now, we were in a desperate situation.

"Mikhail . . ." Sonya's expression took on one of sadness and regret. A few tears glistened on her cheeks.

"You won't break your promise," Sydney reiterated gently. "Just lead us. It is what Mikhail and Lissa would want you to do. It's the right thing to do."

"I'll lead you there," Sonya whispered, fear evident in her eyes. I felt incredibly bad for the woman. She was only trying to do the right thing by her family and we were all but forcing her into going back on her word. It was unfair and I felt a flash of guilt. Hopefully all would work out well and we wouldn't have to worry about the horrible feelings. Sonya might even thank us for it later.

"We're going on another road trip!" Sydney declared. "Go get ready."

At the prospect of finding more answers, I felt the anger diffuse from my body and I glanced down at Rose with a small smile. Suddenly, I was very aware of just how close we really we. We were almost touching. I breathed in her intoxicating scent, doing my best not to crush her body to my own. I controlled the look on my face, trying to remain casual.

"You were wrong," I said with a glace to Sydney. "She really is the new general in town."

Rose's cheeks flushed and a large part of me hoped that the reaction was due to our proximity. "Maybe. But it's okay. You can still be colonel." She told me with a cheeky grin. It made her look adorable.

"Oh?" I inquired ruefully. "Did you demote yourself? Colonel is right below general. What does that make you?"

With a huge grin spreading across her face, Rose reached behind her and withdrew a set of keys. "Driver." She said with a wink.

I laughed at that happily. There was no way in hell I was letting her behind the wheel. I wasn't ready to die just yet.


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14.

AN: I can't actually apologize enough for the HUGE delay in updating. My final year of highschool has really taken a toll on me emotionally; in short, i've been really stressed and sick. I have a plan for this story though! I've mapped it out, I know what each chapter will include and i've even written the epilogue already! Chapter 15 is also about half way done, so that should be up tomorrow night AEST (Australia).

My real motivation for getting back into this is the fast approaching release of the Vampire Academy film; Blood Sisters! I CANNOT WAIT! Danila Kozlovsky, ladies!

But yeah, I honestly hope to get this story finished soon! I had someone inbox me asking why it's taking so long if all i'm doing is re-writing from a different POV. For those of you who have never done this before, it actually takes quite a while; you literally have to sit there with the book and your laptop and read further ahead before you start writing, to make sure that you're including the right information. Another person asked why I'm so far into LS, but my story is only on chapter 13; answer is simple; I've combined quite a few chapters, and there is also the fact that there are quite a few chapters in which Rose spends the entire chapter in Lissa's head. These parts give me more free-reign with Dimitri, but there's only so much I can include. Hope this answers some questions!

Sorry for the long AN! ON WITH CHAPTER 14. Richelle Mead owns all.

* * *

><p>Victor turned the key in the ignition once more. The car's engine stuttered, lingered and failed again to start. Victor slammed his palm against the steering wheel in anger and frustration.<p>

"It won't start!" he spat, climbing out of the driver's seat and forcefully shutting the door behind him.

I cast my eyes to Rose who watched on in amusement. Her gaze flickered to me and we shared a fleeting moment of appreciation for the Alchemist who was able to dismantle a car.

"Well," Rose sighed, wandering toward Victor. "I guess you will just have to come along with us." Her face almost looked contrite... _almost. _Behind her facade, I could see the snide glee lingering just beneath the surface. Her plan was foolproof. Keep the two brothers close, and we would easily be able to figure out a way to hand them over to authorities without getting ourselves into any trouble. I knew that between Rose and myself, we easily had it in us to retrain the two fragile men, but there were also their powers to take into consideration. If Robert said 'jump', under his spirit control, I would probably say; "How high?" And then on Victor's side, there was earth wielding powers. I'd seen what Natalie could do to a perfectly find wooden bench seat. I didn't want to find out what Victor could do with his elemental control.

"Alright," I addressed our little convoy of Alchemist, ex-Strigoi, a maniac and an unstable spirit user, and Roza. "Since we all have to take the CR-V, there are going to be some seating arrangements. I'll be driving – sorry General – Robert, you get shotgun, Rose in the backseat between Victor and Sonya, and Sydney..." I turned to the Alchemist who had a speculative look on her face. "Cargo space." I told her, with an apologetic look.

"But that's dangerous!" She cried in outrage. "And that's just adding insult to injury for taking my keys hostage!"

I gave her a rueful smile. "Don't fret, I'm an excellent driver. Just be thankful I'm the one behind the wheel, and not Rose. I'd feel worse if it were her in charge of a moving vehicle."

Ignoring Rose's look of mock hurt, I finished piling the bags into the CR-V.

I felt Rose's presence beside me before I saw her. It was just how we worked; always so utterly aware of the other.

"We have got to get rid of Victor and Robert now," Rose murmured to me, throwing a bag of groceries into the cargo space, which unfortunately further reduced the amount of space Sydney would have. I was banking on Sonya's sister's home not being too far from here. I'd feel horrible if Sydney were stuck in the back of the car for hours on end.

"They've done what we needed. Keeping them is dangerous. It's time to turn them over to the guardians."

I nodded, considering her words. "I agree. But, there's no good way to go about it. Not yet. We can't leave them tied up beside the road; I wouldn't put it past them to escape and hitchhike. We also can't turn them in ourselves, for obvious reasons." I chewed absentmindedly on the inside of my cheek, thinking of, and then quickly discounting, ways we could off-load the brothers to authorities. I didn't want to risk Rose and I being spotted by someone who was out looking for us. I couldn't imagine that being caught with an escaped criminal would go down too well with our police, not on top of our already hefty list of crimes. No... if we were caught, there would be no escaping it alive.

"Sydney could turn them in," Rose said, leaning against the car, allowing the sun to glint through her dark hair. She closed her eyes, feeling the warmth kiss her skin. I also, revelled in the feel of the heat.

"That would probably be our best bet," I agreed with her, nodding. "But I really don't want to part with her just yet, not until we get to wherever it is we're heading. We might need her help."

Rose sighed in frustration. "And so we bring them along." She muttered.

"Afraid so," I cast her a wary look. "You know, when they are taken into custody, there is a very good chance they will have quite the story to tell the authorities about us." I couldn't shake the fear that as soon as Victor and Robert were handed over, everything Rose, Sydney and I had done to keep ourselves of the radar of our police would come unravelling, like a ball of string being batted around by a cat.

Rose crinkled her face slightly, thinking, no doubt. "Yeah," she sighed. "But I guess that's a problem for later. Gotta deal with the immediate problems first."

I smiled gently, wanting to reach for her. I quashed the brief thought. "Well, that's always been our strategy, hasn't it?"

"There's also the matter of what we're going to do once we get to wherever it is Sonya is taking us," Rose said. "How are we going to tackle this?"

"I've been thinking about that. And I think we need to approach this in the smartest way possible. We have no idea who these people are, or how they're going to react, because there is the possibility that they will know exactly who we are if they have a connection to the Court happenings. So, I was thinking; you should go in first. They won't be as thrown by you. Robert and Victor aren't getting out of the car until we can assert that it's safe to do so," Rose nodded in agreement, chewing her bottom lip.

"So, you stay in the car with them, and I'll go in with Sydney and Sonya?" Rose finished off my plan.

I nodded. "I think taking Sydney is a good bet because they'll immediately see that she is an Alchemist and, hopefully, they won't feel so threatened. Of course, they're going to be shocked when they see Sonya, so be prepared for that."

"Gotcha, comrade." Rose said with a mock salute.

A few moments later, we were all piling into our allocated seats in the CR-V. Once we hit the highway, everyone fell silent, except for Sonya who was giving me vague, sudden directions.

For once, even Victor was silent. Which was unusual for the chatty man. Victor Dashkov had always struck me as the type of person who always had something to say about absolutely _everything._ I suspected that his lack of witty remarks came down to his lack of blood. I didn't know how long it had been since Victor and Robert had last fed on human blood, but I guessed that it had been too long. Both men appeared to be weak, particularly Robert who had used eons of energy channelling spirit into healing Sonya. Despite having a human in the back of the car, I felt grateful that neither Victor, nor his brother were at full strength. Having them weakened would only benefit us in the long run.

"Head north on the I-75," Sonya instructed from her place beside Rose in the backseat.

"How long will this take?" I asked Sonya.

"Not long," the woman mused. "A few hours, maybe more." I sighed quietly, settling myself in for a long drive.

Silence filled the car once more. I glanced in the rear view mirror, noticing that Rose had a slightly dazed expression on her face. She was with Lissa, I guessed.

As I drove, I had to consciously keep reminding myself not to let my mind wander, or dwell on the past, or worry about the future. Just drive, Belikov. I ordered myself. It's not that hard. Keeping my mind simply focussed on the present was slowly becoming easier. My night terrors were less frequent, and my fears of sleeping were subsiding. My self-loathing was changing, but into what, I didn't know. I certainly didn't love myself. But I didn't necessarily despise everything about myself anymore either. Perhaps I was Turing over a new leaf, as they say. Changing my attitude and outlook on life for the better. Maybe I could be happy someday.

I was abruptly withdrawn from my epiphany by Sonya's voice. "You're awfully happy," she noted. I took a look in the rear view mirror, seeing Sonya peering inquisitively at Rose.

I heard a slight hesitation in Rose's voice as she said; "Lissa passed her second monarch test."

Victor made a small noise in the back of his throat. "Of course she did." He said dryly, as though he had expected nothing less of the last Dragomir princess.

I, however, felt a small surge of panic upon hearing the news. "Is she okay? Injured?"

"She's fine," Rose said, almost uncertainly. I stopped myself from questioning her. Maybe there was something that she didn't want to say in front of the brothers. I had to rest easy knowing that if something serious had happened to Lissa during her monarch test, Rose would certainly have told me. She wouldn't keep something bad to herself. Besides, a brief glace at Rose told me that she was no worried, and I knew I could relax.

A half hour of silence passed, Victor, I could see was resting his head against the car window, napping. I couldn't see Sydney in the cargo area anymore, which meant she was either sleeping, or just lying down. Rose had her eyes closed, her head resting back against the backseat. Sonya and Robert were both still awake.

Voices from the backseat caught my attention. Rose was awake.

"You were having a spirit dream," Sonya was saying.

"How'd you know?" Rose asked.

"You aura,"

I heard a small snort from Rose, which made me glace back at her. She had a speculative look upon her face. "Auras used to be cool, but now they're just starting to get annoying."

Sonya ignored the jab at aura reading. "Were you with Vasilisa?"

"No. My boyfriend. He's a spirit user too." I felt my heart jolt rather painfully at the mention of Adrian. No, I had to remind myself, despite Adrian's flaws, he was actually a really good guy, and it had been evident since they moment I saw him look at Rose for the first time at the ski lodge all those months ago, that he truly loved and cared for her. What more could she ask for? He loved her unconditionally. And he certainly didn't have demons haunting him for the murder of hundreds of people. They were good together. I swallowed painfully at the words. Did I really believe that? I wasn't so sure anymore.  
>I missed the end of Sonya and Rose's conversation, but I was startled when Sonya suddenly pointed and abruptly said; "There! Take that exit,"<p>

I growled in frustration as I did some rather spectacular maneuvering to avoid a car and still manage to make the exit without causing an accident. Sydney hadn't fared so well in the cargo with the sudden lurching of the car. Being unsecured by a seatbelt caused her to yelp and suddenly sit up.

"A little warning next time would be helpful," I noted dryly. Sonya appeared to ignore me.

Coming to a halt at a red light, I peered at the sign at the entrance to a housing estate. 'WELCOME TO ANN ARBOR, MICHIGAN.'

"Are we here?" Rose asked eagerly, shifting in her seat to sit up properly. "And how long were we on the road?"

"Six hours," I said wearily. I was definitely tired, but I couldn't afford to be right now. I forced myself to concentrate, thinking about the possible threat that may lay ahead for us. I had no idea whose house we were going to walk into. There was a great possibility that the person Sonya was taking us to would be completely aware of who Rose and I were and wouldn't give us a chance to explain. There was also the minor fact that we were harbouring a real fugitive. I didn't want to run the risk of these people identifying Victor Dashkov. It was no secret that the former Dashkov prince was on the run from the law, having mysteriously broken out of a maximum security prison. No, I had to be ready for whatever we may be facing.

"Go left at the second light," Sonya motioned toward the turn off. "Now right at the corner." I followed her instructions wordlessly. The car was filled with a silent tenison, no one daring to breathe a word. My heart lurched a little, and I worked to keep myself calm. I had to trust that Sonya wasn't leading us to someone who would immediately hand us over to authorities. I gathered that she wouldn't purposely endanger us; vindication didn't really seem her style. But Sonya hadn't been in contact with her relative for a very long time. There was the possibility that she had moved houses, or that she wasn't too keen on taking in fugitives. There was also a chance that this person we were headed for was part of authrotiy themselves. That would truly be our worst case scenario.

I pressed my foot on the accelerator a little harder, unconsciously desperate to finally get this over with.

"There!" Sonya said sharply, pointing to a modest brick house. I slowed the car, and pulled into the driveway. The house was much like all the others in the small area, neatly trimmed garden with a nice homely modern appeal.

"Do you know if your relatives still live here?" Rose asked Sonya. Again, I was struck by how often Rose and I had exactly the same thoughts. It was starling how well we worked together.  
>Sonya made no attempt to answer Rose. I only realised now how terrified the woman must be. She had been thrown for a loop when she was brought back from the dead - or rather, undead - and was still recovering from that. I could recall after my change how I never wanted to leave my room, didn't want face up to anyone. And now, poor Sonya was doing something she promised to never do. She was letting outsiders in on her family's secret. I felt terrible for her, but I forced myself to squash those feelings of guilt and remorse for Sonya's unfortunate situation. We needed this. I had to do this for Rose. This was the only way Lissa could take control of our world. She needed her sibling.<p>

"Same plan?" Rose asked, unbuckling her seatbelt.

"Same plan," I nodded. "You go into the house. You look less threatening."

"Hey!" Rose shot back with mock indignation.

I chuckled lightly, despite the tension building in my body. "I said 'look'." I knew Rose could hold her own. She was deceptively small on the outside, but I knew first-hand that under her clothing, she was all slender muscle.

I turned to gaze at Rose. "Be careful," I murmured gently as she slid out of thr car, followed by Sonya and Sydney. I couldn't help but feel I was sending her into danger.

"You too," she said with a smile. I couldn't help the warmth that grew within me, coming to display in a smile on my face.

I watched, slightly fearful, as the three women approached the house. I had no idea what they were heading into. All I could do was hope that these people would give Rose a chance to explain what was happening, and hope, that we weren't following a dead lead.

I watched as the door opened, revealing a slender Moroi woman. I couldn't really make out her features. I small confrontation occurred, putting me on edge. Every muscle in my body was coiled, ready to attack if necessary. Before Rose entered the house, she turned to give me a small smile, easing some of the tension from my body.

Time seemed to slow down as we waited, mostly in silence, apart from Victor's quiet murmurings to his brother.

"What are you saying?" I snapped, drawing my eyes away from the front window of the house, hoping to catch a glimpse of what was going on inside.

Victor shot me a glare. If I had been paying attention to the brothers, I wouldn't have had to ask what he was saying. _Pay attention, Belikov. _

"I was just saying that if this all goes without a hitch, and we all go inside, both mine and Robert's identities have to be concealed. I won't have these people knowing it's me," Victor tells me with a snide smile.

"Spirit," I said by way of explanation.

"Exactly. If Robert and Sonya can combine their spirit, they will easily be able to mask both mine and Robert's true features. Whoever's on the other side of that door," he gestured to the house. "Will have no idea who we really are."

I considered it for a moment. If we took in a well-known fugitive, Sonya's relatives might freak out a little. Victor's plan made sense, really.

Eventually, I nodded. "Okay. We'll wait for the others to come back and fill Sonya in. But only if she's feeling well enough to handle the use of her spirit. I don't want her to be too weak."

* * *

><p>"It's Jill Mastrano and her family!" Rose told me breathlessly. I was slightly puzzled by the name.<p>

"Jill?" I questioned with a frown.

Rose sighed impatiently as the brothers and I slid out of the car. "You know, Jill! The girl we met that time we were helping the priest to move the boxes to the junior campus back at St. Vlads. She was all star struck when she saw you!"

"That's her?" I asked incredulously. "And she's the girl we're looking for?"

"Exactly. She's Lissa's half-sister. Her mom, well, she was just paying her way through life when she met Eric Dragomir, and you know the rest."

Rose and I quickly exchanged what was going on, and with Rose's ascertain that the Mastrano's weren't going to turn us in, I let her know Victor's plan.

Turns out, Sonya was feeling rather happy after reuniting with her family once more. They seemed to have welcomed her back into their embrace with hardly a second thought. Sonya's spirits – no pun intended – were lifted enough for her to exercise control over her magical abilities to combine with Robert and create a sort of veil over the two brothers.

Once inside the house, we were all quickly introduced to each other, and showed to the guest bedrooms where Jill's mom, Emily, said we could shower and clean up. I realised that I actually couldn't remember the last time Sydney, Rose or I had had the chance to take a shower.

Like any Moroi host would do, Emily managed to organise a feeder for the Moroi travelling with us. It was common courtesy among the vampiric kind, just like any human would offer tea and coffee to their guests.

When the feeders arrived, Rose and I retreated upstairs to one of the guest bedrooms. With both Robert and Victor in the living room, it would be stretching their spirit abilities much too far to cover Rose and I from the prying eyes of the feeder deliverers. With us being on their most-wanted list, I wasn't taking the risk that the feeder company would catch a glimpse of our true identities.

"Who gets first shower?" I ask Rose once we were safely in the privacy of one of the guest bedrooms upstairs.

"I say we flip a coin," Rose grins, digging into her pockets and withdrawing a quarter. "Heads or tails?"

"Heads," I smile wanly.

Rose flips the coin, allowing it to fall to a quiet clatter on the floorboards. She kneels and picks it up. "Tails," she says with a grin, grabbing her backpack and racing out the door. I laugh lightly, positive that the coin had fallen heads up.

I allowed her to go, wanting to keep watch over the two brothers. I quietly make my way out onto the landing of the second floor and peer over the railing. In the living room below us, Robert had his face nestled against the neck of a young girl, feeding. I cringed a little in disgust and withdrew the bedroom once more. Both Robert and Victor would be too weak to take on anyone right now. We had time before they would be back to full strength, meaning I could leave them downstairs unattended for a short time.

Rose sauntered back into the bedroom, hair still damp, clad in the dress. "Your turn," she murmured, as I let my gaze drink in her appearance. I shook my head slightly and grabbed my bag, heading out to the bathroom.

To say that that was the best shower I'd ever had would be an understatement. The warm water gliding over my body helped to relieve some of the pent up tension lingering in my muscles. I felt the dirt and grime from the past days wash down the drain, leaving me clean and refreshed, and with a much better mindset. I stepped out of the shower and towel dried my hair and body, stepping into clean jeans and a grey t-shirt. I pulled fresh socks onto my feet and left the bathroom.

I re-entered the bedroom and was startled to see Rose sitting on the bed, a look of distant horror on her face. It was a shocking expression. Fear filled her chocolate eyes, her mouth open slightly. A strangled cry emitted from deep within her throat.

Fear spread through me. Lissa. "Rose! Rose what's wrong? Are you okay?" I clapped my hands firmly on her shoulders, shaking her roughly to pull her from her altered state of consciousness.

Her eyes finally focussed in on me. "No!" she breathed. "I have to – I have to go back to Court. Now. Lissa's in danger. She needs me."

Her words registered with me and I caught her arm in a vice grip, stopping her from leaving the room. "Rose. Roza, slow down." The old nickname slipped from between my lips. I pulled her arm harder than I meant to, turning her around to face me. "Tell me what happened," I demanded.

"Dimitri," she breathed. "Someone tried to attack Lissa. And, it was a Moroi man. Eddie... he killed him," she trailed off, the horrified look on her face becoming more pronounced. "Dimitri, he's in so much trouble," she moaned, letting her head fall forward onto my shoulder. "Someone tried to hurt her, and I wasn't there to keep her safe,"

"But Eddie was," I said quietly, rubbing my hand down her back, keeping her calm. "She's okay. She's alive." I released my hold on Rose and she leant back against the wall, resting her head.

"And now he's in trouble. Those guardians were pissed,"

"Only because they don't know the whole story. They see a dead body and a weapon, that's it. Once they get the facts and the testimonies, everything will be okay. Eddie saved a Moroi. That's his job." My words are rushed as I try to reinforce the idea that Lissa is safe with Eddie. No need for rash decisions. If she were hurt, or worse... well, I'd probably be out the door by now and heading back to Court myself.

"But he killed another Moroi to do it! We're not supposed to do that," I knew exactly what she was saying. We'd both grown up with the mantra; They come first.

"This wasn't a normal situation," I said firmly, keeping eye contact with her.

"I know, I know. I just can't stand leaving her undefended. I want so badly to go back and keep her safe. Right now." I know, Roza, I know. I yearned to reach out and hold her close, keep her calm. "What if it happens again?"

"Other people are there to protect her," I said quietly, giving her a small smile. "Believe me, I want to protect her too, but we'd be risking our lives for nothing if we take off right now. Wait a little longer and at least risk your life for something important."

"And Jill is important, isn't she?" Rose asked in a small voice. She was seeking my reassurance that what we were doing was the right thing, that we were out here doing this for the greater good.

"Very," I assured her, nodding.

A small smile spread across Rose's face. I cocked my head to the side, feeling a smile of my own. "We did it." She said, her smile becoming a grin. "Against all reason. . . somehow, we found Lissa's lost sister. Do you realize what this means? Lissa can have everything she's entitled to now. They can't deny her anything. Hell, she could be queen if she wanted. And Jill..." Rose's excited jabber dropped off momentarily. "Well, she's part of an ancient royal family. That's got to be a good thing, right?" She seemed unsure. I, too, shared her hesitations. I'd seen what royal Moroi politics was like. I wasn't sure sixteen-year-old Jill Mastrano was quite ready for that.

"I think it all depends on Jill," I said quietly, contemplating my words. "And what the after-effects of all this are." My words seemed to cause Rose some emotional upset, as her face became slightly contrite and she cast her eyes down to her feet.

I reached for her, allowing my fingers to gently tap her chin back up. "Hey," I said softly. "It's okay," I slid my fingers down her cheek, following her jaw line. "You did the right thing. No one else would have tried something this impossible. Only Rose Hathaway. You took a gamble to find Jill. You risked your life by breaking Abe's rules – and it paid off. It was all worth it, Roza," I whisper the last words, revelling in the feel of the supple skin of her cheek beneath my rough fingertips.

"I hope Adrian thinks so," she mulls over her words. "He thinks me leaving out safe house was the stupidest thing ever."

The mention of Adrian – her _boyfriend _– causes my hand to abruptly fall from her face, my words coming out a little harsher than I originally intended. "You told him about all this?"

"Not about Jill. But I accidentally told him we weren't in West Virginia anymore. He's kept it a secret, though," Rose quickly adds, seeing the warning look in my eye. If Adrian slips up, just as Rose had, and someone around Court hears, we will find ourselves being dragged back to Court – dead or alive.

"I can believe that," I said slowly. "He... he seems pretty loyal to you." And why wouldn't he, my subconscious asks. Despite what many people say and believe about Adrian Ivashkov, I knew without doubt, that he was a good person. A little unhinged at times, thanks to spirit, and rather dependent on his vices; but in all, a nice guy. He was certainly very fond of Rose.

"He is," Rose nodded in agreement. "I trust him completely."

I couldn't help the next words that fell from my mouth, coming out in a tumble of words. "And he makes you happy?" It was almost a demand.

For a fleeting moment, Rose appears to stew over my question, contemplating her answer, perhaps. "Yeah, he does," she says at last. "I have fun with him. I mean, hes infuriating sometimes – okay, a lot of the time – but don't be fooled by all the vices. He's not a bad person." There was a slight edge of defence to Rose's tone as she spoke of her boyfriend.

"I know he isn't," I agreed with her. "He's a good man. It's not easy for everyone to see, but I can. He's still getting himself together, but he's on his way. I saw it in the escape. And after..." I almost choked on my words. "After Siberia, he was there for you? He helped you?" Thinking about Siberia and the events that had unfolded there still gave me chills, causing a flood of guilt and fear flood me.

Rose nodded, but I wasn't done there. I couldn't help the question, it was almost like word-vomit, but I just _had _to know the answer. "Do you love him?" It was a very personal question, one that I wouldn't ask many people. But Rose was different. I could ask her anything and tell her anything. We had a mutual understanding between us.

It took her a few beats to answer my question. "Yeah," she finally said. "I. . . I do love him."

It felt like I'd been hit with a bucket of ice-cold water. Her words cut deeper than I ever could have thought. Was it just a natural response to finally knowing that the woman you had one loved beyond all else was finally moving on, giving her love to another man? I should be happy that she had moved on. I was the one who had told her to do so; _"Love fades, mine has." _

"Good, I'm glad." I turned away from her, suddenly feeling the overwhelming need to put distance between us. I needed some breathing space.

I felt her approach me; "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I said shortly. "I just want to make sure that you're okay. That you're happy." It was only the half-truth. I _did _want her to be happy, but was _I _happy with her being happy with Adrian? It was all becoming too messy. "Things have been changing, that's all," I said, forcing a smile onto my face in a bid to ease some of the tension in the room. "It's making me reconsider so much. Ever since Donovan . . . and then Sonya . . . it's strange. I thought it all changed the night Lissa saved me. But it didn't. There's been so much more, more to the healing process than I realized," I frowned, fighting off the ever-present feelings of guilt and depression. It would not do to dwell on the past. "Every day I figure out something new. Some new emotion I'd forgotten to feel. Some revelation I totally missed. Some beauty I didn't see."

"Hey, my hair in the alley does not go on that list, okay?" Rose teased, trying to lighten the mood, no doubt. "You were in shock."

I moved toward her again, feeling the forced smile become true. "No, Roza. It was beautiful. It's beautiful now." I tell her truthfully, running my gaze along her long locks.

"The dress is just throwing you off," Rose said, her voice strained slightly. I caught her gaze again, looking at her in a way that I hadn't looked at her for a very long time. It threw me. There, before me, stood the most breathtakingly beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on. Roza; brave, stunning, otherworldly. I felt sadness and regret well within me. And for the first time since my transformation back to a living being, I was truly allowing myself to feel the pain over losing Roza. I realized now that that pain had always been there, lingering just beneath the surface of my stony exterior. I'd just never allowed it to come to its peak.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" Roza asks, her voice breathy.

I shook my head, and chewed my lip. "Because sometimes, a person can get so caught up in the details that they miss the whole. It's not just the dress or the hair. It you. You're beautiful. So beautiful, it hurts me." Rose's breath caught at my words. I knew why. The last time I'd said those exact words; _"So beautiful, it hurts me," _was back in the old watch post cabin at St. Vladimir's. The night everything had seemed so surreal, so perfect with Rose laying in my arms, our bodies becoming one. The memory causes me pain now. Pain over what I no longer have.

Without even realising it, I'd moved even closer to Rose, so that barely more than a breath separated our bodies. Rose's eyes seemed to melt, becoming pure orbs of melted chocolate; their beauty undisputable. Her pink lips formed a small 'o', parted slightly. Electricity crackled between us. What I wouldn't give to lean in, press my lips to hers and . . .

"Hey guys, have you – oh, sorry. I –that is -" Sydney came to a halt in the half-open doorway. Rose and I immediately pulled away from each other. We had been _so close. _I couldn't shake the feelings she had evoked in me.

In a shaky breath, Rose turned to Sydney. "No problem. What's going on?"

Sydney's eyes shot back and forth between us, no doubt contemplating what had been going on. I wasn't even sure what had been about to occur.

"I – that is, I just wanted to come hand out. I can't handle that going on downstairs." Despite her obvious discomfort in here right now, a slightly mortified look crossed Sydney's face.

"Sure," Rose said with an attempt at flippancy. "We were just . . . talking," Rose seemed to realise, as I had, that Sydney did not believe that for a second. "We were just talking about Jill. Do you have any ideas on how to get her to Court – seeing as we're all outlaws."

"Well," Sydney said, visibly relaxing. "We could always have her mother-" her words were cut harshly short by a loud crash emitting from downstairs. Without hesitation, Rose and I sprung into action, quickly shifting for the door. Shouts and screams sounded from the bottom floor.

"Get down!" the words were shouted from downstairs. My blood ran cold, fear swept through every inch of my body.

"Guardians," I breathed, exchanging a horrified look with Rose. "There are guardians raiding the house."

LET'S GO FOR 15 REVIEWS FOR CHAPTER 15? I know I'm getting enough readers to achieve this review goal! I think we can do this :D xo


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